realpolitik | Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron

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Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron | 071

[this is a catch-all for boyfriends

here's a list

- ice cream ✓
- seasickness
- stahn sacrifice ✓
- reunion: judas ✓
- taming stahn's hair ✓
- piggyback rides ✓
- just imagine
- family dinner
- why is there pow hammer
- possessive leon
- apologies
- post-barbatos afterlife meeting
- AND MORE]

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[He doesn't understand why this is...comfortable. Why the steady patter of the rain, mixed with the relaxed breathing from Stahn manages to settle even Leon. Why the warmth and the movements are actually making him sleepier, instead of making him uptight and nervous.

Leon has never been one for physical touch. It has never meant anything good for him. Marian, sometimes, would take his hand, but after the way that he reacted stiffly on occasion even to her, she was careful about it, and it was rare. Sometimes, he thought he regretted that a little, but he can't change the fact that in general, physical touch was only a method of transferring pain, whether it be Hugo, endless days of training as a child, or similar things.

So, sleepily, he has to wonder. Why is he so comfortable here and now?

It's true that Stahn would never raise a hand to Leon like that in anger--the very thought is ludicrous. They give each other bruises on occasion training, but that is a mutual, accepted deal, and he...perhaps he enjoys it. In the quiet of his own mind, in the quiet of this place, he can admit that much.

Quietly, barely to be heard over Stahn's own breathing, he sighs. This is difficult. The longer he remains like this, the sleepier he gets, and then the sleepier he gets, the more okay he is with it. It's hard to fuss when he just feels...very content and satisfied. He's definitely fighting to keep his eyes open, at the very least.

How...frustrating. He doesn't understand this at all.]

[stahn's own comfort with the situation continues to manifest in small idle gestures.

they're all little things, like the way his fingers sleepily trace their way up leon's spine, or how they thread lightly in the ends of his hair. it's the way he shifts between lighter sleep and equally light breaths to the deeper sleep with the heavier snores. there are even those moments in slight shifts where he emits quiet sounds, ones that seem peaceful and content. something like that alone is rare for stahn, whose energy is usually so bounding that it's hard to pull those moments of contented peace while on a journey as expansive as theirs.

at least leon has some things right; hurting leon is not something he'd ever do intentionally. training aside, of course. and the fact that stahn can recognize that the figure he's enveloped is leon without even waking, but still takes great care and remains gentle is proof of that. for someone who can often be over-the-top, hot-blooded, loud and definitely forceful, especially in a fight, he is surprisingly serene when he sleeps... even if that serenity runs so deep that waking him is impossible unless he does so on his own.]

[If Leon wasn't as sleepily content as he is, there would be a lot more protesting going on. But it's been a long few days, and quite frankly, he's tired. So he's perfectly willing to settle here for now, until he's ready to find a way to get Stahn to let him go (pipe dreams, really)--

And then there are Stahn's fingers running up his spine, and he does stiffen at that, making a startled noise that's once again muffled into Stahn's chest (in a way, he hadn't realized how close they are once again). But...a touch like that is nothing Leon has ever experienced before, and he has no idea what to make of it. It feels...well, even if it feels nice, it's also something a bit Too Much; he tries to shift away, protesting on automatic. It's too intimate, too gentle and soft of a touch, and Leon doesn't know what to do, or what to think of it, and even if he doesn't want to admit it, his breathing is speeding up and...

He feels somewhat panicked.

And there's something pathetic in feeling panicked over something like that, Leon is aware enough of himself for that, but even so, he can't quite restrain it. Quickened breathing and all, Leon plants his hands against Stahn's chest, trying to shove him away and gain some distance.

(Because he can't think right now, not well, he just knows that he's not actually equipped to deal with this.)]

[leon's plan works... well, sort of.

it works in that stahn only stirs a bit when being pushed away, but it's not exactly enough to shove him off completely. it means that even though his hand relaxes from the idle motions, it now rests lightly on leon's arm.

the feeling of being pushed away doesn't wake up, but he does scrunch his nose up a bit—why is all the warm comfort going away? he lets out a small noise, then shifts again. this time, it's his leg that moves, causing a knee to graze against leon's thigh before he stops moving. clearly, he's not content to let leon go completely, no matter how desperately the other panics. it's comfortable, he wants to stay comfortable in his sleep.]

[Sort of.

Sort of is not good enough, especially when it proceeds to get worse. He doesn't even have the time to be relaxed for long; suddenly Stahn's moving his leg (and Leon had been aware vaguely that it was there the whole time but only just now has it become legitimately alarming) and the noise that escapes Leon is honestly strangled.

This is... too much closeness. Too much of everything. Stahn!!!!]

Stahn! Stahn, wake up this instant, you buffoon! You-- [God all of this is way too close, he needs to be about five feet away yesterday. His voice is far more distressed than he will ever admit it is though--but Stahn is just way too close.]

[as if that could wake him up.

it doesn't, really. but that doesn't mean in doesn't earn a reaction from stahn, even if it's not a conscious one. he remains unmoving, comfortable in this position, though his brows knit a bit before he utters a single word from his sleeping state.]

Leon... [it's mumbled and throaty, his voice clearly in that sleeping state. but the way he says leon's name isn't anything that should be expected. it's not a response to leon's protests, it's not concern that he's done something wrong to upset leon. it's peaceful, serene as his sleeping—like there isn't a single care in the world.

really, it serves more as a response to he fact that leon is addressing him at all than why it's happening, and it's gone as quickly as it arrived, with stahn lowering his head on the pillow a bit and leaving his face closer to leon's.

oops.]

[whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck

Leon's never really thought of Stahn as attractive or not, as someone to look at in that sort of way or not. But quite suddenly, and quite frankly, Stahn's face is right up next to his, and Stahn is murmuring his name in a way like that, and he's tangled up with him like this, and Leon's response, when confronted will all of this all at once, is--

Well, obviously, it's to flail and try to put distance between them.

The problem is, upon flailing and trying to move away from Stahn's shifting legs, Leon ends up not noticing just how close Stahn's face is to his.

If this was a shoujo scene, this is where their lips would accidentally meet, and it would be a sparkly moment. It's not, though, so instead Leon's chin accidentally collides with Stahn's with a harsh thud.

Ow.]

[good job, leon.

stahn's instinct at the impact is to pull his hand back a bit—which may be something of a relief for leon, since it's a small reprieve in all this unplanned contact. it doesn't really stray far, resting on the bed in the small gap between his chest and leon... but it's a little more freedom than he's offered in the last few minutes.

his leg remains as it's been though, knee sandwiched between leon's thighs and socked toes pressed lightly against his shins. his head doesn't move either; he's got that peaceful, dead to the world expression on his face, jaw slack as he snores lightly. he's the picture of a clueless country bumpkin right now, truly.]

[It is a bit of a reprieve, which is good; Leon's a little dazed from the force of cracking his chin against an immovable object aka Stahn's head, so for a moment he's just left lying there, blinking the stars away.

And then, he shakes it off, glancing at Stahn and his peaceful, dead to the world expression, and tries to edge away again.

(How is he even still asleep?)

For now, he'll call it a victory if he can get a bit away from Stahn's face; the legs thing might be a lost cause.]

[it's a reprieve that lasts a while, fortunately for leon. eventually, stahn rolls onto his back, even freeing leon's legs up. of course, that doesn't always mean it's a good thing.

on his back means louder snoring and splayed limbs, being a little more of a bed hog than before and a whole hell of a lot less peaceful.

pick your poison, leon. you wanted him to cut the contact, but this is how it ends up otherwise.]

[It's.... definitely a lot less peaceful. Still, Leon's going to take it. It's less awkward and terrible than being all tangled up in Stahn's limbs.

Absolutely.

Better.

So Leon's just going to lie there and breathe. Stare at the ceiling. Try not to be too uncomfortable. He can feel his heart rate start to slow, and takes in a slow, steady breath. Okay. This is fine. This is absolutely fine.

...Except.

He's not comfortable like this. Now that his heart rate is slowing, he's realized that he's got a very uncomfortable little portion of the bed like this, with Stahn sprawled over the majority of it. On top of that, he's loud, and... it's cold. Now that Stahn isn't curled around him and radiating heat, Leon's finding that he's actually starting to shiver.

... This is ridiculous. But even so, he's not going to get to sleep like this. And...he's not comfortable, and he's exhausted, and so slowly, sleepily, he shifts towards Stahn a little, and carefully shifts to rest his cheek on Stahn's shoulder. There's nothing all too affectionate in the gesture, he thinks; he's cold and Stahn is warm, and this way he'll be warmer and more comfortable, without feeling like he's going to fall off the bed. That's all there is to it.

It's comfortable. And Stahn is warm, and despite himself, Leon relaxes a little more. ...This is fine. It's fine, because he'll wake up earlier than the others and they can pretend like this never happened.]

[stahn remains none the wiser to this as it happens, at first not moving at all. but the innate knowledge someone is closer to him remains from the days he did this for lilith, so it doesn't take long for him to shift accordingly.

it isn't much movement; he isn't draping limbs all over leon again. it's just a slight enough movement to give leon a more comfortable place to rest his head. for now, stahn has one arm above his head on the pillow, the other just resting on his stomach. the shift eases his snoring a little, quieting down, though there is a slightly choked cough he emits in that shift before taking up being totally peaceful again. but hey, at least he just emits warmth, like a human space-heater, right?]

[It...is more comfortable. And now it's quiet. And he's warm.

Stahn seems to be utterly knocked out, too, which means that Leon doesn't have to worry, right? He can just...rest for a short period of time, wake up, and pretend like this never happened.

Perfect.

And so, quietly, Leon just relaxes, eyes sliding shut slowly. This...is strangely fine, and he's not going to consider it too strongly any longer. He needs to get some sleep, and so he will, finally drifting off and feeling strangely relaxed now that he is.]

[once leon's asleep, stahn will remain like this for a long while; it's comfortable enough this way on it's own, after all.

but no one position is golden to sleep in for that long, so stahn turns on his side. he does so slowly and gently, that awareness someone is sleeping close not totally lost on him. in doing this, he ends up closer to leon. his head lightly resting against the crook of stahn's neck, and an arm draped lightly over leon's chest.

it's warm and cozy. and stahn is content to remain like this for a while, sleeping peacefully without a single care, or even any real awareness of what's going on. this is all muscle memory that remains.]

[Stahn is careful with his movements, and Leon was tired after that entire mess--so it is that despite how light of a sleeper he generally is, he only shifts a little (towards Stahn, even) before he settles again, drifting right back into a deeper sleep.

He needed the sleep. He hasn't slept well on this journey, of course; either they were traveling, which meant they had to all be wary and careful, they were moving by boat, in which case the motion sickness made it quite hard to sleep at all, or he just wasn't comfortable.

But now...he feels safe and warm. So he doesn't stir at all, thoroughly asleep.]

[this is the position where stahn remains for quite a long while.

and then sometime before sunrise, he stirs awake. it isn't the sort of waking that will lead him into his day, merely the kind one has after a dream, or while rolling over. and that's why stahn is left with groggy surprise when he realizes...

this isn't how things were intended. the person in his arms isn't lilith; he's not a kid taking care of his little sister. what.

obviously, he's a little surprised. (okay, a lot surprised.) but he does his best not to move at all as his vision clears a bit. leon. it's leon, and he's sleeping so peacefully this way. how... how did it happen? stahn isn't sure, but he's sure if leon was awake, there's no way this would have come to pass. still, though... it's warm, it's comfortable. leon himself looks at peace, something he never does when he's awake.

it's nice.

it's nice enough that stahn's breath hitches slightly from the pleasant surprise. it makes him feel even more warm, and there's absolutely no way he would want to wake leon from such a serene looking rest. a small, warm smile forms on stahn's lips as he scoots a little closer, sharing the warmth a bit more before he closes his eyes. he has no idea how long it'll last, and half-expects to be woken back up by way of leon punching him or something... but he's quick to embrace it as it is, because leon clearly needs it, for one reason or another.

isn't that the least he can do for a friend?]

Edited 2015-11-02 03:07 (UTC)

[Stahn is incredibly careful, and so he manages to not wake Leon up. The minute movements of his surprise and his moving towards Leon do cause him to shift a little in his sleep, but it's only to curl in towards that source of warmth, thus curling in towards Stahn, head tucked even closer to Stahn's chest.

Definitely things that would never have happened if Leon was awake.

But either way, he is legitimately serene like this. He's curled up in his rest, a stark contrast from the way that he almost tries to overcompensate and take up more space than he actually fills when awake. Rather, when he's asleep like this, when he feels entirely safe, there's no tenseness to be found in it. It's different from the nights on the road, where he would sleep curled up in his cloak but tense, hand eternally near to Chaltier. No, this is the only sort of comfortable sleep that could be obtained by someone who isn't dwelling on worries or stresses or dangers.

For what's probably the first time since this journey started, he really is at peace, and so his only response to Stahn's movements is that slight movement in turn, and then a quiet, contented sigh.

~~No really, who is this person~~.]

[it isn't something that's slipped past him, of course. on those rare nights where leon falls asleep before him, he could always feel the tension that surrounds leon. he knows, he understands—a lot rides on their journey. it's stressful for all of them in some ways, and more so for leon because he's someone so revered for seinegald's military, alongside being the son of someone so important. but the others all seem to rest better than he does.

this is rare.

it's a rare and precious moment, one stahn knows he can't disturb. when leon moves closer to him, stahn can feel his heart pound a little faster—he isn't sure why, but he chalks it up to surprise and the fact that he's still half-asleep. it's so warm, it's cozy and comfortable and so many things he isn't sure he'd have ever expected from leon, but he doesn't dislike it at all. that's why he keeps his grip as it his, but lowers his head so it's closer to leon. it's strange and comfortable, and while he knows it's a fleeting moment that'll likely never come to pass again, he wants to bask in it quietly.

leon is so peaceful, so serene, so at rest. he can feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes, and it's like a soothing rhythm. if somehow, this helps leon get one good night of sleep on this journey, then it's absolutely worthwhile. that's what stahn tells himself, what he convinces himself this position is for.]

[With how careful Stahn is being, Leon doesn't shift again; he's firmly and soundly asleep, tucked as close to Stahn as before, and showing no signs of needing or wanting to move away from that comforting, enjoyable warmth.

It's really a wonderful night's sleep.

Leon can't remember the last time he thought that, really, upon waking up. He has a lot on his shoulders at all times, but especially now; he doesn't sleep to rest well, he sleeps so he can keep going. But when he languidly stirs a few contented hours later, it's feeling warm, safe and comfortable.

... Odd, really, that he feels so bizarrely satisfied.

It takes the events of the night before some time to work their way back to the front of his mind. Instead, the first hint that something is off are Stahn's gentle breaths--far, far too close to him. His eyes snap open at that, at which point he realizes that that would be because Stahn is far, far too close to him (or, more accurately he'll realize later, it's because Leon is the one who is tucked too close to Stahn), and that's when he immediately shifts to get away from Stahn.

Because he's not barnacled to him like he was before, Leon is able to pull away, but he managed to forget just how small the bed is; by moving that far away from Stahn that abruptly, Leon managed to tumble right out of the bed and onto the floor.

At least it saves Stahn the pain of a punch or worse, which Leon would have absolutely delivered if not for his sudden surprise at finding himself on the floor.

Ugh.

(It was a really nice moment while it lasted.)]

[at the very least, leon doesn't have to be too embarrassed by most of that. stahn's still in a pretty unconscious state, and though he stirs and makes a bit of a face at the comfortable warmth pulling away from him.

it isn't enough to wake stahn though, not yet, at least. he's slept better than he has in a while too, but his natural body clock is not set to wake this early. so while leon is having his small conniption of their cuddly night of sleep, stahn is rolling over, thoughtlessly reaching for the comforter to pull over his head. warmth... more warmth to replace what was lost by leon getting out of bed.

leon is mostly alone in this crisis, even if the sound of leon hitting the floor is silently amusing dymlos. gotta love those swordians judging their masters life choices....]

[Shut up, Dymlos!!!

Leon does glance suspiciously over at the Swordians--Dymlos and Chaltier both, but upon not hearing a peep out of either of them, he dusts himself off and stands and pretend none of that ever happened. He clears his throat a little awkwardly, even.

And then fixes his hair, even as slowly he glances at Stahn despite himself. He remembers the night, naturally, now that he's awake; despite himself, he blushes a little because that was so much closeness and touch, to the point that it was almost too intimate for someone like him, and... yet even so, he can't really bring himself to be too upset over it.

He's not sure why, and he doesn't want to dig into it too much. Instead, he makes a face at Stahn dragging the blankets over him more, but it really is early yet, so Stahn doesn't have to wake up yet. And Leon is feeling...strangely rested and relaxed, now that his ruffled feathers have settled and it's clear nobody saw his spill. And so, with a sigh, he reaches out to tug the comforter over Stahn properly, before he moves to instead prepare for the day.

He thinks after all of that, he needs some fresh air to get his thoughts in order--so he'll leave Stahn to snooze the early morning away, while he leaves the room, shutting the door with a strange amount of care.

And he doesn't even really know why, but maybe that's something else he can ponder alongside the rest of his very jumbled, tumultuous thoughts.]

[The entire journey, Leon had a few simple goals. Stop Elraine. Put things back to rights. Make sure history wasn't changed. Make sure Kyle didn't get his fool self killed. And then, he could go right back to being dead.

(Saving Stahn was...well, it was a thing he couldn't think about too hard, because there was the chance that fixing the timeline wouldn't put things entirely aright, and Leon can't handle the thought.

No, it's better if he just doesn't think about Stahn at all.)

And, with their success, he could disappear, and go right back to his rest, because after that entire added journey, he's quite frankly exhausted. The original group was so much easier to deal with than these kids (things he never thought he'd ever think), and, well... he's done his part. Now, of all times, he has to have done enough. Because now, he doesn't know what more he could possibly have done to fix the wrongs he did.

He disappears, and it's a relief--

And so he falls on his ass when he doesn't, in fact, go back to being dead and finds himself standing suddenly in a field instead. It's far from his most elegant moment, but for a moment all he can do is remain there in the dirt, staring around himself with wide eyes. This isn't right. This isn't what was supposed to happen, and when he does push himself up, brushing himself off vaguely, he doesn't really notice how the people in this quaint place are whispering and staring (and it's probably because he's still wearing the stupid dragonbone mask, isn't it... ah well, for now it'll stay).

He really has no choice but to walk, expression distinctly unamused--and, beneath it all, a little lost (what is he supposed to do now?)--and try to figure out why this place is so familiar. Of course, he doesn't really connect the pieces until he sees the orphanage; then he understands the familiarity, and realizes where he is, and then he turns on his heel immediately and abruptly to try to retreat. He can't stay here. Here, of all places, is where he can't be. He can't let Rutee recognize him. He doesn't know if Kyle would remember, or Loni, and that's unacceptable either way.

(And if this is a fixed timeline, he can't see Stahn again. He just can't, and he'd promised himself he wouldn't think about him and there he was, thinking about him.)

This is the hastiest retreat a blindingly obvious masked man has ever made, head down and shoulders hunched (and you should really look where you're going, Leon).]

[of course, stahn is none the wiser to any of this.

per rutee's request, he'd headed into the center of town to buy a few things for the kids—bread and a few other baked good, and some meat for a stew. it's nothing spectacular, leaving aside the fact that he got a good deal.

and of course, he's excited to get back to the orphanage to tell rutee just that. old habits die hard, after all.]

Ruteeeeeeeee! [he calls out, looking towards the building—it's something of a fruitless effort though, because she's too far away to actually hear him calling. oh well, it just means he has to pick up his pace a little, right? sure, except he's so eager to do that and get where he's going that he doesn't even realize that there is a dumb kid wearing a dragon skull in his path. which is why stahn crashes right into him, sending a closed over paper bag filled with beef to the ground at leon's feet.]

Ah, sorry, sorry! I guess I should have been looking where I was going. [he's quick to offer an apology before even looking at the person he walked into. he's also quick to bend down to pick up what he dropped.

...of course, standing back up with his taller height and a little less shock of having crashed into someone means he can't help but look at the poor victim as he stands upright.

but.

but....

skull mask or not, there's no mistaking the eyes behind that mask, and stahn's own eyes widen.

it can't be, right?]

[If Leon ever doubted that the world was out to get him, this would just about cinch the deal, really. The luck of it, that the person who would slam right into him would be--

...Well, it's Stahn. There's no doubting that. He's older, of course, but he's so much the same Stahn that it makes Leon's heart ache and his throat close up. Learning that Stahn had been killed at the hands of that psychopath had been enough to ruin Leon for a time, even if he hadn't shown it; he couldn't have, not when he was looking after a bunch of clueless kids. But it was true. A world without Stahn was a world that just wasn't right, and he couldn't accept it. He had to fix it.

There had never been any other option.

But even so, he never expected to see him again, and here he is, standing there as easily as that, with the same bright eyes and the same messy, pain-in-the-ass hair, and for a moment, Leon thinks he might be swallowing back tears, and the thought bothers him less than it would have before this journey.

He reaches up to shift his mask back into place, ducking his head more, as if that will help. Maybe it will. He needs it to, because... as happy, purely, entirely elated as he has to acknowledge he is to see Stahn again, breathing and alive and as well as could be, he can't be here. This meeting can't happen. He... he just can't.

He clears his throat, and his voice wobbles only a little, though he tries to keep it pitched low.]

...Excuse me. I have somewhere to be. [He has nowhere to be--the lie could almost make him laugh. Now, more than ever, wearing an identity that doesn't exist and living in a world that hates who he is, he has nowhere to be.

But he needs to be anywhere but here.]

[somehow, every impossibility seems to be confirmed in just a moment's time. the look in this man's eyes screams recognition, and when it's followed by averting his gaze and trying to escape, it only furthers the notion.

stahn feels like the entire world around him has come to a halt. the distant sound of the kids playing at the orphanage, dogs barking in the distance, the chatter of passers-by—none of them reach stahn's ears at all. how can they, when he's being faced with something that seems so impossible; he isn't dreaming right?

maybe it's been eighteen years, but there's no way, not in a million years that he would ever mistake the voice he's hearing, no matter what attempts are made to mask it. it's unmistakeable. stahn finds himself clutching tighter at the bag he carries, squeezing it a bit closer to his chest. it's strange, all of this. he feels like he's been transported back to then, back to being 19 and so lost, because someone so dear to him had left forever.

only now, it's the opposite. someone he thought lost forever, someone who should be an important member of his family is standing right there. right in front of him, and looking to get away.

how?

how can this be possible?]

L... Leon? [he asks, voice small and unsure. no matter how sure he is that the boy in front of him absolutely has to be leon magnus, he asks anyway, because it just... shouldn't be possible.]

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Page 8 of 95

Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron | 071

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judas' clothes are stupid pass it on

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