[stahn says, and a bit of that hot-blooded fire burns in his voice. the hurt is obvious, though maybe now it's a for different reasons than it had been before leon's rebuttal.
he hears the words leon is saying—he hears a poorly uttered set of words that seem to say that it's a burden on him to remember these last couple of months. he hears words that indicate that he's going to actively try to forget because they've been a hassle for him. but that's not true.
stahn knows it's not true. he knows that, because if leon has learned anything from them... it means they're not a hassle to him. he wouldn't learn lessons from people who didn't care, because he wouldn't even take them into consideration to begin with. how can it be true when leon is gripping his hand as if to keep him from pulling away? no, he knows that leon has to care a lot, because if he didn't, he would have pulled away and ended the conversation. he would have called it ridiculous. he wouldn't have even allowed this to escalate in the first place.
he'd misunderstood where those hurtful words were directed. they weren't because leon didn't care and wanted for forget. they're because he cares—because he cares a lot, and he doesn't want to be hurt by it. because he doesn't want to keep living a lonely life, even though it's all he's ever known before. for a moment, stahn chides himself mentally for mixing that up. normally, he wouldn't have but the mix of things being so different along with the wheels in his own head turning to try and figure out what he feels left him a bit selfish for a moment.
no, he's definitely right about this. so he grips leon's hand tightly and turns to look at him. the intensity remains in his eyes, but it's less angry than a moment ago. he's determined now, determined to say the things that everyone seems to let slide, and the things leon always tries to walk away from before someone can say them.]
Don't forget, Leon. Don't forget that even if we're not on this mission, those things matter. What happened mattered. Even if we're separated, remember how many people care about you. Remember how many people would come to fight at your side if you ask them to. Remember who would miss you every day that you're not there with him. Remember all of us.
[not just stahn himself—but everyone. rutee, philia, mary, woodrow, chelsea, kongman, and even johnny. not just chaltier as his sword, but also dymlos, atwight and clemente. they're all important; they all care.]
You won't be alone, even if we're not there with you. When you fight... I'm always at your back to make sure you don't get it, Leon. I won't let it happen, no matter how far away I am. We're friends, no matter what you say... and I like that.
["and i like you," but the words get caught in his throat, because he's already said so much. he isn't afraid to say it, but he knows all of his thoughts are just spilling out in an attempt to force leon to realize that he's only hurting himself more by trying to refuse everything and everyone all the time.]
no subject
[stahn says, and a bit of that hot-blooded fire burns in his voice. the hurt is obvious, though maybe now it's a for different reasons than it had been before leon's rebuttal.
he hears the words leon is saying—he hears a poorly uttered set of words that seem to say that it's a burden on him to remember these last couple of months. he hears words that indicate that he's going to actively try to forget because they've been a hassle for him. but that's not true.
stahn knows it's not true. he knows that, because if leon has learned anything from them... it means they're not a hassle to him. he wouldn't learn lessons from people who didn't care, because he wouldn't even take them into consideration to begin with. how can it be true when leon is gripping his hand as if to keep him from pulling away? no, he knows that leon has to care a lot, because if he didn't, he would have pulled away and ended the conversation. he would have called it ridiculous. he wouldn't have even allowed this to escalate in the first place.
he'd misunderstood where those hurtful words were directed. they weren't because leon didn't care and wanted for forget. they're because he cares—because he cares a lot, and he doesn't want to be hurt by it. because he doesn't want to keep living a lonely life, even though it's all he's ever known before. for a moment, stahn chides himself mentally for mixing that up. normally, he wouldn't have but the mix of things being so different along with the wheels in his own head turning to try and figure out what he feels left him a bit selfish for a moment.
no, he's definitely right about this. so he grips leon's hand tightly and turns to look at him. the intensity remains in his eyes, but it's less angry than a moment ago. he's determined now, determined to say the things that everyone seems to let slide, and the things leon always tries to walk away from before someone can say them.]
Don't forget, Leon. Don't forget that even if we're not on this mission, those things matter. What happened mattered. Even if we're separated, remember how many people care about you. Remember how many people would come to fight at your side if you ask them to. Remember who would miss you every day that you're not there with him. Remember all of us.
[not just stahn himself—but everyone. rutee, philia, mary, woodrow, chelsea, kongman, and even johnny. not just chaltier as his sword, but also dymlos, atwight and clemente. they're all important; they all care.]
You won't be alone, even if we're not there with you. When you fight... I'm always at your back to make sure you don't get it, Leon. I won't let it happen, no matter how far away I am. We're friends, no matter what you say... and I like that.
["and i like you," but the words get caught in his throat, because he's already said so much. he isn't afraid to say it, but he knows all of his thoughts are just spilling out in an attempt to force leon to realize that he's only hurting himself more by trying to refuse everything and everyone all the time.]