[okay, so maybe he is a little ridiculous, but that's part of who he is. but still when he says those words, there's a little more light in stahn's eyes. it's just a quiet reminder that he does these things because he's himself, because he's stahn aileron.
and maybe he's a little lighter because even if he backpedaled a bit on his words, he knows what leon is trying to say. it's ridiculous to ask that question, because he believes in stahn. that's what he's trying to say, and that's enough. it's enough for stahn, because he understands the implication of that. and he understands how hard this has to be for leon.]
I don't need you to say it, Leon. [he doesn't need that. he doesn't need leon to stretch that far outside of his comfort zone.
the words themselves don't matter, right? so he's soft in what he says now. it's more assuring, because he knows it isn't easy. because he knows he's probably asking too much of leon. there's just so much that stahn wants to convey though. he's just... he's not really sure how to either. so all he can do is just carry on and be himself.]
But if you do, then... [then what? believe his words? take everything he says as the truth? stop pushing him away so much? stop trying to keep him at arm's length when he doesn't want to?
stahn doesn't know how to follow that statement up. he's not good at this either—things like words. things like really knowing how to bring comfort to someone else who comes from a situation he can hardly even fathom?
he draws in a quiet breath, looking at leon with a gentle expression. is warm—like stahn always is. he reaches for leon's other hand too, because... well, he doesn't know. it just seems like the right thing to do right now. he doesn't need leon's words, but he needs something else right now, but it's something he thinks he may have to put forth first.]
Remember what I said already. You won't be alone, even if I'm not there. And when you need me to be there, I'll find a way. [it's the only kind of comfort and assurance he can bring leon. and maybe it's unnecessary. maybe it's ridiculous, but he wants to say it. he wants to drill it into leon's head how much he means it.
it's not as if he wants these things to end either. stahn hates knowing that when this mission is over, everyone will go their separate ways, and he won't get to see them unless they make an effort, or things work out, or something goes wrong. it weighs on his mind too, but rather than feel abandoned, it's just lonely.
he'll say the things leon can't, and he'll put forth the effort that leon won't, so long as he can stop pushing it away actively.
there's more he should say, or maybe some way to offset how strange this conversation is, but stahn refrains. right now he's being very raw, very honest... with himself and with leon, in a way that surprises even himself. but it's also something stahn feels strongly enough about not to hesitate.
leon may feel vulnerable, but stahn does too—this is new territory in every respect.]
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[okay, so maybe he is a little ridiculous, but that's part of who he is. but still when he says those words, there's a little more light in stahn's eyes. it's just a quiet reminder that he does these things because he's himself, because he's stahn aileron.
and maybe he's a little lighter because even if he backpedaled a bit on his words, he knows what leon is trying to say. it's ridiculous to ask that question, because he believes in stahn. that's what he's trying to say, and that's enough. it's enough for stahn, because he understands the implication of that. and he understands how hard this has to be for leon.]
I don't need you to say it, Leon. [he doesn't need that. he doesn't need leon to stretch that far outside of his comfort zone.
the words themselves don't matter, right? so he's soft in what he says now. it's more assuring, because he knows it isn't easy. because he knows he's probably asking too much of leon. there's just so much that stahn wants to convey though. he's just... he's not really sure how to either. so all he can do is just carry on and be himself.]
But if you do, then... [then what? believe his words? take everything he says as the truth? stop pushing him away so much? stop trying to keep him at arm's length when he doesn't want to?
stahn doesn't know how to follow that statement up. he's not good at this either—things like words. things like really knowing how to bring comfort to someone else who comes from a situation he can hardly even fathom?
he draws in a quiet breath, looking at leon with a gentle expression. is warm—like stahn always is. he reaches for leon's other hand too, because... well, he doesn't know. it just seems like the right thing to do right now. he doesn't need leon's words, but he needs something else right now, but it's something he thinks he may have to put forth first.]
Remember what I said already. You won't be alone, even if I'm not there. And when you need me to be there, I'll find a way. [it's the only kind of comfort and assurance he can bring leon. and maybe it's unnecessary. maybe it's ridiculous, but he wants to say it. he wants to drill it into leon's head how much he means it.
it's not as if he wants these things to end either. stahn hates knowing that when this mission is over, everyone will go their separate ways, and he won't get to see them unless they make an effort, or things work out, or something goes wrong. it weighs on his mind too, but rather than feel abandoned, it's just lonely.
he'll say the things leon can't, and he'll put forth the effort that leon won't, so long as he can stop pushing it away actively.
there's more he should say, or maybe some way to offset how strange this conversation is, but stahn refrains. right now he's being very raw, very honest... with himself and with leon, in a way that surprises even himself. but it's also something stahn feels strongly enough about not to hesitate.
leon may feel vulnerable, but stahn does too—this is new territory in every respect.]
That's what friends do.