[Sitting like this, with both of his hands in Stahn's own (and when did that happen, when did they end up sitting like this?) and meeting each other's eyes like this? There's a sort of tension in the air that Leon doesn't understand--it isn't their usually sort of argumentative tension, but something else entirely. Leon's not equipped to process it, not really, but... it makes it hard to breathe, and leaves his heart beating fast.
Of course, the words are... they're ridiculous and nonsensical. He won't be alone? He will be alone. Stahn will be there when he needs him? There's no way. That's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. He can't--
But he does.
He believes it. When it comes from Stahn like this, in this moment, in the position they're in... he believes all of it.
And it's terrifying. Is this what faith in someone feels like? It feels like Stahn is asking him to take such an enormous risk, and yet... because it's Stahn, Leon feels like he's willing to do it, and isn't that what's scariest of all? Ultimately, Leon can only look away, finding Stahn's gaze to be too much to handle, fingers tightening on Stahn's hands not out of some sort of affection, but more out of something like fear. In this case, Stahn is a lifeline, and Leon can't let go.]
I don't... [He breathes out, a slow, shaky breath.] I don't want this.
[That's what he says, but--it's said weakly, because he knows it's too late. He may not have wanted it, but this is what he has now, and there's no going back.]
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Of course, the words are... they're ridiculous and nonsensical. He won't be alone? He will be alone. Stahn will be there when he needs him? There's no way. That's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. He can't--
But he does.
He believes it. When it comes from Stahn like this, in this moment, in the position they're in... he believes all of it.
And it's terrifying. Is this what faith in someone feels like? It feels like Stahn is asking him to take such an enormous risk, and yet... because it's Stahn, Leon feels like he's willing to do it, and isn't that what's scariest of all? Ultimately, Leon can only look away, finding Stahn's gaze to be too much to handle, fingers tightening on Stahn's hands not out of some sort of affection, but more out of something like fear. In this case, Stahn is a lifeline, and Leon can't let go.]
I don't... [He breathes out, a slow, shaky breath.] I don't want this.
[That's what he says, but--it's said weakly, because he knows it's too late. He may not have wanted it, but this is what he has now, and there's no going back.]