[the fear is obvious; stahn isn't so oblivious as to not realize that much. even though he can feel leon's grip tighten, there's a tension to it that indictaes something so much more than simply embracing it.

it feels contradictory to leon's words. he says he doesn't want this, but he holds on so tightly that stahn knows it isn't true. he can't believe in something like that, and he won't accept it, either. it's tiring, having leon push him away all the time when it's clear he's doing it because of his own inability to accept things.

stahn may be patient. he may be kind and understanding, and he may not try to force things on leon, but he has limits too. he'd never press if he knew this is something leon didn't really want from him, and that's why he takes this so slow and tries to ease him into every change that can possibly be made. but that doesn't mean he'll let things slide, or that he'll actively let leon refuse him. it's still a delicate situation, but things are coming to the point where nothing can really be denied—there's a lot more to what they're experiencing right now than can ever be put into words.]

Then let go. [what?] If you don't want this, you can let go.

[but the reason he says this is because he knows leon doesn't want to. even if he lets go, he's lying—stahn honestly believes that. but he'll always respect leon's needs, so if he does loosen his grip and pull back, he'll just... find a new way to do it, one that doesn't overwhelm leon's sensibilities.] But I'm not going to do it first. I'm not going to let go, Leon.

[he just can't do it. he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to let go of leon at all.]