[He was acting on impulse and instinct, and honestly, at first when he sees Stahn's cheeks flush that pink, he can only really feel smug. It feels like he did something right there, and he's tired of being the one off-balance, the one who doesn't understand things and needs to be walked through them. It happened time and time again with the party and their speeches of friendship and kindness and altruism, all things Leon doesn't trust or believe in or understand.
Stahn had always wanted him to understand.
But here and now, Leon understands this, and now it's Stahn who's off-balance, and he's satisfied by that. Leon has never claimed to be a good person, after all. There's enough smugness in him to be pleased even by things that he probably shouldn't be.
Stahn's tone, though...
Leon wasn't sure if Stahn would reciprocate, ironically enough, despite how warm and attached he'd always acted--because Stahn was that way with everyone. He loved everyone, he cared for everyone, and...so Leon hadn't even considered it at all.
Whether Stahn would agree with this, whether he'd want this, whether he feels the same way in the end... Leon just didn't think about it when taking his actions. But there's undeniably so much warmth in Stahn's tone and words, and for a moment, Leon's silent, overwhelmed by it.
And then the embarrassment and sheepishness kicks in. He refuses to drop Stahn's hand, though he does look away somewhat, expression still fixed in that determined look--though now tinged with a hint of uncertainty, lending a certain mulishness to it. He won't say that what he's done is wrong no matter what happens, that much Leon has decided.]
I... have made my decision, and I don't intend to take it back.
[What he's done, what he just demonstrated... he can't take that back, and he won't. Quietly, he clears his throat.]
Naturally, that... is all I can do about the matter.
[He can't make Stahn's choice for him, even if Stahn was practically confessing to him before--well, he hasn't quite picked up on that, because Leon's not always the best at words. As Stahn had noted before... to Leon, words can be falsified, faked, or exaggerated. They're treacherous, and he doesn't always listen to them or believe in them. His confession was actions first, and then words, and for Stahn.... well, he'll wait until he has complete confirmation before he thinks any further on this.
But one thing he knows for certain is that he can never be ashamed of what he's chosen and what he feels--not now that he finally understands it, and it finally feels right.]
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Stahn had always wanted him to understand.
But here and now, Leon understands this, and now it's Stahn who's off-balance, and he's satisfied by that. Leon has never claimed to be a good person, after all. There's enough smugness in him to be pleased even by things that he probably shouldn't be.
Stahn's tone, though...
Leon wasn't sure if Stahn would reciprocate, ironically enough, despite how warm and attached he'd always acted--because Stahn was that way with everyone. He loved everyone, he cared for everyone, and...so Leon hadn't even considered it at all.
Whether Stahn would agree with this, whether he'd want this, whether he feels the same way in the end... Leon just didn't think about it when taking his actions. But there's undeniably so much warmth in Stahn's tone and words, and for a moment, Leon's silent, overwhelmed by it.
And then the embarrassment and sheepishness kicks in. He refuses to drop Stahn's hand, though he does look away somewhat, expression still fixed in that determined look--though now tinged with a hint of uncertainty, lending a certain mulishness to it. He won't say that what he's done is wrong no matter what happens, that much Leon has decided.]
I... have made my decision, and I don't intend to take it back.
[What he's done, what he just demonstrated... he can't take that back, and he won't. Quietly, he clears his throat.]
Naturally, that... is all I can do about the matter.
[He can't make Stahn's choice for him, even if Stahn was practically confessing to him before--well, he hasn't quite picked up on that, because Leon's not always the best at words. As Stahn had noted before... to Leon, words can be falsified, faked, or exaggerated. They're treacherous, and he doesn't always listen to them or believe in them. His confession was actions first, and then words, and for Stahn.... well, he'll wait until he has complete confirmation before he thinks any further on this.
But one thing he knows for certain is that he can never be ashamed of what he's chosen and what he feels--not now that he finally understands it, and it finally feels right.]