[stahn responds with no hesitation, there's barely enough time for him to think about it. it's something he needs leon to know, because if it's being called into question...
well, stahn wants to make sure there's never any room for doubt.]
Emilio... [he starts, and maybe how serious stahn is about this can be indicated in just the fact that he refers to leon by that name. that name, reserved only for private quarters, only for the most intimate of moments. he's gotten used to being able to say it, though stahn is still pretty choosy about when he feels it best.
and right now... right now is that time for him.]
As— as long as you come home, that's enough. [he fumbles on his words a bit as he tries to say it. he's not always the best at directly addressing his feeling in words either; it's easier to just hug leon or kiss him chastely to convey things. but sometimes words are necessary, and now is a time when he thinks that physical gestures would cheapen what he feels about it.] Everything else... we can figure it out as we go. We can learn together but...
[whether it's figure out how to put their feelings into words, how to pursue the goals they have in life, or just what comes next when things get heated—they're things that can be sorted a little at a time. stahn's not in a rush, even if some things definitely make him excited or eager, he'll always maintain the boundaries they need without complaint, because he wants to make sure leon is always comfortable with how things progress.]
You have to come home for that. [which is the underlined point here. stahn doesn't want to think about the what ifs. he doesn't want to think about leon being killed in action, even if that possibility is real, and he doesn't want to think about a situation where he'll never see leon again for the rest of his life.
that's terrifying. so every other thing can wait. he'll deal with leon's fussing, or how many times leon will get out of bed before he's away enough to roll over and give a good morning kiss. he'll deal with the long missions, with people in the city whispering about them curiously. he'll deal with walls and boundaries and sometimes feeling too stupid and incapable to be at leon's side. none of that matters as long as leon comes home at the end of the day, or the end of a mission and they can just lounge together and unwind before crawling into their shared bed and going to sleep every night.]
no subject
[stahn responds with no hesitation, there's barely enough time for him to think about it. it's something he needs leon to know, because if it's being called into question...
well, stahn wants to make sure there's never any room for doubt.]
Emilio... [he starts, and maybe how serious stahn is about this can be indicated in just the fact that he refers to leon by that name. that name, reserved only for private quarters, only for the most intimate of moments. he's gotten used to being able to say it, though stahn is still pretty choosy about when he feels it best.
and right now... right now is that time for him.]
As— as long as you come home, that's enough. [he fumbles on his words a bit as he tries to say it. he's not always the best at directly addressing his feeling in words either; it's easier to just hug leon or kiss him chastely to convey things. but sometimes words are necessary, and now is a time when he thinks that physical gestures would cheapen what he feels about it.] Everything else... we can figure it out as we go. We can learn together but...
[whether it's figure out how to put their feelings into words, how to pursue the goals they have in life, or just what comes next when things get heated—they're things that can be sorted a little at a time. stahn's not in a rush, even if some things definitely make him excited or eager, he'll always maintain the boundaries they need without complaint, because he wants to make sure leon is always comfortable with how things progress.]
You have to come home for that. [which is the underlined point here. stahn doesn't want to think about the what ifs. he doesn't want to think about leon being killed in action, even if that possibility is real, and he doesn't want to think about a situation where he'll never see leon again for the rest of his life.
that's terrifying. so every other thing can wait. he'll deal with leon's fussing, or how many times leon will get out of bed before he's away enough to roll over and give a good morning kiss. he'll deal with the long missions, with people in the city whispering about them curiously. he'll deal with walls and boundaries and sometimes feeling too stupid and incapable to be at leon's side. none of that matters as long as leon comes home at the end of the day, or the end of a mission and they can just lounge together and unwind before crawling into their shared bed and going to sleep every night.]