[somehow... that doesn't really make it any easier to say what he has to say.]

It's not... that big. I ran into a friend today, and she told me she was getting married. She showed me the ring, and it was really nice! I'm happy for her...

[just in case leon was concerned that stahn wouldn't be happy for a friend making wonderful changes in their life. but it still causes stahn to pause and dip his head, completely sheepish.]

So I was thinking about... what I used to think settling with a family would be like. And us, and...

[he can't say it.

he can't bring himself to say that he's wondering what it would be like to get married to leon. to have a wedding or even just to be married. he's not even thinking that it's something they should or need to do, but the thought of it is in his head now.

but he can't seem to spit it out.]