realpolitik | Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron

Mm! I like it. Or maybe I'm just used to it now?

[he is a bumpkin, after all.]

It's still pretty different than what you have to be used to, though.

[Slowly, the other eyebrow creeps up to join the first as he stares at Stahn. That's...sure not a response he was expecting. Is Stahn...embarrassed? Is that what's happening here?

But what could he possibly be embarrassed about?]

...Doubtful. [Just saying!!! Don't try to pull this shit on him, pls.]

If you do not want to share what you were thinking, say so. Do not make up such flimsy excuses, I do not want to hear them.

[Stahn's going to get the most sardonic look out of Judas from that.

First he was the youngest special snowflake knight ever, and then he died, and then he was brought back to life and jumped timelines to save Stahn and protect Kyle and then he didn't somehow disappear and that's still a mystery to him, but the point is--]

Most experiences are pretty different from what I am used to.

[Like.

All of them.]

Ah—

[stahn just looks even more sheepish now that leon is (rightfully) calling him on his bad excuses. his face flushes a bit more, and he doesn't seem to have it in him to look leon on the eyes.]

Sorry. [he sputters it out awkwardly.]

It's probably not... anything you want to hear about! So... so I thought— [yeah, he's sputtering a lot, honestly. leon managed to startle him that badly, since the idea of being married to leon was kind of an embarrassing enough prospect without actually talking to him about a fantastical situation that is not even on their radar in any way right now.

or ever?

he doesn't know.]

Mm, I know. Maybe that's why I wasn't sure if you'd be able to get used to this.

[it does come from a place of sincere concern. because judas' life had been so full of special circumstances, living a really mundane life like most normal people was going to be an adjustment.

he's just trying to do his part to help judas get used to living this way.]

Calm down.

[Leon has to say that first, tilting his head somewhat quizzically as he does. He's seen Stahn embarrassed about topics (usually lewd ones) and Stahn flustered and sheepish over things (usually silly ones) but he's never seen Stahn splutter quite like this.

What's he supposed to make of this, anyway?]

You do not get to decide what I do or do not want to hear about.

[FOR THE RECORD... he doesn't know what else to address or where to begin otherwise.]

[Well....... admittedly, Judas is less than sure as well, but as far as he's concerned, he has no other choice. There's nothing else he could do, and nowhere else he could want to be.

So--]

... I'll adjust. This...should be fine. This sort of thing--I can do this as well.

[Probably.]

[he's just digging himself deeper into this pit of embarrassment. if nothing else, he does draw in a breath to try and calm down as leon asks.

but he's also keeping his gaze away from leon's at the same time. he might actually explode if he does, because his creative imagination already pondered the idea of leon in a tuxedo.

...which was even more attractive than leon in a suit.

there are so many problems with this situation.]

If... you want to know, I can tell you. [since the implication is that leon isn't too fond of stahn making that choice for him. even if it's true, he doesn't think leon is going to want to hear it.

...but a lot of it really is just the fact that stahn has no idea how to talk about this and think it may be too soon or too much for either of them to really start thinking about or discussing.] But you can't get mad at me if you don't like it.

[yeah, he's putting a condition on this just to cover himself if leon ends up really balking at it.]

We just want it to be as easy for you as it can be.

[stahn is gentle and honest in that statement. he's sure that judas will learn to adjust, because he's the type that can adapt out of necessity to a lot of things.

but he doesn't want it to be difficult or unfulfilling, either.]

So... make sure you tell us if it gets tough or too boring for you. We can figure something out together. [stahn is showing him the routines for now and trying to give him a chance to see what will work best for him, whether that's grocery shopping or cleaning up or helping with kitchen duties. there's a lot to be done all the time, and they want everyone to be able to work to their best strengths, after all.]

[Yeah.... yeah this is going very poorly. Leon's brows furrow at that caveat immediately; he's not fond of agreeing to things like that, nor is he fond of the implication that it's something he might get angry bout.

On the other hand.... he doesn't want Stahn to keep this to himself either.

What a conundrum... After a long moment of silence, Leon huffs a sigh.]

... Fine. I will not be angry with you.

[Probably.]

[Stahn is so gentle and caring. Sincere and warm and loving.

and it's still more than Judas thinks he deserves sometimes.

But for now... well, he won't bring that up, not over something as silly as grocery shopping and chores. That's a debate for another time.]

... Very well then. I will inform you if that is the case, but I do not foresee it being a problem.

[He's not here to be a whiner, Stahn!!]

[somehow... that doesn't really make it any easier to say what he has to say.]

It's not... that big. I ran into a friend today, and she told me she was getting married. She showed me the ring, and it was really nice! I'm happy for her...

[just in case leon was concerned that stahn wouldn't be happy for a friend making wonderful changes in their life. but it still causes stahn to pause and dip his head, completely sheepish.]

So I was thinking about... what I used to think settling with a family would be like. And us, and...

[he can't say it.

he can't bring himself to say that he's wondering what it would be like to get married to leon. to have a wedding or even just to be married. he's not even thinking that it's something they should or need to do, but the thought of it is in his head now.

but he can't seem to spit it out.]

Maybe not, but I just want to be sure. And... Rutee does too.

[which is to say that for as much as stahn cares, rutee did also push to bring up this topic and check on things.]

But it's fine! We trust you, Emilio, so if you're doing okay, we won't push you about it.

[Weird, that.

But Leon's quiet for a bit, listening to Stahn without any clear comprehension. Okay, so he was talking to a friend...which is a thing that happens a lot because Stahn.

and then she's getting married, and naturally Stahn's happy for her, because again, Stahn.

But what does that have to do...with.............]

[..........Oh.

Oh.

It all clicks all of a sudden, and Stahn gets the dubious pleasure of finally shutting Leon up completely. He's speechless, and he doesn't even have it in him to make a comment, snide or otherwise.

No, he's just.

Stunned.

Oh.]

Yes, Rutee has been... [UH....WHAT WORD DOES HE WANT HERE......] ...concerned. [That's nicer than overbearing, right....... being an older sister sure suits her, but he's still not used to being a little brother.]

But naturally I will be fine. If not, I will make changes until I am. I'm capable of that much still, regardless of the difference in our ages now.

[He's still not a child.]

[yeah.

yeah.

there's a reason why stahn finds himself dipping his head from embarrassment. he still has the image of leon in a tux in his mind, which certainly isn't helping either of them. there isn't much in the way of satisfaction to be had from this.

this is so embarrassing, honestly.]

I—I'm not saying we should—! Or anything, just that... [just that what? it would be nice? he wouldn't mind it? maybe it's something they can consider when they've been together longer?

he doesn't even know if leon would want to. and stahn is fine not being married, as long as he can be with leon anyway. so... does it matter? he's not sure.]

I know. We're not trying to treat you like one of the kids, if that's what you're worried about.

[even if judas can be kind of kid-like at times, stahn would never deny that he was always capable as leon, and his achievements as judas were incredible; he was the most mature of the group from what stahn could tell... which is to be expected of him.]

We don't think of it that way at all, and I don't think we ever will, even if that's how the kids may see you.

... Fine.

[He huffs out a breath then, but he's not really irritated at all. They don't treat him like a kid, after all, or Judas would have some seriously choice words for them.

They still respect him, and his boundaries, and that's good enough for him.]

See to it that you do not. My age may not have changed, but I am certainly not a child.

[No.... no, it's too late, Stahn broke him. Leon isn't angry. He's not pitching a fit or reacting that way. But on the other hand, he doesn't really seem capable of reacting at all--he's silent, opening his mouth to speak and failing to make any noise at all and closing it again.

Marriage.

Marriage.

For someone like Leon, who had barely adjusted to the fact that he's in a relationship and who still hasn't managed the word "boyfriend", marriage is just a little beyond his comprehension. Honestly, he looks a little strained, but mostly because he's trying to find a response as Stahn fumbles to reassure him at least a little, but he just

can't

Someone help these children.]

I know, I know. You weren't a kid then, and you're not now.

[stahn does sincerely believe in that, too. his tone seems to say at least that much.]

If you really think I'm doing that just tell me. [he laughs a bit awkwardly, scratching his head.] Sometimes I still do it with Loni too... Sometimes I don't realize it's happening!

[he can't turn the dad off.]

[they're a mess.

but stahn doesn't really know how to deal with the marriage bsod he just caused... this is...

yeah.

yeeeeeeeah.

he can't make eye contact with leon this way, and he takes another minute of sputtering before he lets out a defeated:] I told you that you probably didn't want to hear it...

... You do not. If you ever do, you shall know.

[Seriously, he won't hold back. Stahn's style of dadding is gentle enough and different enough from Hugo that Judas doesn't even realize half the time when he is being dadded, but if that ever sunk in, he'd probably lash out even now.

Some things remain issues, despite how much more stable he is now.]

It is fine, so long as you accept that I am. [An adult, that is..... Judas is fine with just that. He's a bit less demanding than Leon, after all.]

I--

[He's still fumbling for a response, but it's hard--after a moment, he clears his throat, looking away desperately and trying again.

...]

That is, I... you... [??? Someone help him. Finally, he admits almost weakly, and a little vulnerably, especially startling coming from Leon:] ...I've never thought about...something like that before.

[Marriage.. he'd never considered it something for someone like him.]

[maybe the line between stahn being stahn and stahn being dad stahn is just closer than he realizes himself. sometimes loni will point out that he's not a kid anymore, but it never seems to stick.

in any case:]

I do... I never thought of you any other way. Not then... and not now, either. [he's fine with judas being less demanding. it makes getting along a lot easier than it had been back then, after all.

regardless, they're edging in on the shop.] Mm, that's where we get most of our food for the week.

Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron | 071

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