[the feeling of calm is an infectious one—not that stahn is really ever one to need help in relaxing. but for leon to relax in this way, for him to be so calm and near-peaceful sets a different sort of peace within him than usual.
even with the worries that remain and linger, he can't find himself to be focused on it too much. that tension may remain because of just how much stahn wants for leon... but how can that really take the forefront when leon is opening himself a bit to so many things that stahn couldn't even have imagined possible for him?]
Eh? [his own response initially is... hard to put a real tone behind. it's confused, no doubt—but it comes more from the fact that he wasn't expecting the silence to be broken. but he listens to the rest of what leon has to say before doing much else.
he's... what? leon is asking him a question like this right now? maybe it's not so surprising—leon's definitely not the most competent on picking up on the way people feel. he has a lot of gifts, but interpersonal relationships isn't really one of them. that's where stahn excels, even if he doesn't necessarily view it that way.
but regardless, stahn takes a quiet moment to consider it. not because he doesn't know how to answer; it's because he wants to understand why leon is asking it at all. it isn't hard to figure out though, fortunately. leon's starved for this kind of attention, after all. the only affection he got was probably from chal's words, and... marian. marian was definitely a huge factor, but even stahn knows that their relationship was very different. there's not a lot of comparing the affections of someone like marian, who takes care of leon to... well, foreheads touching and hands being held in the quiet of an inn room. stahn's not totally oblivious to things like this.
right. this is new to him. this kind of warmth and closeness, this sort of breathing and the invigorating pound in his chest. some of it is new to stahn too, but he has a pretty inherent understanding of what it means... even if it took experiencing to really 'get' what other people meant when they said it existed. and now it's his responsibility to pass that sort of understanding along to leon.
so he pulls back, just slightly. it's barely enough to be alarming or seem like he's uncomfortable. but he wants to look at leon a little more directly, with just the right sort of focus. his eyes are full of warmth, and his smile probably says a lot without words, but he'll fill in those blanks anyway.]
I'm happy, Leon. [it's simple. it's a very simple explanation for the feeling. this is happy. it's content. it's warmth. it doesn't need a lot of words, and even if it did, stahn isn't the type to have all of that, so he keeps it as simple as he is.]
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even with the worries that remain and linger, he can't find himself to be focused on it too much. that tension may remain because of just how much stahn wants for leon... but how can that really take the forefront when leon is opening himself a bit to so many things that stahn couldn't even have imagined possible for him?]
Eh? [his own response initially is... hard to put a real tone behind. it's confused, no doubt—but it comes more from the fact that he wasn't expecting the silence to be broken. but he listens to the rest of what leon has to say before doing much else.
he's... what? leon is asking him a question like this right now? maybe it's not so surprising—leon's definitely not the most competent on picking up on the way people feel. he has a lot of gifts, but interpersonal relationships isn't really one of them. that's where stahn excels, even if he doesn't necessarily view it that way.
but regardless, stahn takes a quiet moment to consider it. not because he doesn't know how to answer; it's because he wants to understand why leon is asking it at all. it isn't hard to figure out though, fortunately. leon's starved for this kind of attention, after all. the only affection he got was probably from chal's words, and... marian. marian was definitely a huge factor, but even stahn knows that their relationship was very different. there's not a lot of comparing the affections of someone like marian, who takes care of leon to... well, foreheads touching and hands being held in the quiet of an inn room. stahn's not totally oblivious to things like this.
right. this is new to him. this kind of warmth and closeness, this sort of breathing and the invigorating pound in his chest. some of it is new to stahn too, but he has a pretty inherent understanding of what it means... even if it took experiencing to really 'get' what other people meant when they said it existed. and now it's his responsibility to pass that sort of understanding along to leon.
so he pulls back, just slightly. it's barely enough to be alarming or seem like he's uncomfortable. but he wants to look at leon a little more directly, with just the right sort of focus. his eyes are full of warmth, and his smile probably says a lot without words, but he'll fill in those blanks anyway.]
I'm happy, Leon. [it's simple. it's a very simple explanation for the feeling. this is happy. it's content. it's warmth. it doesn't need a lot of words, and even if it did, stahn isn't the type to have all of that, so he keeps it as simple as he is.]