[It's probably a sign of just how much Leon's gotten used to Stahn's physical affection that he can read exactly what that gesture is supposed to signify. He knows that Stahn would be holding onto his hand right now if he could, or more than that--Stahn doesn't have the same shame or hang-ups that Leon does over such things in public (or private for that matter). Leon knows this--
And somehow, even though he doesn't know even now how to handle that sort of endless love and affection, it's comforting in its own way as well. Leon's not capable of reaching for Stahn's hand or holding his hand in public like this. He might never be. But...
At the very least, right now he's able to take the comfort he needs from the knowledge that Stahn will always be Stahn, and he's trying to support Leon the best he can in his own way, while still respecting Leon's boundaries. So Leon's silent, but it's not an uncomfortable silence; if nothing else, he's grateful, even if he doesn't know how to say that either. Still, the gratitude is there, and he hopes it's clear enough in how Leon's able to remain somewhat less tense despite their destination, and able to remain mostly calm.
Of course... well, things can't work out so easily. He knew it would work out this way--he knew Ilene wouldn't be there. He'd known it, because Ilene was with Hugo, and that could only have become even more true with the way the situation had ended up.
He'd known it...but he'd hoped anyway, and he wonders if that's Stahn's influence too, getting him to be more optimistic about something that he never would have been before. Either way, he has no intentions of sticking around when the maids inform them that she's not there, she's off on business--though as soon as they're outside, his shoulders do slump a little.
He knew it would turn out this way, but...he's still somehow disappointed, isn't he?]
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And somehow, even though he doesn't know even now how to handle that sort of endless love and affection, it's comforting in its own way as well. Leon's not capable of reaching for Stahn's hand or holding his hand in public like this. He might never be. But...
At the very least, right now he's able to take the comfort he needs from the knowledge that Stahn will always be Stahn, and he's trying to support Leon the best he can in his own way, while still respecting Leon's boundaries. So Leon's silent, but it's not an uncomfortable silence; if nothing else, he's grateful, even if he doesn't know how to say that either. Still, the gratitude is there, and he hopes it's clear enough in how Leon's able to remain somewhat less tense despite their destination, and able to remain mostly calm.
Of course... well, things can't work out so easily. He knew it would work out this way--he knew Ilene wouldn't be there. He'd known it, because Ilene was with Hugo, and that could only have become even more true with the way the situation had ended up.
He'd known it...but he'd hoped anyway, and he wonders if that's Stahn's influence too, getting him to be more optimistic about something that he never would have been before. Either way, he has no intentions of sticking around when the maids inform them that she's not there, she's off on business--though as soon as they're outside, his shoulders do slump a little.
He knew it would turn out this way, but...he's still somehow disappointed, isn't he?]