[the liking of a ponytail isn't something stahn will forget—even if they aren't pursuing it right now, if it's something that leon wants to see, then he can make that happen. but not now.
not when he feels leon's fingers exploring his chest. not when every touch still manages to give him goosebumps. and certainly not when his hands are in a precarious position. they're about to take a huge step right now, and there is a certain amount of weight to the fact that they're committing to this. what they're going to do... it's everything. to someone like stahn, who is the furthest from anything resembling promiscuous, a person who has an understanding of things but still such firm beliefs in his own morals and dreams... this isn't a step to be taken lightly.
they've fumbled time and time again, and while those times were disappointing—be it from fumbling or from certain admittances—he knows know that neither he nor leon had been ready to take this step. they wanted it, but there's so much more than comes with it in stahn's mind.
it's the purest form and expression of love to him; words don't mean as much as actions after all... something he'd always been taught, but that he never completely understood until he was with leon. leon, who was terrible at putting his feelings into words, but could channel them all into his actions, be them gentle, curious touches or hard, aggressive kisses. and maybe all of that is exactly why even though stahn doesn't hesitate, he takes a moment before he continues.
he needs to suck in a quiet breath and handle this right. passionate, but gentle enough, with no hesitation. he's trying his best to exude a bit of confidence, but his nerves definitely leave his mouth a little dry. even still though... he keeps going, tugging at leon's pants, gently pulling them down a bit of the way; it definitely leaves leon a bit exposed, but he only stops when he gets as far as he can go while he's still being straddled.
and with that, he gives leon a curious look, to make sure he's still okay... but it's also one that is undoubtedly nervous and sheepish, because he knows that if he shifts his gaze, he'll be able to see all of leon.
no subject
not when he feels leon's fingers exploring his chest. not when every touch still manages to give him goosebumps. and certainly not when his hands are in a precarious position. they're about to take a huge step right now, and there is a certain amount of weight to the fact that they're committing to this. what they're going to do... it's everything. to someone like stahn, who is the furthest from anything resembling promiscuous, a person who has an understanding of things but still such firm beliefs in his own morals and dreams... this isn't a step to be taken lightly.
they've fumbled time and time again, and while those times were disappointing—be it from fumbling or from certain admittances—he knows know that neither he nor leon had been ready to take this step. they wanted it, but there's so much more than comes with it in stahn's mind.
it's the purest form and expression of love to him; words don't mean as much as actions after all... something he'd always been taught, but that he never completely understood until he was with leon. leon, who was terrible at putting his feelings into words, but could channel them all into his actions, be them gentle, curious touches or hard, aggressive kisses. and maybe all of that is exactly why even though stahn doesn't hesitate, he takes a moment before he continues.
he needs to suck in a quiet breath and handle this right. passionate, but gentle enough, with no hesitation. he's trying his best to exude a bit of confidence, but his nerves definitely leave his mouth a little dry. even still though... he keeps going, tugging at leon's pants, gently pulling them down a bit of the way; it definitely leaves leon a bit exposed, but he only stops when he gets as far as he can go while he's still being straddled.
and with that, he gives leon a curious look, to make sure he's still okay... but it's also one that is undoubtedly nervous and sheepish, because he knows that if he shifts his gaze, he'll be able to see all of leon.
and that's a pretty huge step for them both.]