Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron | 071

[discard]

[this is a catch-all for boyfriends

here's a list

- ice cream ✓
- seasickness
- stahn sacrifice ✓
- reunion: judas ✓
- taming stahn's hair ✓
- piggyback rides ✓
- just imagine
- family dinner
- why is there pow hammer
- possessive leon
- apologies
- post-barbatos afterlife meeting
- AND MORE]

Comments

[discard]

[It's strange, really. He knows (suspects?) that Stahn is doing this for him. It's not for Stahn's aspirations, or for Stahn to find himself, it's... to stay with him, isn't it? It's almost daunting in a way, because Leon knows for certain that nobody has ever done anything like that for him before. Chal and Marian--they have no choice but to stay with him. But Stahn does have a choice, and Stahn is choosing...

To come with him.

It's such a warm feeling. He... wants Stahn to come with him. Even the thought of Stahn going to Leane for a moment to check on his family feels like it'll be a bit too long, but that's silly. That's obviously necessary, and he'd never keep Stahn from that, so he bites his tongue on it. Stahn will be around. Stahn will be there for him. That's--

... Incredibly clingy of him, isn't it?

Leon's mouth twists a little, but his expression is hard to read; it's pretty clear from his face that he's got a lot of conflicting emotions about this. He's clingy right now, but... he's also found someone who will go to such lengths for him, and it's someone whose company he legitimately enjoys. Basking in the warm that Stahn carries with him everywhere is such a nice feeling, and having that would be...

(What would Hugo think, Leon wonders for a moment.

And then he thinks who cares what that bastard thinks, and it's the first step towards something, though if it's good or bad it's hard to say until it happens.)

Ultimately what he settles on is... pleased, but he can't show Stahn that, so he's quick to turn back towards the fire, burying his chin in his crossed arms to hide his slight smile, which he can feel on his face. It's strange, but... he's been smiling an awful lot for him tonight, hasn't he?]

... Like I said. Do what you want. [Stay with him. He wants this, and it's taking his mind off of that feeling of being left alone at the end of the journey. If he was more aware of things, and less distracted by thoughts of Stahn and the lingering warmth he can still feel from how close they were, he would notice that this hasn't made the foreboding feeling go away--even when it should have.

But for now, he's happy--and that happens preciously little that he's willing to embrace it and not think so hard about it.]

[majinken]

Yeah.

[even though leon turns away, it doesn't seem to make the room feel any more tense. he doesn't get the sense that leon is doing this to close himself off or pull away. he can't say for sure that he's embarrassed or hiding any sort of happiness with the conversation...

but stahn knows for certain that leon's not trying to wall him off in any way. and for him... that makes it okay. whatever it is that leon's doing right now is okay, because he doesn't feel as if he's being pushed away for a decision like this.]

It's what I want. So... I guess it's decided, then. [lazily flopping backwards as he'd been laying much earlier, the smile just widens on his face. even though the foreboding feeling does exist, stahn's determination to overcome the obstacles trumps that. he's happy right now, like this. he's happy with leon's warmth, he's happy with the idea of staying by leon's side. he knows he can do this without giving up on his own dreams and goals, so why wouldn't he? especially when considering that one of his goals is truly for leon to be happy.

he wants leon to smile easily, and wants leon to be able to acknowledge his feelings without fear or reluctance. he knows those things won't come easily, but stahn truly feels that with time, they'll be able to lean on each other with even greater support than they have up until this point. that's important, and it's important enough to leave leane for. he isn't sure any reason before this has ever been as much so—even if not going back because of the mission counts, his leaving to begin with paled in comparison to what he faces now.

maybe that's why he can decide so easily. and while it would nice to hear leon say that he wants stahn around, it's not necessary. it isn't something stahn needs to hear, because he knows the truth. they've both agreed somehow that with their journey ending... separating after coming so far and making such important realizations means things just can't return as they were.

stahn couldn't leave and forget leon. and he's sure that leon wouldn't forget him either. what's happening today, right now... the sights, the scents, the feelings of warmth... they're all being etched into stahn's memory in a way that he could never dream of forgetting. even though right now, turning onto his side doesn't give him much of a view of leon—he's mostly turned away, so it's the image of his back—it's a sight he won't forget, not ever.

he can't remember ever feeling like this, or feeling this sort of happiness. he's a person with a lot of love and joy, but he keeps feeling blown away by how strongly this resonates with him. is this what it means to have a life changing force in your heart? if it is... then he's okay with it. he'll embrace it, so long as leon does as well.]