realpolitik | Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron

[stahn knows these things, so even if the wait sucks sometimes, there's never a moment where he thinks to complain about it. the truth is that knowing they have to take care of the much bigger things first means that stahn knows how to shut off his selfish wants enough to not complain about something like that.

especially because even without doing those things, and even with the worries of the future... he still has moments like this. these are the warmest and most peaceful moments. leon is close to him, quietly taking in the affections and they're talking—communicating. they've come so far in the last few months, and stahn is grateful for that.]

You remembered. [stahn knows it's probably not all that surprising for leon to remember; he's the type who doesn't make promises he doesn't intend to keep, and this is a topic that has been pretty important for a long while now. but for him to bring up that promise once more of his own volition...

...that's pretty important to stahn. promises are a big deal to him as it is; they're the sort of thing he hates to break and always has even since childhood. but what's more is the fact that leon is so intent on not breaking that promise too, even if he only expresses it in simple terms.]

There's a lot I want to see... but it'll be exciting for the first thing to be somewhere you get to see. [it's important to stahn for leon to see his him, after all.] I guess that sounds pretty funny but...

[but... he's not really sure how to frame that aside from saying "it's true," so he just quietly trails off, hoping that leon will understand the implications of just how much he wants leon to see leane, to meet his family and experience that warmth firsthand.]

[Admittedly, this is a difficult conversation for Leon to navigate. He doesn't really know how to handle all of the nuances to it--the fact that going back to Stahn's home carries connotations, the fact that the both of them going to meet Stahn's family has a weight to it that Leon's never quite felt before.

The fact that Stahn's first stop on his travels, in all of his dreams, is to simply bring Leon back to his hometown...

Isn't that a lot?

Quietly, Leon glances down, a small flicker of an expression. He still wants this. He's still entirely willing to go along with this plan, to travel with Stahn to Leane, to see Stahn's family and meet them regardless (or perhaps because of) whatever connotations that action carries....

... But it's quite a lot for him as well, and rathe daunting in its own way, so he really can't help the way he glances away.]

... When the time comes, I won't refuse.

[That much, he can promise and guarantee, no matter how daunting it gets or how uncertain he might be.

He won't refuse, because it's important to Stahn, and it's important to Leon as well, and he's giving that guarantee here and now.]

[leon doesn't laugh at him. he doesn't scoff, or write off the fact that stahn knows how ridiculous his desires probably sound. for leon, who never really had those things, for someone who once seemed so unsure and willing...

leon doesn't seem to be any of those things at all. he doesn't refuse, he doesn't chide—he accepts it. even if he can't look stahn in the eyes while saying just that, stahn can plainly see that it's because there's no reason for leon to do those things he may have once done in the past. even now, when stahn admits that it sounds silly...

it just goes to show things have changed. leon... really wants to do this, doesn't he? maybe he's nervous, because it's such a big step, but he wants to. it's important to them both in some way, even if it's for different reasons.]

I think you'll like it. [stahn will assure after a moment. if he can ease leon's worries and give him more reasons to look forward to that time, it's not a bad thing.] I think you and Gramps would have a lot to talk about... he's got a lot of stories from when he was soldier in Seinegald. Lilith's cooking is really good, too... and there are a lot of nice people in town. It's quiet, and the air is always really nice there.

[it's a nice break from the city life; he thinks leon could find it refreshing. though it does raise a question that stahn winds up pondering aloud.] ...I wonder how Jonathan's doing.

[It's curious, honestly. All of the things Stahn's talking about...they're all entirely foreign to Leon.

His role as an outside special snowflake knight means that he never really had anyone he could talk to about being a soldier for Seinegald. He always had to figure everything out on his own, in part due to his own personality, and in part due to the fact that he truly didn't have anyone else. Having family meals, well...those are getting a little more familiar, but he still knows that he's never experienced anything like what Stahn is talking about with his family.

And he's never been somewhere except for on missions where the air is really nice, and where it's always quiet.

... Quietly, he tilts his head. It sounds...completely new to him, but he's willing to do his best to embrace it when they go.]

... Jonathan?

[In the end, he'll naturally question the part he doesn't understand at all.

???

Is that someone Leon should know...]

[oh, right.

stahn realizes that he's never mentioned jonathan to leon specifically. he came up in conversations with rutee and mary on a couple of occasions, but they'd always been at times when leon wasn't around. and even in these times of peace, it's not something they've spoken about, partially because stahn does get a bit homesick for leane when he talks about his family at length.]

I guess I never told you about him., huh... Jonathan's my...

[the start of the word "friend" rests on his lips so much that it practically fall out of his mouth, but stahn still refrains from saying it. even if he's gotten past much of the worst of leon's judgments, there's still something that makes hesitant, born from knowing that leon may not be able to understand befriending an animal.]

...he's my sheep. [it's a little hard to say like that though, even if he generally has no problem admitting it.] He tends to get himself into trouble, though...

Your...

[Whatever Leon was expecting, it wasn't that. There's a long moment in which Leon stares at Stahn. His...sheep. Jonathan is Stahn's sheep. And he's worried about whether or not Jonathan is doing okay. Of all of the people Stahn could've brought up, he...

Brought up his...sheep....

First it's a quiet snort under his breath. But the more he thinks about it, the more ridiculous it is, and Leon can't help the way he ducks his head, sincerely trying to stifle a laugh.

His sheep... of course. That fits Stahn so well it's ridiculous.]

—Leon?

[his tone is definitely surprised, because it's not the response he could have ever expected. saying it was ridiculous to care so much for a sheep? maybe. a scoff? definitely.

but leon is ducking his head away and stifling a laugh. leon magnus, who so rarely laughs that it's practically foreign for stahn to hear. which for stahn, means he has no idea what to make of it. is the idea of caring so much for a sheep that ridiculous to leon? it's not like stahn doesn't think it's impossible, and he wouldn't be mad at leon for it...

but laughter is just not the response he expected out of it, so he has no idea how to react.]

[God, he was honestly going to try to stifle the laughter and do something of use, but then Stahn sounds so baffled and surprised, and Leon can't help it--he makes a valiant effort to stop himself from laughing, and then he crumbles a little, burying his face in Stahn's shoulder because it's close and present.

But his shoulders are still shaking, so it's pretty obvious he's definitely laughing for real.

It's just... so silly.]

[he's so confused.

even as leon's position shifts and his shoulders quake from the laughter, stahn still isn't sure what's so funny about it. or if the laughter is at him.]

Is Jonathan really that funny...? [stahn definitely sounds puzzled, but at the same time?

leon is laughing. even if it's completely at his expense, leon found something to laugh about, and it's kind of a good feeling even if he still isn't sure what to make of it. he almost wants to know what's so funny so he can have reasons to make sure leon will laugh again. if that laughter continues any longer, stahn will undoubtedly be too endeared not to smile a bit more himself...

he didn't realize how important a single sound could be.]

[Oh god Stahn stop talking, he can't handle this--Leon snorts shortly at that, momentarily managing to stifle his laughter before it sinks in again and then he's laughing all over again. Eventually he does manage to slow and then stop his laughter, trying valiantly to catch his breath, breathing shuddering.

God dammit Stahn.

He can't remember the last time he laughed like that (if he ever laughed like that), and it's as he lifts his head, wiping a tear from his eyes that he can only blink at Stahn, almost placidly.

He has no excuses, honestly, it was just--]

I am certain your sheep will be fine.

[Y...eah. It's still ridiculous, and he's definitely struggling to keep a straight face here.]

R...right...

[he's still so unsure about all that but... there are a few things stahn does know. there was so much laughter—he's never heard leon laugh that way before; the fact he does so to the point of tears is almost astounding.

but it's also one of the best sounds he's ever heard.

his head cants to the side slightly as he watches leon's expression and the way he seems to have such a hard time to keep from laughing.]

...Hey, Leon? [he's got a question—or maybe more so a bit of a request.]

[At the very least, as Leon slowly recovers his typical poise and calm, he doesn't seem at all bothered by Stahn's confusion or uncertainty. The time to be embarrassed over laughing is...long past, really.]

What is it?

[So instead, he'll focus on what's important, as ever.]

[there's probably still time to be embarrassed about laughing.]

...I hope I can hear you laugh more. [it's... an embarrassing admission to some degree, but stahn can't ignore it. hearing leon laugh is... something he wants. he wants leon to find things to smile and laugh about.

(and maybe stahn thinks his laugh is cute too, but that part he definitely can't say aloud.)]

[HE TAKES IT BACK HE IS ABSOLUTELY EMBARRASSED ABOUT LAUGHING NOW.]

What are you--

[That's too much for poor Leon; his thought processes have ground to a pretty thorough stop, and he looks away sharply, clearly blushing.

What the heck Stahn you can't just dump that on a guy.]

[this time, it's stahn's turn to laugh... or really, just chuckle gentle. he knew this would happen, but he couldn't help himself.]

You don't laugh a lot.... [the honest, innocuous statement before the embarrassing one.] I like it.

[he has a nice laugh, okay.]

[He...admittedly doesn't laugh a lot, no... but this so incredibly embarrassing that he doesn't know how to handle it.]

T-that isn't--it isn't as though I can laugh on command!

[AaaaAAAAH save him from this.]

[oh no... now he's being even more cute. who allowed this.]

I know... I just mean... I hope there will be more reasons for it to happen. [he's not sure if that will ease leon's mind a little, but stahn does at least try to mitigate the embarrassment.

...even if he's smiling and completely endeared by all of this.]

[He's still embarrassed....but he at least simmers down a little, looking away.]

We... shall see. [He doesn't know!! He didn't even know he could laugh like this, to be honest.] It is not as if I know whether that will be the case either.

[stahn really didn't realize he could be so endeared by leon's actions, but the smile he wears right now couldn't be considered anything but.]

Mm... I guess it's pretty hard to know something like that. [but he hopes, anyway. he wants to see leon happy, smiling, laughing... maybe time will warm him up more, but stahn will take the little moments like these if that's all there is to get from them.]

[No.... no this is all too embarrassing for him to handle, Leon's immediately scoffing to try (and fail) to cover up that embarrassment.]

Wipe that idiotic look off of your face!

[There's, as ever, not a lot of bite to it these days though.]

...What look?

[it's not like stahn knows he's smiling any differently...]

That...ridiculous smile! That look!

[CLEARLY]

...What's wrong with my smile?

[?????????????]

Nothing is wrong with your smile.

[Oh.....]

It is--simply...unnecessary in this moment!

[—ah.

stahn's usually the fairly composed one here when it comes to affection, but regardless of how leon means that... it definitely is embarrassing (in a good way, though) enough for stahn's cheeks to flush a bit.]

I, well—I couldn't help it! [he blurts out. at least he doesn't say what the reason is, which more or less amounts to "you make me smile," but stahn's already sputtering enough as it is.]

Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron | 071

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