realpolitik | Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron

[... Honestly, Stahn's always so fond.

Judas can't help the way he shakes his head, even as his stomach flip-flops a bit; he still doesn't know how he feels to be so treasured and loved like this. Some days it honestly feels... like it's nothing he deserves.

And others, it feels so right.

So he focuses on the most important bit--the shopping.]

Very well then. Where should we start with the list?

[it's hard for stahn to know what judas is thinking in that regard; even if he sees the shift in expression...

well, it could be anything. and the fact that he's pretty quick to stay on topic despite that look means it's probably something he doesn't want to talk about, right? so for stahn, it's okay to brush it aside for now and ask later, perhaps when they're back at home and it feels safer to ask more personal questions.]

I usually just start from the top and work my way down! I'd probably end up missing something if I did it any other way. [stahn is still stahn, after all. he gets sidetracked pretty easily when he's running errands.]

[It's probably safer to ask when they're home, it's true--but for now, he just tilts his head, nodding. That suits Stahn, but Judas is a bit of a multitasker, so Judas is going to go ahead and pick out things that he remembers are on the list as they go, so they don't have to go in circles.]

We can cut time down this way.

Ah... ahah... I guess it's just like you to be able to do things this way so easily.

[stahn laughs at bit awkwardly, but it's true. it really is just like judas to remember and be able to keep track of so much while stahn carefully goes down the list in order, checking three or four times just to be safe.]

[Sorry....this is what he's good for, really.]

... You can still keep the list. It will be good to reference if we miss something, and will serve as a guide for our path.

[Or he's just trying to humor Stahn and doesn't want him to feel bad--that's a possibility too.]

Oh! Mm, that's good thinking!

[well, it's a nice enough gesture to placate him, since he's still moving somewhat slow. he mostly knows what he needs and definitely knows where everything is...

but he can't help it, because any time he screws up at all, he has to deal with rutee getting mad at him for it—even though it only takes a few minutes to walk back and get what they need.]

[Don't worry, Stahn...they won't forget anything, Judas has got this down. So he just nods simply, and starts to gather what they need. He honestly doesn't even need the list, because he's already memorized pretty much all of it, but... minor details, Stahn is definitely helping.]

[judas definitely makes quick work of things, which is honestly not all that surprising. before they know it, it seems to him like they've got everything.

he looks at what he's carrying.

then to what judas has.

and then back to what he has.

and then to the list.]

...Is that everything?

It is.

[The answer comes immediately--Judas has been keeping track.

A beat and....well, he's learned at least a little in the art of humoring people.]

Though you should look it over again with the list. [Stahn's role is very important here!!!! clearly]

[naturally, this works for stahn who doesn't... realize that judas is humoring him. he grins brightly and nods his head—for all the ways he's gotten better in the last 18 years, in other ways he sure can be dumber than a sack of rocks.]

Right! Okay... rice... potatoes... [yeah, he sure is naming off everything on the list and then looking to their haul to make sure nothing is forgotten.]

[At least Stahn's as easily pleased as ever....at least there's that. And once Stahn's finished the list--]

Very well then. That is everything; we're finished here.

[They definitely haven't forgotten anything now, not with trouble ridiculous checking.]

Right! Let's pay for it all and get back before Rutee gets mad.

[though maybe rutee can't be blamed for getting mad.

...on the other hand, stahn's in a catch-22. if he moves quickly and forgets something, rutee will be mad. but she'll also be mad if he takes too long because he's being thorough.

it's hard being married to rutee sometimes, even if he loves her and is happy in their marriage.]

[Oh Stahn....so hen-pecked by his sister.

Though that does make him wonder...and the words slip out before he considers if they're a good or bad idea.]

How was it you two got married?

[It fits them well-enough, but their personalities are definitely as different as can be.

...And then he realizes that's kind of an awkward question and clears his throat.]

Not that it does not suit you or her, but--

Ahaha... I guess it's kind of a long story. I can tell you, though. It's... something I think you should know, anyway.

[he can explain it more once they've left the shop, along their walk back to the orphanage, if it's something that judas really wants to hear. stahn sounds found as he does so—and even though there are things that he may not love hearing...

stahn thinks judas deserves to know everything about how his sister and his best friend ended up married, with child and... well, with a whole lot of other kids, too.]

[... Hm, yeah, he supposes that's true. He should know, shouldn't he? It is his sister, after all, and Stahn--his most important person.

What about this should he not know about?

So, groceries in hand, he nods.]

Please do. I would like to hear it.

Mm.

[as they exit the shop at head back towards the orphanage, stahn will start to explain. it's a little stilted as he tries to convey his thoughts and his feelings—something he's not always so good at doing when it comes to recounting things of this nature.]

Back then... we helped each other a lot to get through the hard things. To get through... [well, mourning leon's death, really. but he just sort of offers judas a weak smile as if to imply that; it doesn't need to be spoken aloud.]

Before we went to Dycroft, I asked if she'd come see the world with me when it was over. She didn't answer... I didn't even really hear from her much for a whole year. But after that, she said yes, and...

Well, we were together ever since. [it's definitely a summarized version, it doesn't really recount how he asked her to marry him and she initially said no, or a lot of the things in-between. but maybe it recounts what's most important, and that's that... well, judas is partially the reason for their marriage, because leon's death and trying to move past it together caused them to forge bonds that went well-beyond that of friendship.]

[...it's strange to think that his death brought them together like that. That without that, maybe they would've have gotten close enough to get together.

Without his death, Kyle might not have been born. Without that.... painful, terrible choice and everything that came after, the world might not have been saved this time.

So after a moment, Judas just huffs the softest of laughs under his breath, allowing his eyes to slide shut with a smile quirking his lips upward.

That's fitting. And honestly? He's glad.]

Then something good came out of it in the end. [Many good things, really.] ...I'm glad.

Emilio...

[it takes him a minute to realize just how judas means it, and for him? it's... honestly a bit weird. because even though it was because of leon's death that they found more common ground, it felt strange to think of it in that context.

that leon sacrificing his life meant an outcome where stahn and rutee were happily married, and where kyle was born, and... really, where judas could be with them right now.]

We... never looked at it that way. [but he doesn't want to invalidate judas' feelings on it, either.] But...

I guess in some way, it's true... that we should be thanking you. [though in stahn's mind, it's not in the way judas may think.]

Don't.

[He says that without hesitation, immediately shaking his head. That they owed him for that, that they should thank him for that... none of that is what he wanted.]

That's not what I meant. You should never thank me for that.

[Even if good things came of his death, it's not due to him, and he doesn't deserve thanks for them. It's just a lucky outcome.]

You have the sorts of personalities that may have succeeded there regardless. It is just... a relief to know that... [He hesitates a little awkwardly, clearing his throat.] ...you were able to be there for each other.

We can still thank you for making sure we had a chance to do any of those things at all.

[that much is due to leon, because they never would have made it out of the cave alive if he hadn't stayed behind to operate the lift. it's still something that tugs at stahn's heart a bit. even if judas is here beside him, those are wounds that never heal completely.]

I'm not really sure what would have happened if we didn't lean on each other. Even back then... before I knew I wanted to stay with Rutee... we made a promise. We went back there, and we promised not to forget, but... to still keep moving forward with our heads up.

[it's something else he wants to judas to know. they mourned—they mourned a lot and they really and sincerely always loved him. but they grew and didn't let it consume them, and they found ways to keep to going even when things hurt. obviously, judas can see where those results led, but it's okay, right? it's okay to tell him of the things they felt back then.]

[That's true. They wouldn't have had the chance if he hadn't activated the lift, but on the other hand, they never would have been in that situation if he hadn't stood in their way for so long. That's really all there is to it. It balances out.

It all balances out, because Judas knows that he still doesn't deserve accolades, even for saving his friends' lives--though that was something that he will never ever regret doing.

It's sweet, though. That they would make a promise like that. That they would think of him sometimes like that. It's nice to hear.]

I see... thank you, then.

[For thinking of him.

And remembering him.]

Don't ever forget it, Emilio...

You've always been part of this family. [he was never forgotten. and even at times when things were difficult because of the disdain so many had for leon and hugo, even when kids from their own orphanage took issue when that name came up...

stahn and rutee both had tried to hammer it home that the things that happened were much bigger than that. that it had never been so simple, and to brand someone they fought alongside that way was unfair.

after all, it didn't matter how many people said that leon was a traitor to the four heroes. to the four heroes, he was a treasured friend who made a couple of hard choices, he was a treasured friend who saved their lives at the cost of their own. it didn't matter what recorded history said.

leon—judas—emilio... he's family. there's never been a moment where stahn has believed otherwise, so it's only natural that he wouldn't be forgotten, even after so many years.]

[Judas has to rapidly look away from that, blinking quickly, because he almost felt wetness in his eyes and that's...that's silly. After all....he has no reason to cry.

But it's still so nice to hear--to hear that he's always been part of this family.

That he's always had a family.]

... We should take these back before we linger too long.

[He only has to clear his throat once to make sure that he's not going to sound a little rough.]

Right. She really will get mad that way.

[it's not like stahn can't suspect what judas was feeling—maybe that's exactly why he'd gone out of his way to say it. because it's something he wants to reinforce as much as he can.

judas is family. he's always been family. he'll always be family, no matter what happened in that past life. that's over now... he's safe now, in a warm home with people who truly love him even with all those flaws and past transgressions. but stahn is considerate enough not to call him out on it. even if judas were to cry openly, he would do the same thing—

clasp judas' shoulder lightly before taking a step forward, considerate in not forcing himself to make eye contact while his emotions may still be a bit shaky.] Let's go home, Emilio.

[He's family, and...that's something he's starting to accept, slowly but surely. So when Stahn says something like that... Judas can only nod quietly, accepting, and follow along.

They're family.

They're returning home with groceries, so that dinner can be made to feed the kids. It's so domestic, and so calm and quiet and happy.

And Judas really couldn't ask for anything else.]

Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron | 071

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