Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron | 071

[discard]

[this is a catch-all for boyfriends

here's a list

- ice cream ✓
- seasickness
- stahn sacrifice ✓
- reunion: judas ✓
- taming stahn's hair ✓
- piggyback rides ✓
- just imagine
- family dinner
- why is there pow hammer
- possessive leon
- apologies
- post-barbatos afterlife meeting
- AND MORE]

Comments

[majinken]

[it's a good thing that stahn knows perfectly well that that the fact he doesn't say know counts just fine as consent.

so stahn will get himself into a comfortable position, draping an arm over leon's body before scooting closer to ensure there's very little in the way of gap between them.]

If it's uncomfortable... just let me know. [he says quietly; even if he doesn't really want to let go of leon at all right now, he still always leaves the freedom open for him. stahn can't help it, even on the heels of his own incredible discomfort, he puts the way leon feels about things first. if he's tired and uncomfortable and just wants space, stahn is willing to give that to him too.

as long as leon is happy.

even if stahn would like nothing more than to keep leon in a cozy hug and stay that way until the morning.]

[discard]

Hmph.

[That's...literally the only response Stahn gets to that, even as Leon turns to face him, tucks his head down a little and uses Stahn's shoulder as a pillow. He's gotten used to sleeping in the same bed as Stahn, and even to being this close to Stahn when they're getting ready to sleep; the fact that they've taken another step in how intimate their relationship can be has certainly not harmed that comfort in the least.

He's grateful as ever that Stahn is so careful about his comfort and his boundaries, even now--the problem is that...well, Leon's not sure that he really has many left at this point, not after Stahn's been carefully knocking them down bit by bit.

But also, that's too embarrassing to say so he doesn't bother; he just firmly closes his eyes and settles himself there, close to Stahn and comfortable.]

[majinken]

[it's a fine enough response, and it makes it a lot easier for stahn to find the most comfortable position for them both, keeping leon close to him.

it's nice and it's warm; there's something so comfortable about it, especially when he can feel leon's body relaxed against his exposed skin. he loves this. he loves this so much because even with the moments of being unsure up until now...

every feeling, even. whether it was excitement and arousal, being scandalized, nervous or sheepish... somehow, when leon is in his arms this way, stahn feels warm and safe. he feels loved, and he feels like he can give so much love as well. there's something about it all that's so important, because even though they've done this for so many nights, it's different. tonight, it's really different because of everything else that happened.

he feels like he's overflowing. and that's why after a couple of minutes, he draws in a breath as if he's about to say something...

...and then ultimately, says nothing.

because what he wants to say has been sitting on his tongue all night (and maybe even longer than that), but he knows that saying it wouldn't be the right thing to do here and now.]

[discard]

[Even with his eyes closed, Leon doesn't miss that Stahn was about to say something. He draws in a breath as if to speak, and with his head resting on Stahn's shoulder, Leon absolutely feels it.

But he doesn't say anything.

Leon wonders what he was going to say.

There are words in the silence, of course, but Leon can't quite parse them; he's not that capable, or maybe he's just not ready to. But he knows...whatever Stahn isn't saying? It's weighty, and it's big, and so instead of pushing him, Leon selfishly just...wants to hold onto this moment for just a bit longer. While their bodies are still satisfied and pliant and tiredly pleased, while he's close to Stahn and they're both warm and tucked into bed... this moment is important, and he wants it seared into his brain, and he doesn't want anything to interrupt it.

So he lifts his head to gently but firmly press his lips to Stahn's.

Another time, he can say what he was going to say.

Right now? Leon wants to preserve just this.]

[majinken]

[leon lifts his head and presses that gentle, confident kiss to his lips, and in that moment, stahn is sure on his choice.

both in that the words he wants to say are not meant to be said yet, and also that there's not a single doubt in his mind that one day, he will.

he loves leon. he loves leon will all of his heart and soul, and he knows he's never going to falter on that fact.

but he won't say the words. because they are weighty and big, and as much as they rest on the edge of his tongue, begging to be spoken, stahn knows that it can't come now. it can't come for the first time after their first intimate experience, because even stahn knows that conflation of love and desire can make a mess of things. when he makes that declaration, he wants it to be separate of their sexual encounters; he wants it to be pure and honest and full of all his feelings.

he wants it to be something special, even if he doesn't yet know how to do that without overwhelming leon. so he'll wait. he'll wait until every sign points to it being the right time. even if it's something they both know...

one day, he knows he wants to actually say the words directly.

so for now, he'll return that kiss, following it up with one of his own before he touches their noses together gently and smiles. his free hand moves (a bit awkwardly, thanks to their position) to brush some of the still slightly damp hair from leon's eyes.

and he just smiles and embraces this warmth. he loves leon. he's in love with leon, and even if he doesn't say it out loud? the look in his eyes definitely expresses it well enough.]

[discard]

[As for Leon, well... he's more than willing to just leave that in the past. He settles when Stahn does, relaxing curled up nearly against him again. He only catches a small glimpse of that look on his face before Leon's eyes slide shut again, preserving him from the embarrassment of that level that that fondness would bring.

He knows it's there, but it's easier if he can pretend he doesn't see it.

Because even now...that level of love and adoration is really hard for him to understand and embrace.

Even though it means the world to him, even so.

So instead, Leon just...pretends it isn't there, even as he allows it to warm him inside that Stahn cares so much, instead settling against him again with a soft, contented sigh. In the future, someday--it'll be said, and even Leon will be able to handle it. Someday, in the future, they'll be able to say so.

But for now... Leon is happy with this, and Stahn's fingers in his hair are gentle and soothing, and honestly? Even though Stahn wanted to just curl up together for awhile, between their earlier activities and how early Leon tends to wake up, he's...sleepy. And it makes him feel about ready to drift off, as he rests there.]

[majinken]

[it's funny how that works, really.

stahn had every intent of staying awake as well. and for a bit... he does. but as leon's breathing will eventually shift into that of a sleeping state, stahn can feel the exhaustion washing over him as well.

though his fingers continue to gently stroke his hair, the excitement of the evening and the sheer comfort that comes with being in such a familiar, warm position is enough to make stahn want to rest as well. so he simply shifts slightly—enough to press a good night kiss to leon's lips before closing his eyes. his hand remains in leon's hair and their noses are still touching as he drifts off into sleep himself.]