you can't spell "alone" without "leon" (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
discard) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
realpolitik2015-10-16 11:13 am
discard) wrote in realpolitik2015-10-16 11:13 am
Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron | 071
[this is a catch-all for boyfriends
here's a list
- ice cream ✓
- seasickness
- stahn sacrifice ✓
- reunion: judas ✓
- taming stahn's hair ✓
- piggyback rides ✓
- just imagine
- family dinner
- why is there pow hammer
- possessive leon
- apologies
- post-barbatos afterlife meeting
- AND MORE]
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[he says that pretty matter-of-fact, because stahn knows exactly where he's trying to go, and just what it is that he wants to show leon. his own ice cream is all but done now, though he still has the stick in his mouth as they walk along.
stahn is considerate enough to slow to a pace leon can match, going along the road's path like he's not even being scolded. if anything, he's laughing it off. of course he would make an accusation like that. it's what he does, after all. but that sort of thing bounces off of stahn pretty easily, because he knows it's more posturing than anything else. leon gets annoyed, sure, and he may voice how much he hates certain things... but it doesn't match his actions, often enough. he doesn't want the ice cream, but he still eats it with a subdued delight in his eyes. he claims he hates people like stahn, but always comes to his defense when it counts and covers him in a fight. he doesn't want to see what the city has to offer, but he follows behind instead of refusing.
for stahn, that's enough to press forward until they've reached the park. the are petals from the sakura that float around the area, blowing in the sea breeze—and that combined with the early signs of sunset cast a brilliant sort of light on the area, twinged with gold that filters through over a sky that has the beginnings hues of pinks and purples. it's not the sort of sunset they can see every day, not with the rest of the atmosphere.]
Waaaah... it looks even better than I thought it would. [even stahn can't help but stop and be awed by the scenery, even though it had been his intent to show leon this very thing all along.]
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Even so, he doesn't really have a choice but to follow along, finishing up his ice cream properly. He clicks his tongue lightly at the stick (a loss, naturally, gambling is a waste of time too) before he tosses it in the first trash bin they pass, unwilling to hold onto something that has no use to him anymore. As ever, it's in direct contrast to Stahn, lackadaisically holding the stick in his mouth as he strolls, as if without a care. Even now, Leon can't really pinpoint what it is about him that just...frustrates him so much. Maybe it's everything about him all combined that does it.
Except that even Leon has to pause as the sight when they finally make it there. The petals drift along in the air, and the colors are something he's pretty sure he's never seen before. It's...frivolous. He's certain he doesn't care--it's just that he's temporarily forgotten that he doesn't care, pausing in place at the sight, enough undisguised surprise on his face for that brief moment.]
This is what you wanted to show me? [He probably was aiming to scoff, but...really, it just comes out as far more sincere a question than that.]
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Yeah. [he says it with a distant wonder resonating in his tone. it wouldn't have mattered how leon asked the question; this is his response anyway. it's genuine and sincere—the view itself is even better than he could have asked for when wanting to show leon some of the small things the world has to offer.]
I thought it looked nice in Leane, but... [and that was true. the sun setting over mountains and casting that light over the farm lands, the distant sounds of animals and the scents of supper being cooked around the town—that in itself was something remarkable, something beautiful that he missed so much while on this journey.
this is different though, with the salty sea air and blossoms, and little more than the sound of children playing and birds tweeting (or cawing, in the case of a few desperate seagulls)] This almost feels like another world completely. It's really something isn't it, Leon?
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Much like Stahn had noted, though his eyes were open at those times, he wasn't seeing any of it--at least, not until Stahn dragged him here and forced him to.
And immediately...it's nice. (Said Leon never.)
But it's a pleasant sort of sight, or at least awe-inspiring enough that Leon can't really immediately dismiss it, and he's left keeping his eyes on the sight nonetheless. Have sunsets always been this startlingly...bright?]
...
[Ah, wait, he's not here to stand around like a slack-jawed idiot.]
You are being ridiculous again. [Said even as Leon continues to watch the sun go down.]
It's only a sunset. It could be seen anywhere. [...Right? Or maybe this sunset is different from the others? Now that he thinks about it, he realizes that he's really not sure, but the words "another world" rub him the wrong way. Nobody has time to be in other worlds. That sort of fantasizing... it's pointless, really.]
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[that response comes almost immediately, and in doing so, stahn's gaze shifts away from the view of the horizon and back to leon. his brows knit—there's a lot of intense determination that sweeps over his features, as if he has to make leon understand what he's trying to say here.]
That's what I mean when I say you're not really seeing things. [he finally pulls that popsicle stick out of his mouth, clasping it within a clenched fist.] The sun sets everywhere, but that doesn't mean it's the same. The sunset in Leane looks nothing like this. The sunset in Darilsheid won't look like one in Heidelberg, either! There's a lot more to the world than just what you want to see.
[it's surprisingly poignant coming from stahn of all people, but this is just one of those things he knows. it's one of the things he appreciates most about getting to travel the world. he learns a lot, seeing and experiencing new things. sure, some of that are wonders like traveling on a flying ship like the draconis, but it includes seeing the world and the planet's natural states, too. he can't just ignore those things because they have a mission. it's not something he's capable of.
and what stahn wants is for leon to see that for all the things he says, they're not that much different. they both have narrow worldviews, just in different ways, but only one of them seems to be open to expanding it properly. and this is what friends do, right? they help each other out, even for the little things.]
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Even so.
He's being scolded by Stahn, almost, and he doesn't...actually have any way to refute what he's saying. He's never stopped to watch the sunset. He doesn't know how different they are in Darilsheid and Heiselberg and Leane (well, certainly not in Leane).
It makes him tetchy, because he doesn't have any other response he can give, and he doesn't like feeling this off-balance. He looks away, crossing his arms defensively.]
That's rich coming from someone like you. [Hmph.] You always see only what you want to see from people.
[Stahn is always so optimistic, and bright and cheerful about people, and it drives Leon crazy. He's even that way about him, and it's just... he doesn't know what to make of it.
And maybe he just doesn't know how to respond to words like that without lashing out a bit in turn.]
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[boom. calling him out on his shit 101.]
I know I don't know a lot about the world. And you always say you don't like people like me... but isn't that because you only see the parts you want to see? [this is a very serious question here, okay. because leon is always the one to point out people's faults and flaws; he's always the one to look down on a person and regard them negatively without taking the time to get to know them.
maybe stahn only sees what he wants to see, but he tries to find the good in people. and he knows that even though leon says such harsh things and thinks very skeptically of others, that he's still a good person. which is why leon follows that up with a smile. somehow, he can find a way to smile even when he's scolding someone.] It doesn't make either of us bad, though. It just means we have things to learn... about each other. And about others, too.
[and he doesn't think there's anything wrong with wanting to see the good in people. on the whole, people are good, stahn truly believes that.
dymlos, on the other hand, thinks that they're both idiots and would probably smack them both upside the head if he had arms. or hands. or anything that wasn't physically under stahn's control.]
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But even so, it's not like Stahn is wrong. It hurts even worse that he can hear the echoes of Marian in what Stahn is saying, the constant "Emilio, don't you think you should be kinder to those people?" whenever he's snappish or unfairly harsh.
He hates it.]
... Enough. [His voice is soft, to start, but it grows louder as he continues, finally facing Stahn properly.] Don't talk about what you know nothing about! [He doesn't think Stahn really knows anything about him (which is what he's saying, that's what he's been saying all along, but Leon doesn't want to help him either with it) and he doesn't want anything to do with this.
(Wouldn't that require opening up and trusting people? He's not interested in that at all.)]
Are you finished wasting my time? I have things to do. [He turns on his heel, fully prepared to go back to where they're staying, at least to get a little bit of work done before he sleeps. It's getting dark now; Stahn can't say there's anything more he has to see (or maybe he can, and maybe that's what Leon's afraid of; there's a lot here he's not seeing).
(You can probably almost physically hear Chaltier cringing, despite his lack of arms and not saying a word.)]
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[for a moment, he's stunned into silence. stahn really didn't expect him to be so angered by that—maybe he should have, but the conversation hadn't been going that poorly for him to expect the sudden regression.
for that brief moment, stahn could feel leon loosen up a little and almost enjoy both the ice cream and the scenery. and as leon turns away, stahn's head dips a little, looking back down at the stick.
"WINNER."
except he doesn't feel like much of a winner when leon had just gotten that angry at him. had he really crossed the line that much, or was it leon being defensive and resistant in the way he always was? no... even though his words were the same as ever, the tone and way he turned away felt much more cutting than usual.]
Leon, wait! [even if it's a fruitless effort to try and call for his attention again, stahn can't stop himself. why does he have to be like this? why can't he admit sometimes that he can be wrong about others, or that there is good in other people? stahn can see all of the good in him despite that attitude, so why can't leon see that for the rest of them, who try so hard to extend their friendship to him every day they travel together?]
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"Wait".
Why should he? He has no obligation; it would be so easy to just keep walking away, to make his way back and bury himself in their mission and focus only on that until he's out of the company of people like this, who make him think about things that are uncomfortable, who make him focus on things that he'd already thought would be easiest kept locked away.
Even so.
He waits. He doesn't turn around, but he halts in step.]
What.. I've already told you, this conversation is finished.
[So why does he keep listening to Stahn anyway?
Why can't he just walk away guiltlessly?]
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and that's undoubtedly a good thing.
also, it accounts for just one of the many reasons that stahn believes so much in him.
once again, his expression changes, brightening significant as he takes a few strides forward. he makes sure to position himself right in front of leon, holding out the stick for him. take it, friend!]
You get a free one when you win, so hold on to it! [he's not taking no for an answer here. after all, isn't less of a waste of gald when they end up getting a free ice cream out of it? it's the least stahn can do—little by little, he wants leon to see how much good there can be in other people, and that he can count on them when it really matters.]
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[He's taken off-guard, that much is obvious, and it takes him a moment too long to recover. After all of that, even after everything he said, Stahn is giving him...this? He should keep it for himself and get himself another ice cream, naturally. It isn't as though Stahn couldn't put another of those things away, as easily as he put away the first one.
And it's not as though he deserves it right now.
He stares at Stahn for a brief moment longer, the silence dragging on, and then slowly his fingers twitch, as though he's considering legitimately reaching for it.]
...Why are you giving me this? [He understands the concept behind a winner stick, naturally. He just doesn't understand why Stahn would give it to him.]
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[yes, his logic really and truly is this simple. sure, stahn could easily eat more; it's delicious and they haven't had supper yet, so his stomach has plenty of room to be filled. but it's just not that important to him, not in the least.
wouldn't it be selfish to have a third ice cream? leon had missed his chance last time, and this is stahn's effort to compensate for his own failing to keep a promise. the fact that he'd finished the one they just had (with that subdued enjoyment) is enough for stahn to know that giving him a chance to have another, maybe on his own time when he has the chance, is a good idea.]
We'll be even that way. There's no expiration on it either, I asked when I bought the other ones! So just hold on to it for another time. [this is just what friends do, okay. selfless gestures because they care for the other person. it's not like this is any sort of inconvenience to stahn—he wants leon to have it. if there's one thing that's true, it's that stahn is unfailing in his effort to make nice.]
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Why should he even bother with what's fair or even?
And yet...he is, and Leon's sick of feeling like he's on the defensive and knows nothing. He's sick of feeling off-balance, which he has for this entire conversation. And... it's ice cream. The treat was a legitimate enjoyment out of everything, so surely if he eats it away from Stahn, where he won't have to deal with his knowing smile...
Then it should be fine. Leon huffs out vaguely, but it's more frustration at his lack of understanding the situation than anything, and then he reaches up with a quick movement to snag the offered stick.]
Fine. If you're set on making a fuss over this, then I'll take it.
[And not because he wants more ice cream, of course not...or because he doesn't want Stahn to make the kicked puppy face from before, not that either. Naturally.]
Now we're done here. [So he's going to just...skirt around Stahn to try to stalk off, because now it's definitely a bit of awkwardness on top of the irritation from before. He still doesn't understand why Stahn was so insistent on this being fair, but...now that he has that free ice cream stick in his hand, it's feels a bit too much like a promise.
Why did he take it? He's really not sure, but...for that reason, he won't throw it away, either. He may as well use it, he supposes--it'd be a waste, otherwise. That's...certainly the only reason. He won't think any more deeply on that.]