realpolitik | Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron

[the hug startles him enough that he doesn't have even a moment to struggle or resist; he's pulled straight forward into Stahn's embrace, still slightly warm and damp from the bath.

It's hard to really be annoyed, of course, but he just blinks. Oh.....well then. Maybe he can assume that...he did something right?

That wouldn't be bad at all.

Quietly, Leon relaxes into the hug, and though his words are chiding, it's gently so, without any bite to be found.]

Enough of this. We will be more comfortable out of this small room, and it is not as though we will be apart for long.

[they've been sleeping together far longer than these new experiences after all. It's nothing new to sleep close and tucked together.]

Mm, right.

[he feels a lot more at ease, if nothing else—it's definitely clear that what leon's been saying and doing has helped to assuage stahn's insecurities a little bit. he'll press a light kiss to the top of leon's head, clearly not minding his still-damp hair before he finally pulls back.]

Right... you're right. [he lets out a small breath, and it's pretty clear that leon has done a pretty good job of easing that embarrassment that seemed to crop up in the wake of their bath. only leon could do that—only leon could so easily say a few simple things and take the most basic of actions and completely put stahn's heart at ease. he'll reach for leon's hand, intertwining their fingers so he can lead them out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom so they can get into their pajamas. but first...]

...Thank you, Emilio. [because he helped a lot, and he eased an uncomfortable situation so swiftly without ever once making stahn feel stupid for how he felt.]

[At the very least, it seems like he helped. Leon was able to help Stahn settle himself, and that's what's most important right now. As usual, when Stahn is uncertain, Leon is moreso--

And then Stahn says that. Leon was already turning to go into the room to grab clothing to wear to bed when it reaches his ears.

And there's nothing strange about it. Stahn has gotten more in the habit of calling him Emilio in private, when he's happy with him or when he's touched by something he's doing. Leon has gotten somewhat used to that by now.

But Stahn saying that name so warmly brings to mind only one thing, and that's the way Stahn had sounded when he'd said that name beneath Leon, warmly and hhoarsely and more than a little obscenely and Leon turns away even more sharply, but he really can't hide how intensely he's blushing.

He clears his throat and strives to sound normal, but he still sounds a little strangled.]

...yes. Naturally. Of course.

[that was about three responses too many.]

—Emilio?

[stahn repeats the name, turning to look at leon from where he stands. he's making his attempt to grab his own clothing (or... a pair of pants, at least), but the choked way in which leon responds feels... a bit out of place compared to their conversations from inside the bathroom.

stahn himself feels a bit more at ease, not wanting to dwell on his own insecurity. leon was okay with this, and he did everything he could to assure stahn—and that was enough. he trusts leon so wholly that the notion that he isn't judging stahn assures him there's nothing to be judged over. this is new to them both, and they'll find ways to feel out situations and grow more comfortable together.

but now leon is turned away, and his tone sounds like... he's struggling? so naturally, stahn needs to question it, albeit if only by way of gently and curiously stating his name. he probably won't make things any better either if leon is to turn his head at all—

because stahn is absolutely dropping his towel to the floor now so he can put on pants. leon tried to hard to make him feel better, and leon's already seen it all already anyway... so there's no reason to turn away or shy away from it. he wants to get more comfortable being exposed to leon, because he knows the first time won't be the last.

and he wants to be better. he wants to do better, so even if the idea of leon getting the full view is still a little embarrassing, he'll work harder to overcome it, because if there's anyone in the world he wants to be that comfortable with? it's leon. it's always leon, and it's always going to be leon.]

[There's no doubt that it's the name. It's a reaction to the name 100%, because even if it's said more lightly now, with a little bit of concern and in general a lot lighter of an atmosphere, Leon can't dissociate it from Stahn choking it out beneath him in bed, and it's just--

It's too much.

He can feel the warmth radiating from his face, so he keeps his face determinedly away from Stahn, frantically trying to gather his composure and honestly incapable of doing so. He needs to get changed too, but instead he's standing there dripping in the middle of the room, tense, but not in a bad way. Rather--it makes him shudder to remember, makes a thrill go through his body and he has to lick dry lips as he remembers.

And then he shakes himself quickly, stepping towards the closet. He... needs to put on clothes.

... He needs to also respond to Stahn, he realizes, which means he has to clear his dry throat as well again, before he finally manages--]

What is it?

[but he is still very much not facing Stahn, because if he does, his embarassment will be all too clear.

(Is it normal? Is it normal to want to hear Stahn say his name in that tone again? Would he be able to make him do so, the next time to do this? All he feels when he thinks that is... anticipation.)]

...Is everything okay?

[leon suddenly seems so tense, and it feels almost too deliberate the way he falls quiet and doesn't even look at him while responding.

funnily enough, it also means the thought of actually putting his pants on leaves his head—as ever, stahn cares a lot more about leon than about his own comfort, so even if he's a little chilly from being exposed while still a bit damp from the bath... leon is more important. it's still impossible for him to know what leon is thinking.

he can't know that there are things like being thrilled or anticipating another encounter, he can't know that leon is somehow embarrassed over what happened earlier, and he can't know whether or not he's thinking of certain things. all he knows is that leon seems to be almost avoiding him in a really sudden way...

and it's kind of disconcerting.

is he... regretting something?

stahn won't get too far ahead of himself, but he's still standing there with a concerned look on his face in the meanwhile anyway.]

[The note of concern isn't going away. In fact,i t just sounds worse, and Leon grimaces to himself before he takes a deep breath to try to regain his composure and turns to Stahn.]

I'm fine--

[He doesn't get it all the way out before he's turned completely, though, and then there Stahn is, still naked, and Leon can't help the way he gets an eyeful of that, just as he can't help the fact that with the thoughts in his head that he's been having still close in his mind, the first thought that crosses his mind here is if he could get Stahn back on the bed, if he could dig his fingers into his hair and press their lips together and--

No. Wait. Not now, this isn't the time for this. Leon blinks, clearing his throat a little awkwardly, and still somewhat red.]

...Put your clothing on. You'll catch a cold, and that will be troublesome for all of us.

[As if Leon has room to talk, but at least he hasn't removed his towel yet.]

[well, at least leon is responding now... and looking at him. of course, he has no idea that leon is thinking about the ways they could start a second round of excitement—and with leon still toweled, it's not the first things coming to his own mind, either.

sometimes maybe stahn is just a little too pure, even if he took a lot of initiative tonight.

he seems leon's cheeks are still flushed, and he wonders what the reason why is—until leon speaks and stahn's forced to realize that he's standing there still completely exposed. ...which in turn, makes his cheeks flush a bright shade of pink.]

A—Ah! Right! Sorry, ahaha...

[awkward as ever, and he practically trips over his own feet trying to get his pants on and up.

what a mess. he's such a mess.]

[SO AWKWARD. SUCH A MESS. Not that Leon is much better--as soon as Stahn starts to hastily put on his pants, Leon turns back away, trying to calm his teenage boy hormones and also just calm his emotions down in general. He also needs to get changed, so he's quick to reach for his own pants, only dropping his towel when he has them up, because he's a bit better at this than Stahn "country bumpkin" Aileron.

When he is more properly dressed, though, pulling on his shirt, he finally turns back to look at Stahn, a bit calmer and more in control now, expression placid and less panicked and flustered.]

There. [That's better.

............]

I suppose it is late enough to sleep now.

[BED........ is for sleeping yes, of course.]

[well, now they're both mostly dressed—stahn is still without a shirt, but judging by the way he makes his way over to the bed, it doesn't seem like he has any intention of putting one on, either.]

Ye, yeah... I guess time really got away from us tonight. [considering all that really happened was an awkward conversation when leon got home that spiraled into their first truly intimate experience...

but it's pretty easy to lose track of time that way, and if leon is feeling things as much as stahn is, then the excitement has probably tired him out a bit. stahn will make the effort to properly pull back the covers (the bed may be kind of a sloppy mess instead of totally neatly made after their endeavors, but the sheets are largely in place) and motion for leon to come on over.]

I think we can lay a little bit before we call it for the night though, right? [which is an indirect way of saying that he just wants to hold leon for a little bit before they actually go to sleep.]

[It sure did...and he sure is feeling it now. They're both very fit and in shape, but even so, that sort of new exertion in such a brief and quick period of time has to tell on even them; Leon's not going to hesitate to trail after Stahn, crawling onto the bed as well. Resting sounds like an A+ plan to him, honestly.

And once he's on the bed, well......being horizontal also sounds excellent, so Leon's not going to hesitate to do that, settling onto the bed with a thump that's slightly less than his typical elegance.

Okay no it's quite a bit less than his typical elegance.

Don't judge. He's tired and a tad bit overwhelmed.]

... Fine.

[Look, if Stahn wants to cuddle, Leon's not going to say yes, but he's also definitely not going to say no.]

[it's a good thing that stahn knows perfectly well that that the fact he doesn't say know counts just fine as consent.

so stahn will get himself into a comfortable position, draping an arm over leon's body before scooting closer to ensure there's very little in the way of gap between them.]

If it's uncomfortable... just let me know. [he says quietly; even if he doesn't really want to let go of leon at all right now, he still always leaves the freedom open for him. stahn can't help it, even on the heels of his own incredible discomfort, he puts the way leon feels about things first. if he's tired and uncomfortable and just wants space, stahn is willing to give that to him too.

as long as leon is happy.

even if stahn would like nothing more than to keep leon in a cozy hug and stay that way until the morning.]

Hmph.

[That's...literally the only response Stahn gets to that, even as Leon turns to face him, tucks his head down a little and uses Stahn's shoulder as a pillow. He's gotten used to sleeping in the same bed as Stahn, and even to being this close to Stahn when they're getting ready to sleep; the fact that they've taken another step in how intimate their relationship can be has certainly not harmed that comfort in the least.

He's grateful as ever that Stahn is so careful about his comfort and his boundaries, even now--the problem is that...well, Leon's not sure that he really has many left at this point, not after Stahn's been carefully knocking them down bit by bit.

But also, that's too embarrassing to say so he doesn't bother; he just firmly closes his eyes and settles himself there, close to Stahn and comfortable.]

[it's a fine enough response, and it makes it a lot easier for stahn to find the most comfortable position for them both, keeping leon close to him.

it's nice and it's warm; there's something so comfortable about it, especially when he can feel leon's body relaxed against his exposed skin. he loves this. he loves this so much because even with the moments of being unsure up until now...

every feeling, even. whether it was excitement and arousal, being scandalized, nervous or sheepish... somehow, when leon is in his arms this way, stahn feels warm and safe. he feels loved, and he feels like he can give so much love as well. there's something about it all that's so important, because even though they've done this for so many nights, it's different. tonight, it's really different because of everything else that happened.

he feels like he's overflowing. and that's why after a couple of minutes, he draws in a breath as if he's about to say something...

...and then ultimately, says nothing.

because what he wants to say has been sitting on his tongue all night (and maybe even longer than that), but he knows that saying it wouldn't be the right thing to do here and now.]

[Even with his eyes closed, Leon doesn't miss that Stahn was about to say something. He draws in a breath as if to speak, and with his head resting on Stahn's shoulder, Leon absolutely feels it.

But he doesn't say anything.

Leon wonders what he was going to say.

There are words in the silence, of course, but Leon can't quite parse them; he's not that capable, or maybe he's just not ready to. But he knows...whatever Stahn isn't saying? It's weighty, and it's big, and so instead of pushing him, Leon selfishly just...wants to hold onto this moment for just a bit longer. While their bodies are still satisfied and pliant and tiredly pleased, while he's close to Stahn and they're both warm and tucked into bed... this moment is important, and he wants it seared into his brain, and he doesn't want anything to interrupt it.

So he lifts his head to gently but firmly press his lips to Stahn's.

Another time, he can say what he was going to say.

Right now? Leon wants to preserve just this.]

[leon lifts his head and presses that gentle, confident kiss to his lips, and in that moment, stahn is sure on his choice.

both in that the words he wants to say are not meant to be said yet, and also that there's not a single doubt in his mind that one day, he will.

he loves leon. he loves leon will all of his heart and soul, and he knows he's never going to falter on that fact.

but he won't say the words. because they are weighty and big, and as much as they rest on the edge of his tongue, begging to be spoken, stahn knows that it can't come now. it can't come for the first time after their first intimate experience, because even stahn knows that conflation of love and desire can make a mess of things. when he makes that declaration, he wants it to be separate of their sexual encounters; he wants it to be pure and honest and full of all his feelings.

he wants it to be something special, even if he doesn't yet know how to do that without overwhelming leon. so he'll wait. he'll wait until every sign points to it being the right time. even if it's something they both know...

one day, he knows he wants to actually say the words directly.

so for now, he'll return that kiss, following it up with one of his own before he touches their noses together gently and smiles. his free hand moves (a bit awkwardly, thanks to their position) to brush some of the still slightly damp hair from leon's eyes.

and he just smiles and embraces this warmth. he loves leon. he's in love with leon, and even if he doesn't say it out loud? the look in his eyes definitely expresses it well enough.]

[As for Leon, well... he's more than willing to just leave that in the past. He settles when Stahn does, relaxing curled up nearly against him again. He only catches a small glimpse of that look on his face before Leon's eyes slide shut again, preserving him from the embarrassment of that level that that fondness would bring.

He knows it's there, but it's easier if he can pretend he doesn't see it.

Because even now...that level of love and adoration is really hard for him to understand and embrace.

Even though it means the world to him, even so.

So instead, Leon just...pretends it isn't there, even as he allows it to warm him inside that Stahn cares so much, instead settling against him again with a soft, contented sigh. In the future, someday--it'll be said, and even Leon will be able to handle it. Someday, in the future, they'll be able to say so.

But for now... Leon is happy with this, and Stahn's fingers in his hair are gentle and soothing, and honestly? Even though Stahn wanted to just curl up together for awhile, between their earlier activities and how early Leon tends to wake up, he's...sleepy. And it makes him feel about ready to drift off, as he rests there.]

[it's funny how that works, really.

stahn had every intent of staying awake as well. and for a bit... he does. but as leon's breathing will eventually shift into that of a sleeping state, stahn can feel the exhaustion washing over him as well.

though his fingers continue to gently stroke his hair, the excitement of the evening and the sheer comfort that comes with being in such a familiar, warm position is enough to make stahn want to rest as well. so he simply shifts slightly—enough to press a good night kiss to leon's lips before closing his eyes. his hand remains in leon's hair and their noses are still touching as he drifts off into sleep himself.]

Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron | 071

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