[ Sorry, Minato, you did not ask for or probably expect this, but she slumps onto the counter, burying her face in her hands, and makes a long, high-pitched noise before she thunks her forehead against the counter. ]
Minato-kun... if this is just a dare or something, I'm gonna... I'm gonna be SO mad at you. So mad. I will kick your ass.
[ What is more unbelievable, right now? The fact that this confession happened, or that Minato would be playing a practical joke? Neither seem at all plausible, and yet! Here they are!! ]
[Oh jeeze. It's not like he was expecting her reaction to be great or anything, considering the stress she's been under, but this is... this is worse than he anticipated, and he winces a little when her forehead thunks against that solid surface.
Her distress helps kind of... steady him emotionally, honestly; all of his nerves and worries and concerns end up compartmentalized in favor of his concern for her instead, and he reaches over to tentatively rest a hand on her shoulder.]
Ritsuka... You know I'd never do that. I'm being completely honest.
[... Should he tell her all the ways he likes her? He could. They'd be here awhile though and that might be overdoing it for her.
Should he... give her some space?]
... Sorry, I don't have a lot of experience with this sort of thing. Is... there anything I can do to make you feel better...?
I don't either?! I don't know how you're supposed to--
[ That's the thing, isn't it? Most people, Ritsuka could dismiss a confession like that as--the heat of the moment, confusion, distraction, projection, any number of things. But the thing with Minato is that she does trust him to be honest with her; no matter how wildly unrealistic it is to hear him say that, she has almost no choice but to believe in.
That doesn't actually make processing it any easier. ]
--this sort of thing doesn't happen to me?
[ ...well, sometimes you just have to cope by whining. No one says these things to Ritsuka! She's not that kind of girl! All that internal small bird screaming is just intensifying inside of her right now. ]
[ But it's still whiny, because sometimes you have to be dragged kicking and screaming into nice things. Even things that you like, that you wrote off long ago as impossibilities.
When he settles next to her, though, she twists, contorting enough to press her head against his side. Ahhhhhhhhh, ]
I never get the things I really want. So obviously, something like this isn't happening, and I'm going to wake up and have to go outside to either punch something or drown myself in the ocean.
[And he wraps an arm around her shoulders willingly, comfortably holding her close. If Ritsuka isn't going to flee, and if she's grumbling things like "the things I really want", then... it's probably fine? She's probably not going to be like "please get out, I don't ever want to talk to you again" (not that she ever would've).]
Please don't do either of those things. It's not a dream, but even so, I'd really rather you not. Especially the drowning in the ocean bit.
There's lots of other stuff I'd rather do, given the choice.
[ She freezes up for a second, then just leans into it without any other protest. Regardless of anything else, Ritsuka is a person who likes physical contact, even when it usually surprises me. A few more seconds, and she lifts her head enough to peer up at him. ]
...it feels like dreaming, though.
[ Her voice is small, and after another pause, she goes on: ]
[It's comfortable like this, he can't help but think--comfortable, and something he'd like to do so much more in the future, given the choice. The way that she freezes up and then settles into it only convinces him more.
He wants to be able to reassure her, until she no longer feels that way when being close and leaning against him.]
I really, really do.
I really like you, Fujimaru Ritsuka. In a romantic way, not just a friendship way.
[ She's whining now, but it's partly performative as she thunks her forehead against his shoulder. This is unfair? This is unfair!! She's always been the one who has gotten away with being the overly sincere one--it's weird and unfair that it gets turned on her. Someone arrest this man right away. ]
How do you just say things like that...
[ But even as she's complaining, she crowds a little closer, one arm tentatively winding around his waist in turn. She's gonna do it, she's gonna hug a boy and it will actually Mean Something. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ]
Minato patiently allows her to initiate, but once it's clear she's going in for the hug, he'll properly wrap his other arm around her for a good and proper hug.
And he has to chuckle at that, soft and a little breathless, as if he also can't believe how this is turning out.]
I have to... you wouldn't understand me otherwise, right...?
I'm trying really hard to misunderstand you right now.
[ She isn't succeeding, because she knows better, but that doesn't mean there is not an attempt at the effort. For now, she leans more of her weight into him, grumbling against his shoulder. ]
Maybe it's a hallucination? You should try pinching me.
You could. I'd give you permission. I don't bruise that easily.
[ But she actually really likes the hairpets. It's been a very long time since someone's done that, and it goes a good way in helping her to calm down. Her arms curl around him a bit more securely, fists curling in the back of his shirt. ]
Actually, you'll find I'm pretty tough. I can take it.
You absolutely are very tough. I already know that about you.
[She doesn't seem to be unhappy with any of the things he's doing, so he's going to go ahead and carry on with it! It's nice, honestly. She's snug and warm in his arms, and he's already getting to the point where he doesn't want to let go.]
Still, can you blame me? I haven't even heard your answer yet. I feel like pinching you isn't going to win me points.
[He is still only gently teasing, if only because, well... she's making it clear in body language at least what her answer is, even if they haven't really discussed the finer details.]
Minato-kun, I have had a crush on you since before that stupid cannibalism time.
[ She does not lift her head as she says it, grumbled into his shoulder. This is a lot easier when she doesn't have to look him in the eye for it, because she knows--she knows! That he will be very sincere and sweet about it, and then she might just have to go to space anyway. Space is probably very nice--
No, wait, Kaito is probably there. Never mind. She'll just have to stay here. ]
I mean. I figured it out after that. But I know me well enough to know it's true. So what do you think my answer is?
[Oh no, Minato is dense, isn't he? He's totally dense. He's just realizing that now, and it's embarrassing.
The way she confesses that, sheepish and grumbled, makes his heart skip another beat in his chest. Or maybe it's the fact that it's just now sinking in, properly and completely, that... she feels the same way as him.
Ritsuka feels... the same way.]
... Ah. Then that's--
[.... Aaah? Aaaaaaaa!!!]
--!
[He doesn't know what to say, really, so he's just scooping her more tightly into that hug, burying his face against her hair for a moment. Aha!! Now they're both flustered!]
[ She squeaks a little at that, though it's like being given permission to cling harder in turn. There's a lot Ritsuka doesn't allow herself without blatant cues, and this feels like the exact sort of sign she'd been waiting for. For such a stick of a girl, she has a grip to her, and she's unwilling to peel herself back just yet.
It still feels kind of like stepping into something forbidden, something that she has wanted for so long and has never, ever been allowed, but at the same time--she's not a perfect person. She's greedy. Once something she's wanted this much has been offered to her, how does she let him go?
She doesn't. ]
Y--yeah. Yeah. It's that.
[ They're both doing great here. A+ gold star for them both. ]
[They are both so eloquent, I am so proud of them.
It's fine that she's not about to let go, though, because he isn't either. He's content to just remain there for a moment, breathing in the moment, the feeling of her in his arms and her fingers tight in the back of his shirt.
It's... really, really nice. It's concrete in a way that he's not sure he deserves to have, but for the moment, it's okay to hold onto it, isn't it? He knows he still needs to talk with her about the whole... Situation, and how unfair it is for him to ask her for this when he's already dead. But somehow, with Ritsuka... he feels like he can guess what she's going to say. So maybe for now, it's okay.
[ She's more insistent about it than just a mild argument; her fists curl harder against him, like she would shake him if she could. The thought does cross her mind, but that would involve pulling back so she could, and so she does not. (Yet.)
She is also not crying yet, but her voice is wavering. It's a close thing, and no matter how much she actually hates crying, this feels like the best-case scenario for such a thing. ]
You don't know--I mean, you might know, but--it's really... it's a lot. Just--just getting told that is a lot more than I thought I'd ever get, you know...?
[Minato can't help the way he smiles at that. She's just so insistent about it, even though that's absolutely the sort of gross sappy thing high school sweethearts would bicker about lightly in the hall--"No, I'm the lucky one!" "No, it's me, I'm the luckiest!"--
He knows she has other reasons to feel that way, but even so, the almost-normality of it all makes him smile.]
Yeah... I'm not sorry for confessing, but I'm kind of sorry for dumping even more on you when you're dealing with so much.
Even so... I'm happy, you know? I'm really, really happy.
[ Honestly speaking, it's simultaneously more and less nerve-wracking than the kind of things she's dealt with in the past. She's tired, she's still unsure of what's going elsewhere in the confusing rollercoaster of Feelings she has been on, and she kind of misses the mindless adrenaline of going nonstop in a desperate attempt to save the world... but this is something she's wanted for such a long time, and she's been resigned over the fact that of course this boy she likes had been out of reach. Ritsuka is stupid over a lot of things, but she's not stupid enough to let go of something precious when it just somehow falls into her hands. ]
But I'm also--I'm really--I'm gonna cry.
[ She's happy too! Her feelings don't know what they're doing! Whatever, you're not the boss of her, BODY. ]
[Oh no... oh no!! Hearing that the girl you like wants to cry right after you confessed to her isn't really the ideal sort of reaction...! He knows that it's not that she's upset over him in particular or anything, but still...
He shakes off that very teenage boy reaction, though, focusing instead on the emotional overload she's clearly going through.]
Hey... it's okay. If you need to cry, then cry. It's better to let it out, isn't it...?
I'm not going anywhere.
[So if it helps her to let some of those emotions out with a good cry? He'll still be right here when she's done.]
[ Her voice goes a little smaller, a little more secret, and she presses her forehead harder against his shoulder for a second. This is something she knows very well, and she's very good at tanking it, even if it's never been someone she's liked in quite this way. Her voice is wobbly, though it's bright, like she might laugh and cry both at the same time. ]
...Even if you did, Minato-kun, my feelings wouldn't leave. You wouldn't be able to take them away with you. Are you sure you're ready for that?
[... he's quiet for a moment, considering that with the gravity he thinks she deserves. It's a sincere, honest confession of how she feels and some of her concerns, and Minato knows she deserves his honest consideration in return.]
... Mm. It isn't anything I'd want to run away from. I'd be happy to accept your feelings, completely and totally, and help you carry them.
[After all, he shares them.
Still... the point she raises is a fair one, isn't it? He's quiet for a moment longer, and then he sighs a little, hand returning to stroking her hair.]
But I... have to ask something like that in return. I'm... living on borrowed time, you know? I know it's not fair to make you deal with something like that.
[Unless Ritsuka is completely, utterly sure--and even then, he still thinks it isn't fair, but... at least it's a choice they're making together.]
[ Now she pulls back, though not that far, so she can look up at his face. ]
Almost everyone back home--everyone I love, everyone who supports me... they're also on borrowed time. Sooner or later, they'll have to leave me. Heroic Spirits aren't meant to live long lives, even with a careful Master. In the end, you have to say good-bye.
[ And it's Ritsuka's job to keep moving forward, even when she has to leave people behind--but she's determined to carry her feelings with her. ]
But... I don't think that's so bad, either. I'd rather have that and be able to look back on our time together fondly. Not that I wouldn't have, otherwise! But now, I'll just be that much happier.
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messianic) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
realpolitik2022-07-31 01:53 pm
DONE
Minato-kun... if this is just a dare or something, I'm gonna... I'm gonna be SO mad at you. So mad. I will kick your ass.
[ What is more unbelievable, right now? The fact that this confession happened, or that Minato would be playing a practical joke? Neither seem at all plausible, and yet! Here they are!! ]
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Her distress helps kind of... steady him emotionally, honestly; all of his nerves and worries and concerns end up compartmentalized in favor of his concern for her instead, and he reaches over to tentatively rest a hand on her shoulder.]
Ritsuka... You know I'd never do that. I'm being completely honest.
[... Should he tell her all the ways he likes her? He could. They'd be here awhile though and that might be overdoing it for her.
Should he... give her some space?]
... Sorry, I don't have a lot of experience with this sort of thing. Is... there anything I can do to make you feel better...?
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[ That's the thing, isn't it? Most people, Ritsuka could dismiss a confession like that as--the heat of the moment, confusion, distraction, projection, any number of things. But the thing with Minato is that she does trust him to be honest with her; no matter how wildly unrealistic it is to hear him say that, she has almost no choice but to believe in.
That doesn't actually make processing it any easier. ]
--this sort of thing doesn't happen to me?
[ ...well, sometimes you just have to cope by whining. No one says these things to Ritsuka! She's not that kind of girl! All that internal small bird screaming is just intensifying inside of her right now. ]
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His expression softens at that, and he leans against the counter next to her, just... smiling a little to himself.]
This sort of thing... right here, right now... it's only happening because it's you. That's how I feel.
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[ But it's still whiny, because sometimes you have to be dragged kicking and screaming into nice things. Even things that you like, that you wrote off long ago as impossibilities.
When he settles next to her, though, she twists, contorting enough to press her head against his side. Ahhhhhhhhh, ]
I never get the things I really want. So obviously, something like this isn't happening, and I'm going to wake up and have to go outside to either punch something or drown myself in the ocean.
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Please don't do either of those things. It's not a dream, but even so, I'd really rather you not. Especially the drowning in the ocean bit.
There's lots of other stuff I'd rather do, given the choice.
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...it feels like dreaming, though.
[ Her voice is small, and after another pause, she goes on: ]
Do you really...?
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He wants to be able to reassure her, until she no longer feels that way when being close and leaning against him.]
I really, really do.
I really like you, Fujimaru Ritsuka. In a romantic way, not just a friendship way.
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[ She's whining now, but it's partly performative as she thunks her forehead against his shoulder. This is unfair? This is unfair!! She's always been the one who has gotten away with being the overly sincere one--it's weird and unfair that it gets turned on her. Someone arrest this man right away. ]
How do you just say things like that...
[ But even as she's complaining, she crowds a little closer, one arm tentatively winding around his waist in turn. She's gonna do it, she's gonna hug a boy and it will actually Mean Something. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ]
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Minato patiently allows her to initiate, but once it's clear she's going in for the hug, he'll properly wrap his other arm around her for a good and proper hug.
And he has to chuckle at that, soft and a little breathless, as if he also can't believe how this is turning out.]
I have to... you wouldn't understand me otherwise, right...?
[He teases very gently!!]
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[ She isn't succeeding, because she knows better, but that doesn't mean there is not an attempt at the effort. For now, she leans more of her weight into him, grumbling against his shoulder. ]
Maybe it's a hallucination? You should try pinching me.
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[Oh my god???
He just snorts softly at that, lifting one of his hands to gently stroke her hair at the back of her head.
There, there, fussy Ritsuka.]
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[ But she actually really likes the hairpets. It's been a very long time since someone's done that, and it goes a good way in helping her to calm down. Her arms curl around him a bit more securely, fists curling in the back of his shirt. ]
Actually, you'll find I'm pretty tough. I can take it.
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[She doesn't seem to be unhappy with any of the things he's doing, so he's going to go ahead and carry on with it! It's nice, honestly. She's snug and warm in his arms, and he's already getting to the point where he doesn't want to let go.]
Still, can you blame me? I haven't even heard your answer yet. I feel like pinching you isn't going to win me points.
[He is still only gently teasing, if only because, well... she's making it clear in body language at least what her answer is, even if they haven't really discussed the finer details.]
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[ She does not lift her head as she says it, grumbled into his shoulder. This is a lot easier when she doesn't have to look him in the eye for it, because she knows--she knows! That he will be very sincere and sweet about it, and then she might just have to go to space anyway. Space is probably very nice--
No, wait, Kaito is probably there. Never mind. She'll just have to stay here. ]
I mean. I figured it out after that. But I know me well enough to know it's true. So what do you think my answer is?
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The way she confesses that, sheepish and grumbled, makes his heart skip another beat in his chest. Or maybe it's the fact that it's just now sinking in, properly and completely, that... she feels the same way as him.
Ritsuka feels... the same way.]
... Ah. Then that's--
[.... Aaah? Aaaaaaaa!!!]
--!
[He doesn't know what to say, really, so he's just scooping her more tightly into that hug, burying his face against her hair for a moment. Aha!! Now they're both flustered!]
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It still feels kind of like stepping into something forbidden, something that she has wanted for so long and has never, ever been allowed, but at the same time--she's not a perfect person. She's greedy. Once something she's wanted this much has been offered to her, how does she let him go?
She doesn't. ]
Y--yeah. Yeah. It's that.
[ They're both doing great here. A+ gold star for them both. ]
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It's fine that she's not about to let go, though, because he isn't either. He's content to just remain there for a moment, breathing in the moment, the feeling of her in his arms and her fingers tight in the back of his shirt.
It's... really, really nice. It's concrete in a way that he's not sure he deserves to have, but for the moment, it's okay to hold onto it, isn't it? He knows he still needs to talk with her about the whole... Situation, and how unfair it is for him to ask her for this when he's already dead. But somehow, with Ritsuka... he feels like he can guess what she's going to say. So maybe for now, it's okay.
But finally, after that long moment:]
... Wow. Just... wow. I'm... incredibly lucky.
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[ She's more insistent about it than just a mild argument; her fists curl harder against him, like she would shake him if she could. The thought does cross her mind, but that would involve pulling back so she could, and so she does not. (Yet.)
She is also not crying yet, but her voice is wavering. It's a close thing, and no matter how much she actually hates crying, this feels like the best-case scenario for such a thing. ]
You don't know--I mean, you might know, but--it's really... it's a lot. Just--just getting told that is a lot more than I thought I'd ever get, you know...?
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He knows she has other reasons to feel that way, but even so, the almost-normality of it all makes him smile.]
Yeah... I'm not sorry for confessing, but I'm kind of sorry for dumping even more on you when you're dealing with so much.
Even so... I'm happy, you know? I'm really, really happy.
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[ Honestly speaking, it's simultaneously more and less nerve-wracking than the kind of things she's dealt with in the past. She's tired, she's still unsure of what's going elsewhere in the confusing rollercoaster of Feelings she has been on, and she kind of misses the mindless adrenaline of going nonstop in a desperate attempt to save the world... but this is something she's wanted for such a long time, and she's been resigned over the fact that of course this boy she likes had been out of reach. Ritsuka is stupid over a lot of things, but she's not stupid enough to let go of something precious when it just somehow falls into her hands. ]
But I'm also--I'm really--I'm gonna cry.
[ She's happy too! Her feelings don't know what they're doing! Whatever, you're not the boss of her, BODY. ]
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He shakes off that very teenage boy reaction, though, focusing instead on the emotional overload she's clearly going through.]
Hey... it's okay. If you need to cry, then cry. It's better to let it out, isn't it...?
I'm not going anywhere.
[So if it helps her to let some of those emotions out with a good cry? He'll still be right here when she's done.]
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[ Her voice goes a little smaller, a little more secret, and she presses her forehead harder against his shoulder for a second. This is something she knows very well, and she's very good at tanking it, even if it's never been someone she's liked in quite this way. Her voice is wobbly, though it's bright, like she might laugh and cry both at the same time. ]
...Even if you did, Minato-kun, my feelings wouldn't leave. You wouldn't be able to take them away with you. Are you sure you're ready for that?
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... Mm. It isn't anything I'd want to run away from. I'd be happy to accept your feelings, completely and totally, and help you carry them.
[After all, he shares them.
Still... the point she raises is a fair one, isn't it? He's quiet for a moment longer, and then he sighs a little, hand returning to stroking her hair.]
But I... have to ask something like that in return. I'm... living on borrowed time, you know? I know it's not fair to make you deal with something like that.
[Unless Ritsuka is completely, utterly sure--and even then, he still thinks it isn't fair, but... at least it's a choice they're making together.]
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[ Now she pulls back, though not that far, so she can look up at his face. ]
Almost everyone back home--everyone I love, everyone who supports me... they're also on borrowed time. Sooner or later, they'll have to leave me. Heroic Spirits aren't meant to live long lives, even with a careful Master. In the end, you have to say good-bye.
[ And it's Ritsuka's job to keep moving forward, even when she has to leave people behind--but she's determined to carry her feelings with her. ]
But... I don't think that's so bad, either. I'd rather have that and be able to look back on our time together fondly. Not that I wouldn't have, otherwise! But now, I'll just be that much happier.
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guess who lost this notif
let's blame dw
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