realpolitik | Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron

But...

[for a moment, stahn frowns at the response. it's not that leon is wrong. finding greybaum and retrieving the eye is top priority. stahn knows that, and he's not trying to minimize that, because it's incredibly important and he wants to do his part to help.

still, there's more to it than just that. isn't it hard to live only focusing on your mission? isn't hard to stay so stern in the face of a good time? doesn't he feel a want to embrace some of the nicer things in life, even just for a moment? he's young and has a future ahead of him (hah...)]

We can't do anything until morning, anyway. Are you really going to spend the rest of the night only thinking about that? [stahn tilts his head, pursing his lips.] I know it's important, but that's not all there is to life, you know. You have to grab these moments when they're here, so they can keep you strong when they're gone!

[that's what life is about. being able to spend time with loved ones, having fun and embracing things—the hardships exist, but you power through them to get to the reward at the end. and you use the good memories to push you there. at least, that's how stahn sees it.

but can he really get leon to see things like that? he's not sure.]

[It's not that he doesn't understand a little bit where Stahn is coming from even despite appearances. He's the serious captain, a vassal of the king at an unprecedented age, and he does take that seriously. He wants to be respected under his own power. He wants to be successful on this mission.

But even so--

Maybe part of the reason why he's so determined to succeed quickly in this mission is to go home. To rest, and sit with Marian and describe these crazy people he met, and have some of her cake and tea. To just... rest.

But honestly, it's not like Stahn could replicate something like that. It's ludicrous.]

I don't recall asking for a lecture. [Jeeze!! He's huffy, but only normal levels of huffy, so it doesn't seem that he's too offended even despite his words.] I intend to spend the night planning out the fastest route we can possibly take at this time of year, as well as going over our supplies.

[It would sound more impressive if...the ice cream that he's still definitely eating between sentences didn't make him look every inch the 16 year old punk he is.]

[it's true, he really does just look like a grumpy kid getting scolded when he says it like that. even if his words are impressive—there's no doubt that leon is far and away the most capable when it comes to that sort of thing.

the world is such a big place; without that sort of guiding direction, there's no doubt that stahn would get lost in a hurry. even having seen a good portion of the world now, it's still vast and well beyond stahn's understanding. still, though. it's looking to be a nice evening, and stahn's sure that the cherry blossoms in the park will look nice with the setting sun. he may not know that much about life in the cities, but things that tie to nature, things that seem akin to what he'd find in leane stahn grasps well enough.]

You don't have to do all that yourself. Rutee's been taking care of the supplies just fine! [by which he means that they're usually still pretty stocked on gels and life bottles since she tends to be frugal with them to save money. planning the route can't be helped, but still.] Come on, Leon! You should at least enjoy the fresh air while you finish your ice cream. There's a lot to see here, and it's still early!

[sometimes you unintentionally ask your grumpy kitten friend on a date without even realizing it. he just wants leon to relax for a while though. things have been stressful on all of them, but the others all seem to have outlets for that energy. leon never seems to stop, though.]

[Yeah but he doesn't trust Rutee's work!! She's a conniving, sneaky thief and you never know what she'll do to save up the stray gald; the penny-pinching might get them into a pinch at some point, and on top of that, they probably don't agree on supplies, and--

And it's a bunch of excuses that he doesn't actually give voice too because he's too busy with his ice cream, which happens to be delicious. Sweet, creamy, enjoyable... when was the last time he actually just sat down and enjoyed ice cream? He really can't remember.]

I fail to see what sort of things there are to see in a place like this. [He doesn't sound very convinced, that's for sure. Who cares about this backwater place!!!

Not that he's opposed to enjoying the fresh air while he finishes his ice cream, but....what are dates, how do they work, why would he go on one!!]

Edited 2015-10-16 20:49 (UTC)

Open your eyes a little more!

[this is something stahn will insist on. just because leon is familiar with the area, just because he can see it with his eyes doesn't mean he's seeing it for what it's worth. there's so much more value than just what's on the surface.

noischtat is hardly a perfect city; he knows that. stahn knows there are a lot of shady, terrible things that go on with in the terrible underbelly of it all. he's seen those dilapidated homes, he's seen the kids so poor that they can't afford even the basic necessities, let alone a luxury like ice cream. he isn't blind to their suffering in the least. right now, he knows he can't do much for them.

but what he can do is find light in the dark. and if even one person sees that, then he'll feel like something went right. so he offers a wide, unfiltered grin to leon.]

If you won't see if yourself, then I'll just have to show you. [their time is limited, so he's already motioning for stahn to follow him in the direction of sakura park. he gets no choice in the matter, as far as stahn is concerned.]

What are you--!

[He doesn't understand what that means, and it's frustrating. Open his eyes more? His eyes are open, and he sees plenty. It's a place that isn't his home, and one that he is stuck at for a single night more due to requirements of their travel. It's an arrangement of necessity, not of enjoyment.

He doesn't understand why Stahn feels like there's something he should be seeing here--something he should be enjoying here when there's nothing of the sort.

Even so, even exasperated, he does follow. Mostly to scold Stahn, admittedly, but he's following nonetheless.]

Hold on! [calm your long ass legs, Stahn, why does he have to hurry to keep up.]This might be interesting to someone like you, but I'm not interested in wandering around this place aimlessly!

[except then his complaints are all silenced because he has to hurriedly eat more of his ice cream before it slides off and becomes a very sad ice cream indeed. That is something he can't let happen.]

It's not aimless!

[he says that pretty matter-of-fact, because stahn knows exactly where he's trying to go, and just what it is that he wants to show leon. his own ice cream is all but done now, though he still has the stick in his mouth as they walk along.

stahn is considerate enough to slow to a pace leon can match, going along the road's path like he's not even being scolded. if anything, he's laughing it off. of course he would make an accusation like that. it's what he does, after all. but that sort of thing bounces off of stahn pretty easily, because he knows it's more posturing than anything else. leon gets annoyed, sure, and he may voice how much he hates certain things... but it doesn't match his actions, often enough. he doesn't want the ice cream, but he still eats it with a subdued delight in his eyes. he claims he hates people like stahn, but always comes to his defense when it counts and covers him in a fight. he doesn't want to see what the city has to offer, but he follows behind instead of refusing.

for stahn, that's enough to press forward until they've reached the park. the are petals from the sakura that float around the area, blowing in the sea breeze—and that combined with the early signs of sunset cast a brilliant sort of light on the area, twinged with gold that filters through over a sky that has the beginnings hues of pinks and purples. it's not the sort of sunset they can see every day, not with the rest of the atmosphere.]

Waaaah... it looks even better than I thought it would. [even stahn can't help but stop and be awed by the scenery, even though it had been his intent to show leon this very thing all along.]

[Not aimless, Stahn says. Leon begs to differ, or would if his mouth wasn't full of the remainder of his ice cream. Everything Stahn does is aimless compared to what Leon is used to; even this slow stroll (which Leon seems to fail to notice is for his own sake so he can keep up) is a meandering sort of pace that Leon isn't used to.

Even so, he doesn't really have a choice but to follow along, finishing up his ice cream properly. He clicks his tongue lightly at the stick (a loss, naturally, gambling is a waste of time too) before he tosses it in the first trash bin they pass, unwilling to hold onto something that has no use to him anymore. As ever, it's in direct contrast to Stahn, lackadaisically holding the stick in his mouth as he strolls, as if without a care. Even now, Leon can't really pinpoint what it is about him that just...frustrates him so much. Maybe it's everything about him all combined that does it.

Except that even Leon has to pause as the sight when they finally make it there. The petals drift along in the air, and the colors are something he's pretty sure he's never seen before. It's...frivolous. He's certain he doesn't care--it's just that he's temporarily forgotten that he doesn't care, pausing in place at the sight, enough undisguised surprise on his face for that brief moment.]

This is what you wanted to show me? [He probably was aiming to scoff, but...really, it just comes out as far more sincere a question than that.]

[there is a reason that stahn held on to the stick, and that's to see if it had a winner mark on it. but that ends up all but forgotten—it's probably a wonder the thing hasn't fallen when his mouth his still agape from the awe.]

Yeah. [he says it with a distant wonder resonating in his tone. it wouldn't have mattered how leon asked the question; this is his response anyway. it's genuine and sincere—the view itself is even better than he could have asked for when wanting to show leon some of the small things the world has to offer.]

I thought it looked nice in Leane, but... [and that was true. the sun setting over mountains and casting that light over the farm lands, the distant sounds of animals and the scents of supper being cooked around the town—that in itself was something remarkable, something beautiful that he missed so much while on this journey.

this is different though, with the salty sea air and blossoms, and little more than the sound of children playing and birds tweeting (or cawing, in the case of a few desperate seagulls)] This almost feels like another world completely. It's really something isn't it, Leon?

[He's never really been the sort to watch the sunset. He never had time, and he was always focused on other things. He might note for a moment that the sky is darkening, or that the sun is going down, but such things were just never on his mind.

Much like Stahn had noted, though his eyes were open at those times, he wasn't seeing any of it--at least, not until Stahn dragged him here and forced him to.

And immediately...it's nice. (Said Leon never.)

But it's a pleasant sort of sight, or at least awe-inspiring enough that Leon can't really immediately dismiss it, and he's left keeping his eyes on the sight nonetheless. Have sunsets always been this startlingly...bright?]

...

[Ah, wait, he's not here to stand around like a slack-jawed idiot.]

You are being ridiculous again. [Said even as Leon continues to watch the sun go down.]

It's only a sunset. It could be seen anywhere. [...Right? Or maybe this sunset is different from the others? Now that he thinks about it, he realizes that he's really not sure, but the words "another world" rub him the wrong way. Nobody has time to be in other worlds. That sort of fantasizing... it's pointless, really.]

No... that's not true at all.

[that response comes almost immediately, and in doing so, stahn's gaze shifts away from the view of the horizon and back to leon. his brows knit—there's a lot of intense determination that sweeps over his features, as if he has to make leon understand what he's trying to say here.]

That's what I mean when I say you're not really seeing things. [he finally pulls that popsicle stick out of his mouth, clasping it within a clenched fist.] The sun sets everywhere, but that doesn't mean it's the same. The sunset in Leane looks nothing like this. The sunset in Darilsheid won't look like one in Heidelberg, either! There's a lot more to the world than just what you want to see.

[it's surprisingly poignant coming from stahn of all people, but this is just one of those things he knows. it's one of the things he appreciates most about getting to travel the world. he learns a lot, seeing and experiencing new things. sure, some of that are wonders like traveling on a flying ship like the draconis, but it includes seeing the world and the planet's natural states, too. he can't just ignore those things because they have a mission. it's not something he's capable of.

and what stahn wants is for leon to see that for all the things he says, they're not that much different. they both have narrow worldviews, just in different ways, but only one of them seems to be open to expanding it properly. and this is what friends do, right? they help each other out, even for the little things.]

[...Ah. The certainty in Stahn's voice gets Leon to pause and look at him properly, away from the sunset. He feels... sheepish, almost, though he recognizes the sensation as unnecessary and quashes it almost immediately.

Even so.

He's being scolded by Stahn, almost, and he doesn't...actually have any way to refute what he's saying. He's never stopped to watch the sunset. He doesn't know how different they are in Darilsheid and Heiselberg and Leane (well, certainly not in Leane).

It makes him tetchy, because he doesn't have any other response he can give, and he doesn't like feeling this off-balance. He looks away, crossing his arms defensively.]

That's rich coming from someone like you. [Hmph.] You always see only what you want to see from people.

[Stahn is always so optimistic, and bright and cheerful about people, and it drives Leon crazy. He's even that way about him, and it's just... he doesn't know what to make of it.

And maybe he just doesn't know how to respond to words like that without lashing out a bit in turn.]

Leon... you do the same thing.

[boom. calling him out on his shit 101.]

I know I don't know a lot about the world. And you always say you don't like people like me... but isn't that because you only see the parts you want to see? [this is a very serious question here, okay. because leon is always the one to point out people's faults and flaws; he's always the one to look down on a person and regard them negatively without taking the time to get to know them.

maybe stahn only sees what he wants to see, but he tries to find the good in people. and he knows that even though leon says such harsh things and thinks very skeptically of others, that he's still a good person. which is why leon follows that up with a smile. somehow, he can find a way to smile even when he's scolding someone.] It doesn't make either of us bad, though. It just means we have things to learn... about each other. And about others, too.

[and he doesn't think there's anything wrong with wanting to see the good in people. on the whole, people are good, stahn truly believes that.

dymlos, on the other hand, thinks that they're both idiots and would probably smack them both upside the head if he had arms. or hands. or anything that wasn't physically under stahn's control.]

[He lost control of this conversation!!! He lost control at some point and he hasn't been able to get it back, and it makes him feel off-balance and worried. He's tense, expression tight as he scowls at the ground, away from both Stahn and the faint remains of the sunset as the light fades into darkness (perhaps out of some childish need to not look at anything that Stahn has pointed out now).

But even so, it's not like Stahn is wrong. It hurts even worse that he can hear the echoes of Marian in what Stahn is saying, the constant "Emilio, don't you think you should be kinder to those people?" whenever he's snappish or unfairly harsh.

He hates it.]

... Enough. [His voice is soft, to start, but it grows louder as he continues, finally facing Stahn properly.] Don't talk about what you know nothing about! [He doesn't think Stahn really knows anything about him (which is what he's saying, that's what he's been saying all along, but Leon doesn't want to help him either with it) and he doesn't want anything to do with this.

(Wouldn't that require opening up and trusting people? He's not interested in that at all.)]

Are you finished wasting my time? I have things to do. [He turns on his heel, fully prepared to go back to where they're staying, at least to get a little bit of work done before he sleeps. It's getting dark now; Stahn can't say there's anything more he has to see (or maybe he can, and maybe that's what Leon's afraid of; there's a lot here he's not seeing).

(You can probably almost physically hear Chaltier cringing, despite his lack of arms and not saying a word.)]

Leon...

[for a moment, he's stunned into silence. stahn really didn't expect him to be so angered by that—maybe he should have, but the conversation hadn't been going that poorly for him to expect the sudden regression.

for that brief moment, stahn could feel leon loosen up a little and almost enjoy both the ice cream and the scenery. and as leon turns away, stahn's head dips a little, looking back down at the stick.

"WINNER."

except he doesn't feel like much of a winner when leon had just gotten that angry at him. had he really crossed the line that much, or was it leon being defensive and resistant in the way he always was? no... even though his words were the same as ever, the tone and way he turned away felt much more cutting than usual.]

Leon, wait! [even if it's a fruitless effort to try and call for his attention again, stahn can't stop himself. why does he have to be like this? why can't he admit sometimes that he can be wrong about others, or that there is good in other people? stahn can see all of the good in him despite that attitude, so why can't leon see that for the rest of them, who try so hard to extend their friendship to him every day they travel together?]

[It's a bit like kicking a puppy, and Leon should by rights feel bad (in a way, he does feel a little bad, but he squashes that feeling under his metaphorical heel too), but it's not enough to stop him from stalking away a good few paces before that voice reaches him.

"Wait".

Why should he? He has no obligation; it would be so easy to just keep walking away, to make his way back and bury himself in their mission and focus only on that until he's out of the company of people like this, who make him think about things that are uncomfortable, who make him focus on things that he'd already thought would be easiest kept locked away.

Even so.

He waits. He doesn't turn around, but he halts in step.]

What.. I've already told you, this conversation is finished.

[So why does he keep listening to Stahn anyway?

Why can't he just walk away guiltlessly?]

[there's a breath of relief that comes with the fact that leon still stops anyway. even though he doesn't have to, even though he claims to be finished with everything that just happened, he hasn't put a total stop to the conversation.

and that's undoubtedly a good thing.

also, it accounts for just one of the many reasons that stahn believes so much in him.

once again, his expression changes, brightening significant as he takes a few strides forward. he makes sure to position himself right in front of leon, holding out the stick for him. take it, friend!]

You get a free one when you win, so hold on to it! [he's not taking no for an answer here. after all, isn't less of a waste of gald when they end up getting a free ice cream out of it? it's the least stahn can do—little by little, he wants leon to see how much good there can be in other people, and that he can count on them when it really matters.]

Wha--?

[He's taken off-guard, that much is obvious, and it takes him a moment too long to recover. After all of that, even after everything he said, Stahn is giving him...this? He should keep it for himself and get himself another ice cream, naturally. It isn't as though Stahn couldn't put another of those things away, as easily as he put away the first one.

And it's not as though he deserves it right now.

He stares at Stahn for a brief moment longer, the silence dragging on, and then slowly his fingers twitch, as though he's considering legitimately reaching for it.]

...Why are you giving me this? [He understands the concept behind a winner stick, naturally. He just doesn't understand why Stahn would give it to him.]

Because I've already gotten to have ice cream twice.

[yes, his logic really and truly is this simple. sure, stahn could easily eat more; it's delicious and they haven't had supper yet, so his stomach has plenty of room to be filled. but it's just not that important to him, not in the least.

wouldn't it be selfish to have a third ice cream? leon had missed his chance last time, and this is stahn's effort to compensate for his own failing to keep a promise. the fact that he'd finished the one they just had (with that subdued enjoyment) is enough for stahn to know that giving him a chance to have another, maybe on his own time when he has the chance, is a good idea.]

We'll be even that way. There's no expiration on it either, I asked when I bought the other ones! So just hold on to it for another time. [this is just what friends do, okay. selfless gestures because they care for the other person. it's not like this is any sort of inconvenience to stahn—he wants leon to have it. if there's one thing that's true, it's that stahn is unfailing in his effort to make nice.]

[Ah.... friendship logic. The logic appeals to him but he doesn't quite understand the friendship aspect of it, naturally. Sure, it's true that Stahn has already gotten to have more ice cream than Leon, but it's his winner stick, and he should use it.

Why should he even bother with what's fair or even?

And yet...he is, and Leon's sick of feeling like he's on the defensive and knows nothing. He's sick of feeling off-balance, which he has for this entire conversation. And... it's ice cream. The treat was a legitimate enjoyment out of everything, so surely if he eats it away from Stahn, where he won't have to deal with his knowing smile...

Then it should be fine. Leon huffs out vaguely, but it's more frustration at his lack of understanding the situation than anything, and then he reaches up with a quick movement to snag the offered stick.]

Fine. If you're set on making a fuss over this, then I'll take it.

[And not because he wants more ice cream, of course not...or because he doesn't want Stahn to make the kicked puppy face from before, not that either. Naturally.]

Now we're done here. [So he's going to just...skirt around Stahn to try to stalk off, because now it's definitely a bit of awkwardness on top of the irritation from before. He still doesn't understand why Stahn was so insistent on this being fair, but...now that he has that free ice cream stick in his hand, it's feels a bit too much like a promise.

Why did he take it? He's really not sure, but...for that reason, he won't throw it away, either. He may as well use it, he supposes--it'd be a waste, otherwise. That's...certainly the only reason. He won't think any more deeply on that.]

Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron | 071

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