realpolitik | Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron

[It's cute, really.

Stahn's warmth, the fact that of all things, this is what gets Stahn to blush... it's all cute and somewhat sweet, and Leon's lips quirk into a smile despite himself. Thankfully, then Stahn's cupping his face in his hands and kissing him, which helps him hide that smile; Leon leans into the kiss gently as well, humming lightly.

This isn't anything Stahn has to thank him for--if anything, Leon thinks he should probably be thanking him. For not holding back, for embracing this, for everything he does.....

But for now, he just responds by pressing their lips together again, another gentle, insistent kiss, and his lips curve into a smile even against Stahn's lips. When he finally pulls away, he still looks pretty content.]

There's no need for that. [No need for thanks at all--because honestly?] This is the relationship we've chosen to have, and this is simply part of that.

[Sex, but also sharing baths and being able to be this intimate together--that's what they've added to their relationship, and it feels right.]

Naturally we will continue to do so in the future as well.

That's why I'm thanking you, though.

[stahn says quietly, and his tone is pure and sincere, despite the volume.]

For choosing me... Emilio. [he'll say after a moment. it's definitely very sentimental, but stahn can't really help what he feels.

he's very vulnerable in this position; he's completely exposed both physically and emotionally—and even though stahn is one to wear his heart on his sleeve, it really doesn't change the fact that his feelings about this run much deeper. even if stahn's not one to call himself a bumpkin aloud, he knows that his small town values and upbringing differ greatly from leon's.

and yet... leon is still with him. leon loves him, leon trusts him. leon feels these things enough to take intimate baths, to be completely exposed, to take their relationship in the direction of sex—it's a huge step.

it feels right to him too, and he knows without a doubt that he always wants to be by leon's side. so for leon to feel this way, for leon to want to keep moving forward together, figuring out the next steps and being so... happy...

stahn is grateful.]

...And for being able to smile like this. [because he's seen leon smile so much lately, and it means the world to him, it warms stahn's heart and it makes him swell because he knows that he's able to make leon's life better, he knows he's giving him reasons to smile and laugh and maybe view the world differently.

what more could he want? everything... everything he wants is right here in front of him, with a precious face cupped beneath his palms.]

[It's incredibly sentimental--and it's also surprising. From the time they began their relationship, it was always Stahn gently and patiently being there for Leon. It was always Stahn taking care of Leon. It was always Stahn who waited for him, who looked out for him, who was there for him when he was finally ready to take each of the small steps he took--

It isn't Stahn who's lucky to have been chosen by Leon, not in Leon's view.

It's Leon who's lucky here.

He tries to say so, his lips even part to allow him to speak those words, and then...Stahn's continuing, thanking him for smiling, and that's when Leon's eyes widen, lips parting in surprise more than anything. It's true--he'd been smiling. He'd felt it himself. He'd known... and he supposes that that's unusual for him in and of itself. He's never been one to smile much. But lately... he's just had more reasons to.

And one of the major reasons that he can smile more easily now is right in front of him, smiling so gently at him, even as they both drip water and both are completely exposed--

And gently, Leon laughs under his breath, the softest of simple noises, shaking his head.]

You're ridiculous.

[But he doesn't mean that in a mean way, or a harsh way at all. Instead, he looks up and meets Stahn's eyes certainly.]

That I am able to be like this... naturally, that is due to you. [It's almost painfully honest, especially coming from Leon, but he thinks it has to be said. Everything Stahn did for him on their journey, everything Stahn did when Hugo took Marian, and everything since... it's all thanks to Stahn.]

And for that... I'm grateful as well.

[that admission—even if somewhere in him, he knows it's true—is enough to make stahn's heart pound in a way that's practically audible. hearing leon say though words...

that he can smile and laugh, that he feels grateful for stahn's presence. they're things that make his breath hitch a little, because he didn't expect such an honest admission. it just shows how much leon has been growing and changing, and stahn honestly believes that it makes leon an outwardly better person for it.

he's always known that leon is capable of this. he's always believed in that, and believed with the right encouragement, he would be able to express what he felt in his heart a bit more earnestly. he's tried so hard to be supportive, and now those efforts really feel like they mean something.

because leon can smile more freely.

because he does, and seeing leon smile is simultaneously embarrassing (because he's cute and attractive and has a beautiful smile) and heart-warming (because he wants nothing more than for leon to be able to do that.)

so stahn can meet his gaze, though he leans forward—not kissing leon, but touching the tips of their noses together very gently.]

I... want to protect that. I want to make sure you always have reasons to smile. I'm happy knowing I could do it at all but now...

I want to make sure you always can. [leon has experienced so much pain; pain that makes stahn's heart hurt for him.

he wants to mend what he can. he wants to make sure nothing comes that will disturb that happiness or take it away from him. this is something stahn knows with certainty.

maybe they're not talking about marriage; maybe it's not something they'll ever seriously consider. but stahn is still vowing to stay by leon's side and do whatever it takes to make him happy and protect those feelings.]

...That would make me really happy. [it's embarrassing to admit out loud, and it might even be too much for leon to hear right now. but like the dam that broke before with their sexual tension, all the overwhelming feelings of love and the sentiments he's quietly kept to himself because he promised to never push too far and respect leon's boundaries and now flooding out somewhat uncontrollably.

this is what it's like to be in love, isn't it? stahn never understood it before, but the more he experiences moments like this, the more he gets it.]

[Stahn is truly the greatest of saps. Leon blinks when their noses touch, but he doesn't pull away or complain. He wasn't expecting it, no, but it's a cute gesture of love and fondness, so why would he ever complain? Instead, he remains there, nose pressed to Stahn's and expression content, even as he meets his gaze.

Because these things Stahn's saying... they're a lot, of course, but they're also not exactly a surprise to Leon. It's always been apparent that Stahn would like nothing more than to protect Leon and his smile, to make sure that he's warm and safe and happy, and to be there for him always.

Because Stahn's always done everything he can to do just that for Leon. Isn't that why he's loved him so much from the start?]

You've done enough. I am certain...that I could never ask for more.

[As long as he has Stahn, he thinks, he'll be able to smile like this.

Marriage doesn't even cross Leon's mind in this context; no, here all he can think is of their closeness, and how warm this is, and how pleased he is to be this close to Stahn, even naked like this, and it's so much sappiness that he's almost not sure how to handle it.

And then.

A blob of suds from the shampoo slides down his face, and Leon wrinkles his nose at the sensation, blinking and coming back to himself as he realizes that they've both been sitting here in the cooling bath water without really having accomplished any true washing.]

... We truly should get cleaned up, however. [They're just a sudsy mess right now.]

Ah...

[leon's right, even if... well, he really likes being in this position and he wants to stay with him a bit longer like that. but it's just not viable—staying in cooling bathwater.

he can't help but to let out a small laugh at the suds that fall, and stahn will carefully try to wipe them away from leon's face without getting any in his eyes.]

I guess it's okay. It won't be the last time. [since leon has already agreed that they can do this more—they've really taken a step forward tonight, and the way stahn seems to glow happily.

but he'll pull back slightly, his legs loosening a little. they do really need to get clean and stahn needs to rinse his hair out... which will undoubtedly take a little bit. this boy and his hair, they need so much help forever.]

[It truly won't... so they can get cleaned up and dry, and then crawl into bed together. It's not like this is the end of their intimacy for the night, after all; that's what Leon keeps telling himself, even as he shifts to pull away just enough to rinse out his own hair (an infinitely easier task than poor Stahn's). He'll go ahead and take the time to wash off the rest of him as well, especially his face; it's very necessary.

But he feels better like this as well. Already relaxed from how Stahn tended to him and his hair, and now the warmth of the bathwater and the feeling of being totally clean... it's nice.

It's also nice that he's finished significantly earlier than Stahn, so there's nothing really stopping him from just watching Stahn clean himself up the rest of the way.]

[stahn doesn't have much time to focus on watching leon clean up (though he wants to—he looks good when he's wet and dripping, after all), since he's so focused on his own hair.

so he takes the time to rinse out all the shampoo, being cautious to get the soap out from all over—at least he seems to do this pretty expertly and swiftly. he's a lot quicker than maybe one would expect. even if it still takes a bit of time just from the sheer amount of hair, the systematic way in which he handles it just proves all too well that he's used to it.

(and that he takes very good care of his hair, even if it often seems unruly.)

it's not until he's almost done that he catches leon watching him, and he cheeks almost instinctively flush from realizing... that leon is just doing that because he can and he wants to.]

Ahaha... I'll be done in a minute. I know it takes a lot longer than yours... [is he sheepish? yes, he's definitely feeling sheepish about it, and it shows.]

[...Cute.

It's cute.

Stahn's cute, and Leon's lips twitch as he fights back the urge to smile even just from that (and seriously, when did he get so sappy?). In some ways, Leon's pretty sure Stahn will never change, and...honestly, that doesn't bother him at all. Leon's had enough time to adjust to being naked in Stahn's company by now; he just leans back, sprawling out a little in the space on his side of the bath. It's fine.]

I can wait.

[If he gets to see Stahn wet and dripping and focused like this, especially after their previous activities... he can absolutely wait.

He's perfectly fine with this situation.]

[somehow... that's almost a little more embarrassing to stahn. it's hard for him to meet leon's gaze like this, because leon is watching him this way.

it's nice, but it's also embarrassing. it's not even that he's completely uncomfortable with leon seeing him; in this position, he can see all of leon too and he appreciates the fact that leon seems comfortable enough with it now. but he's just not used to leon watching him at all—he's usually occupied with so much else that there's no time to stare.

stahn's not used to being watched, that's all it boils down to.]

It'll get too cold if we stay too long... I don't want you to catch a chill. [okay, and maybe he also just doesn't want to be this far away from leon; even if they're still in the same tub, he can't wrap his arms around leon in this position and frankly?

that's what he wants to do right now.]

[That's the excuse Stahn's going with... he doesn't want Leon to catch a chill? Really? Leon has to fight even harder to keep the smile off his face at that, because it's just...it's honestly ridiculous. Sure, the bath water is starting to cool, but not so much that Leon's in danger of catching cold. How delicate does Stahn think he is?

Still... he'll go ahead and call that bluff, standing.]

Very well then. I suppose that's a sign that it is time to get out now.

[WHICH HE'LL DO.... just putting even more distance between him and Stahn at this point as he reaches for a towel.]

Ah—

[leon gets up so quickly and soon he's just out of reach... and it feels kind of strange. even if the intimacy isn't really gone from the room, leon feels a lot further away when it's like this.

and he doesn't want that.

so stahn is practically leaping to stand—in turn splashing the water and getting water everywhere just from the movement of his hair as he does so... which is somehow even more embarrassing. a smooth operator, stahn definitely is not, and even though he tries to be the more stable force between them because he's generally better at expressing himself... well...

he's definitely still an awkward teenager in love, and he's definitely still not-so-good at some things in this situation.

which is why he's standing in shin-deep bathwater, fully naked and exposed, dripping wet and...? yeah, that was a rash action with no real conclusion.

good job, stahn.]

[... Stahn is a bit of an embarrassment, but it's endearing--and Leon will take pity on him. He reaches for a second towel, and holds it out towards Stahn, but not too far from himself either.

Come join him then, they'll dry off and be warmer and cleaner and altogether far more satisfied.

And...well, the mood is already pretty good, so Leon has no complaints to be made, even as he wraps his own towel around himself after he towels his hair dryer.]

Ah... th...

Thanks. [he fumbles on his words as he's realizing how stupid he looks standing there like that. he'll take the towel as he steps out of the bath, first leaning over to drain the water from the tub (leon gets a nice extra show of ass this time) before he stands and starts to attempt to towel off his hair.

there's no point in doing this the other way around, though he probably still looks just as dumb rapidly trying to dry so much hair with his towel while the rest of him is exposed.

but hey, at least he's not shying away from that much, right?]

[Poor Stahn...so embarrassed now, and Leon only gets more and more comfortable. It helps, of course, that his hair is much easier to dry, and that he's able to wrap the towel around himself pretty promptly; he watches Stahn struggle for a bit before he pulls at the towel gently.]

Wrap that one around yourself. I will get you another for your hair.

[SO MUCH HAIR... how does Stahn handle it.

Either way, Leon's gotten an eyeful of Stahn, and as much as he appreciates all of it, he's more interested in making sure Stahn feels comfortable right now.]

[yeah, for once... it's stahn who is embarrassed beyond belief, so he just nods as he wraps the towel around his waist and lets out a quiet sigh.

he's not used to being the one who fumbles so much or so easily gets embarrassed; apparently... even stahn has things he's a little self-conscious about, and in this case, it's being so exposed in front of the person he loves most. while in the heat of the moment, and even with the bathwater partially covering them, it didn't seem to matter all that much...

but stahn is still a kind of sheltered kid that isn't used to this brand of intimacy either. even if he's okay with leon seeing all of him, doing so after a bath, standing there feeling a bit unsure and exposed embarrassed him a lot.

especially in conjunction with just not wanting to be even a foot too far away from leon on a night like this.

at least he looks a little more relaxed this way, even if still embarrassed it ended up this way at all.]

Sorry... I guess it's a little too much for me too right now. [it's been an emotionally overwhelming night, even if it's in the best way possible.

he's... in love.

he's disgustingly in love and it's hard to contain all of that while also wanting to put his best face forward to make that person he loves proud and comfortable too.]

[It really is cute. Of all the things, out of everything they've done tonight, this is what embarrasses Stahn. It's really something, but... Leon just grabs another towel, shaking his head. He won't tease him for it or make fun of him for it--he has no interest in making Stahn feel any worse about himself.

He's just...glad to be able to help even a little to maybe settle Stahn.

And maybe he's also a little glad to know that they're both in the same boat here about a lot of things. They both get embarrassed, they're both new to a lot of things, and they're both figuring it out. And just as Stahn is always trying to look out for Leon, Leon will do his best for Stahn as well.

Quietly, he uses the second towel to start rubbing at Stahn's hair, drying it.]

... There's no need to push yourself either. I said not to hold back, but you do not have to pretend to be comfortable with something you are not, either.

[Leon would be perfectly willing to put clothes on from here and go back to sleeping how they typically do, if that would make Stahn more comfortable.]

No... it's not that.

[stahn's quick to clarify, doing so as he dips his head a bit to make it easier for leon to dry his hair (which feels good. this is good. more of this, please.), but he sighs quietly as he tries to find the right words.]

I was okay before, but then you got up so quickly and I—

[yeah. this is still embarrassing and new so he sounds a bit sheepish as he makes this admission.] I didn't want to be too far away...

[it sounds stupid out loud, and stahn is wincing a bit because even hearing himself say that is embarrassing.] Heh... Then I was just standing out there with everything...

[which is to say it was being exposed after being so embarrassed at how desperately he wanted to stay close to leon that compounded everything. stahn wants to be honest about this though, because tonight... leon was so honest with him and it brought them to amazing places. the least he can do in return is be honest.]

I guess it was just a lot at once...

[He supposes that really would've been a lot at once. He doesn't feel bad for getting out of the bath so quickly, but he hadn't wanted to set off this chain of events either, and at first all Leon does is make an acknowledging noise as he dries Stahn's hair off.

His eagerness for Leon is endearing, isn't it? Not that Leon doesn't get it, really; tonight of all nights, being away from Stahn for even a moment feels like a moment too soon. It must be even worse for Stahn, who has been waiting so long for this and who has been holding back so much simply for this cause.

Finally, Leon just wraps Stahn's hair up in the towel rather neatly--it's still a bit damp, but he's done what he can in terms of drying it--and then gently lifts his chin with a hand so he can press their lips together gently but certainly.

It's okay. He's not going to make fun of it, or think it's strange, or laugh about it.

He understands. And when he pulls back, his tone is still rather simple and almost gentle.]

There's no need to concern yourself with it. [He understands.] ...Come on. Let's get clothed and into bed. We've lallygagged here for long enough.

[He'll just try to usher it along so they don't dwell on Stahn's embarrassment.]

[there's something incredibly warm and considering about leon's every action right now—from his efforts to understand what stahn is feeling, to the way he cares for the mop of hair, his gentle and confident kisses and straight through to the way he addresses the situation. he's not laughing or condescending, he's not balking or acting as if getting a bit embarrassed is a bad thing.

leon just... understands. and he's doing his best to try and make stahn feel comfortable.

it's important. it's really important, because leon is being so gentle and kind, even if his words are the same as they ever are, the sentiment behind them is much sweeter.

and that's why stahn can't help himself; even though leon's already suggested what they should do—and what needs doing—he's pulling leon into a very sudden hug. all that's separating them is their towels, but it doesn't matter. the feelings of love that accompany this are strong, because leon being this considerate, this warm, this loving without any question or hesitation is a bit new-feeling, and he needs to embrace it.]

Yeah... I'd like that. [he's agreeing, despite the fact that he hasn't let go yet. he wants to be close to leon, he wants to stay in some kind of embrace, and if that means getting in bed properly, it's fine. once he pulls away, of course.]

[the hug startles him enough that he doesn't have even a moment to struggle or resist; he's pulled straight forward into Stahn's embrace, still slightly warm and damp from the bath.

It's hard to really be annoyed, of course, but he just blinks. Oh.....well then. Maybe he can assume that...he did something right?

That wouldn't be bad at all.

Quietly, Leon relaxes into the hug, and though his words are chiding, it's gently so, without any bite to be found.]

Enough of this. We will be more comfortable out of this small room, and it is not as though we will be apart for long.

[they've been sleeping together far longer than these new experiences after all. It's nothing new to sleep close and tucked together.]

Mm, right.

[he feels a lot more at ease, if nothing else—it's definitely clear that what leon's been saying and doing has helped to assuage stahn's insecurities a little bit. he'll press a light kiss to the top of leon's head, clearly not minding his still-damp hair before he finally pulls back.]

Right... you're right. [he lets out a small breath, and it's pretty clear that leon has done a pretty good job of easing that embarrassment that seemed to crop up in the wake of their bath. only leon could do that—only leon could so easily say a few simple things and take the most basic of actions and completely put stahn's heart at ease. he'll reach for leon's hand, intertwining their fingers so he can lead them out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom so they can get into their pajamas. but first...]

...Thank you, Emilio. [because he helped a lot, and he eased an uncomfortable situation so swiftly without ever once making stahn feel stupid for how he felt.]

[At the very least, it seems like he helped. Leon was able to help Stahn settle himself, and that's what's most important right now. As usual, when Stahn is uncertain, Leon is moreso--

And then Stahn says that. Leon was already turning to go into the room to grab clothing to wear to bed when it reaches his ears.

And there's nothing strange about it. Stahn has gotten more in the habit of calling him Emilio in private, when he's happy with him or when he's touched by something he's doing. Leon has gotten somewhat used to that by now.

But Stahn saying that name so warmly brings to mind only one thing, and that's the way Stahn had sounded when he'd said that name beneath Leon, warmly and hhoarsely and more than a little obscenely and Leon turns away even more sharply, but he really can't hide how intensely he's blushing.

He clears his throat and strives to sound normal, but he still sounds a little strangled.]

...yes. Naturally. Of course.

[that was about three responses too many.]

—Emilio?

[stahn repeats the name, turning to look at leon from where he stands. he's making his attempt to grab his own clothing (or... a pair of pants, at least), but the choked way in which leon responds feels... a bit out of place compared to their conversations from inside the bathroom.

stahn himself feels a bit more at ease, not wanting to dwell on his own insecurity. leon was okay with this, and he did everything he could to assure stahn—and that was enough. he trusts leon so wholly that the notion that he isn't judging stahn assures him there's nothing to be judged over. this is new to them both, and they'll find ways to feel out situations and grow more comfortable together.

but now leon is turned away, and his tone sounds like... he's struggling? so naturally, stahn needs to question it, albeit if only by way of gently and curiously stating his name. he probably won't make things any better either if leon is to turn his head at all—

because stahn is absolutely dropping his towel to the floor now so he can put on pants. leon tried to hard to make him feel better, and leon's already seen it all already anyway... so there's no reason to turn away or shy away from it. he wants to get more comfortable being exposed to leon, because he knows the first time won't be the last.

and he wants to be better. he wants to do better, so even if the idea of leon getting the full view is still a little embarrassing, he'll work harder to overcome it, because if there's anyone in the world he wants to be that comfortable with? it's leon. it's always leon, and it's always going to be leon.]

[There's no doubt that it's the name. It's a reaction to the name 100%, because even if it's said more lightly now, with a little bit of concern and in general a lot lighter of an atmosphere, Leon can't dissociate it from Stahn choking it out beneath him in bed, and it's just--

It's too much.

He can feel the warmth radiating from his face, so he keeps his face determinedly away from Stahn, frantically trying to gather his composure and honestly incapable of doing so. He needs to get changed too, but instead he's standing there dripping in the middle of the room, tense, but not in a bad way. Rather--it makes him shudder to remember, makes a thrill go through his body and he has to lick dry lips as he remembers.

And then he shakes himself quickly, stepping towards the closet. He... needs to put on clothes.

... He needs to also respond to Stahn, he realizes, which means he has to clear his dry throat as well again, before he finally manages--]

What is it?

[but he is still very much not facing Stahn, because if he does, his embarassment will be all too clear.

(Is it normal? Is it normal to want to hear Stahn say his name in that tone again? Would he be able to make him do so, the next time to do this? All he feels when he thinks that is... anticipation.)]

Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron | 071

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