realpolitik | Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron

[Sorry, Stahn....Leon's just going to start to lather up some shampoo into Stahn's hair, working at it with pure efficiency. He's hungry too, after all, especially after that much activity.

But even as he does...he's thinking on it. Now he can't stop; he's always been an analytical person, and now there's a problem in front of him to solve.]

Mm... I suppose if nothing else, we would have to be careful not to make a mess--or clear my desk off beforehand.

[Leon is skilled at taking the romance out of most situations, and is far too clinical.]

[yeah, this is embarrassing. leon, why you gotta? he's definitely still in that more withdrawn position, even as he relaxes into the comfortable way leon begins to shampoo his hair.]

I don't think you're supposed to plan things like that...

[it's so clinical and unromantic and has no passion to it. is there even a point of talking about it so bluntly if he's going to treat is like a mission? stahn's not sure and that might just be the only thing that keeps this from being one of the most embarrassing conversations of all time.]

[He can't help it...it's how he is, and there's a method to his madness as well, as he'll now show.

He snorts vaguely under his breath.]

Passion is all well and good, but if we made a mess on important documents, there would be trouble.

[He's just covering his bases!]

[he's not sure that's the right answer here at all.]

It's not really the same... I don't think it would be the same if we... planned it that way.

[not that he wouldn't take part in it, but it seems to lose a bit of something when they speak so... formally about it. leon, what is this.]

Hm.

[Well....even so, his documents and work are important, and so--]

I suppose we shall have to avoid that in the future, then.

[No desk sex for them then!!!]

[wow? he never asked for this?!]

Leeeeoooooon...

[number one: this isn't fair.

number two: now the idea is in his head.

number three: stahn is definitely going to toss his documents to the side and fuck leon on that desk on day.]

[Leon has no idea what he has begun. He has no idea what he is bringing upon himself.

He's not going to hate it, though.

Even despite his documents probably ending up crumpled.

For now, though, he just makes an acknowledging noise.]

Is that a problem? Those are my requirements for something along those lines.

...You can't just bring those things up and take them back.

[sure, in the end? stahn's not really going to let it go. but that's not going to stop him from pouting like a child when leon shrugs it off with such strict requirements.]

It's not like your job, you know...

[He just gives Stahn a flat look at that, even as he finishes lathering up his hair.]

Rinse.

Regardless, it is my work at stake, so I believe it is fair to be concerned over this.

[He's just going to start with his own hair, as matter of fact as ever.]

I didn't say you couldn't be concerned, but...

[stahn sighs, but he'll comply, getting into position to properly rinse his hair out.]

It doesn't feel very important if you put it that way. ["important" is probably the wrong word. "romantic," "loving," "considerate," "passionate," are probably better words, but this is stahn. it's hard for him to say those things too.]

Important...

[This feels like another of those things Leon is just...not grasping. He frowns a little to himself, finishing lathering up his hair abs then burying his fingers into Stahn's to help him rinse the soap out.]

Naturally it is important. Discussing it frankly does not change that.

[????]

[stahn appreciates the help, at least. that part feels pretty warm and caring.]

There's still... a difference. You're talking about it with... [how does he explain it? clinical would be the word, but that's not really in stahn's vernacular in that sense.]

Well, like it's a job or a mission. Business and not... something just for us... [naturally, stahn is the sentimental one about this, which all ties back to his small-town values about love and sex.]

[... Now he's even more confused. He's not good with emotions like this at the best of times, and Stahn not being able to put it clearly definitely doesn't help either. His brow is furrowed, frowning a little as he works his fingers through Stahn's hair to get it cleaned up, trying so hard to understand where Stahn's coming from.

... Something just for them. That's certainly true, but.]

... Nothing would be able to change that even so.

[...Right? Isn't that how it always is? That sort of thing--it's just for them.]

No, that's not—

[this is difficult for stahn, because he knows he's not conveying his feelings right at all. so he pauses, drawing in a breath and steeling himself before he says what he feels.]

It doesn't feel personal...! It feels too... planned, like a mission if we talk about doing that and... before...

[yeah, he loses steam pretty quick because saying "preparing the desk just to have sex on it doesn't work for him at all.]

If we're going to... in a place like that... it would be because we want to, with each other. Like last night, and this morning too... [he's so red in the face right now.]

[... He's not sure he gets it still, but from what he's hearing, Stahn thinks it's better when it's...spontaneous? And Leon can't deny that there's worth to it. It's been good.

But on the other hand...]

You can't possibly believe that we won't need to plan head in the future.

[... After all, they're not anywhere near prepared for proper intercourse. He knows that much.]

While I don't disagree that there is merit to it...even so, occasionally I do not believe there is harm to planning either.

[They'll be fine.]

I'm not saying that either!

[stahn's seriously about to sink himself down into the water because he's so flustered and unsure of how to express himself.]

But... something like that—! With the desk... it... [how can you plan "hey, let's have sex on the desk" in advance? it just doesn't seem right to him.

leave him here to die, he doesn't know how to do this at all.]

[Poor Stahn... he's struggling, but Stahn being unable to get the words out and Leon being utterly unfamiliar with what he's trying to say means the disconnect just widens. He quirks an eyebrow at Stahn before shaking his head and moving to wash out his own hair.

He doesn't...get it.]

... If you decide to coherently state what is bothering you, perhaps I can try to fix it then. As for now... [He doesn't get it, and it's a little frustrating for him.]

I'm trying...!

[he's definitely really flustered right now, and the fact that leon is responding this way probably isn't helping.]

It's just... hard... I don't know how to explain it.

[... Yeah,that's pretty obvious. Leon quirks an eyebrow at that, before he shakes his head in light exasperation. He's still pleased enough by their earlier activities to not really be angry.]

If you find a way to do so, then be certain to inform me. For now... we're clean enough, I believe.

I... want to explain it to you, though.

[he's not disagreeing about them being done with the bath, even if he doesn't seem like he's quite ready to move yet, if only because, well...]

I don't like it when we misunderstand each other. [leon may not be angry, but stahn is a little frustrated with himself for not being able to convey his thoughts properly about something so important.]

... I cannot understand you like this.

[... It's a sad truth, even if he hates to admit he doesn't understand something...he has to.

Because he doesn't know what else to do at this point.]

I was simply...attempting to plan for the future. [And tease Stahn a little. He doesn't know how it got like this.]

[oh... he ruined it by being like this, didn't he? stahn's not used to this, he's not used to leon being the one to point out something like this and it's all kind of awkward.

he turns a bit to look at leon properly and then shakes his head.]

It's just new to me. I... want to do those things. Like, what you said—but planning something like that, on the desk instead of it just happening at the right time just because of your work...

[he's flushed.] It feels... [why can't he find the words for it. he gives up, shaking his head.]

...Never mind. My head isn't good at these things. [he'll smile weakly; he feels like he ruined the whole mood just because he got so flustered by leon's clinical approach.]

[... He doesn't really know how to say what needs to be said either; his brow furrows as he tries to figure out what, exactly Stahn is saying. There's...a problem with pre-planning it?]

It is... not as though I think it is necessary to discuss it ahead of time, but even so... perhaps keep it on your mind to clear my desk off first if the urge strikes you.

[For desk sex.

That's all he's asking for here. And he's not willing to let "my head isn't good at these things" to stop them from reaching an understanding.]

Ah..

[yes, this is definitely a strange line of discussion for them to go into for certain, and... well, he'd probably be laughing if he didn't feel like the guilty party here.]

I'll be careful. Of your work and your important things... [his face flushes a little brighter as he remembers the way he knocked the stuff off the desk last time. he's really bad at explaining his feelings in a way leon understands but maybe...

maybe they'll be fine figuring it out this way.]

...Sorry. I... complicated things...

... It isn't as though I am angry. About the time before, or anything else.

[Nothing was permanently ruined, Leon's just trying to run damage control here.

Can they not...get bodily fluids on any documents...please.]

It was simply a thought.

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