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[endurism]

[Here is a magical girl flavored post with magical girl flavored prompts, starring--]

a. the stupidest prompt I could think of

[The scene is a restaurant--a cozy cafe, not too high end, but nice enough. Maybe you're working there. Maybe you're just trying to order your damn coffee. Either way, one second you're peacefully chilling near the counter or behind the counter, and the next there's a girl in a school uniform climbing on top of it on her hands and knees, reaching for something that seems to have fallen between two of the coffee machines.

She...pauses when your eyes meet.

And ever-so-politely:]

Pardon me.

[But she's not climbing down.

THIS IS A CAFE, LOSER.]

b. the one with a cat

[Sometimes, alley cats are very feral and scared of humans--but that is not at all the case for this one. This little black and white adventurous soul is very eager and willing to tumble forward, meowing loudly and begging for scraps. Clearly he's seen humans before and has been treated kindly.

Konoha, however, is frozen solid, staring at the kitten blocking her path. It's pretty comical, really. She doesn't necessarily look scared, but she does look like she's not entirely sure what to do.

Konoha.exe has shorted out, apparently, and is not sure how to deal with this demanding kitten who is blocking her path.

Aaaaah???]

c. the obligatory fight scene

[It's really impossible to say how you got there. One second you're wandering about, minding your own business, and the next! You're in a labyrinth. It has a particular vibe to it, with little assholes that are going to chase you around and try to kill you.

Possibly by ripping your arms off and/or stabbing you. What fun!

The labyrinth is disorienting, and seems to go in circles and circles, and then--

There's a girl dressed in ridiculous clothing in front of you, slicing away a familiar with a butterfly edged spear.

...]

What are you doing here? [wow, ice cold]

d. the "why is this happening" scene

[One second you're safely wandering the grocery store, the next AN ENTIRE TOWER OF APPLES is falling down from the apple stand your way.

WHAT DO YOU DO.]

e. or make up your own and hit me with it, i'm super open to anything

Comments

a; THIS IS A CAFE, LOSER

[survivaltricks]

[. . .]

[. . .]

[man]

[the only thing Akira can think right now. . . is that it's a good thing Sojiro stepped out to buy cigarettes]

Pardons are 500 yen each.

[he extends his hand, palm facing upwards, glasses flashing opaque]

[well???]

[endurism]

[................

She should be ashamed, but Konoha just meets Akira's gggglasses? Glasses. Firmly.]

... That is far too expensive for a simple pardon. Extortion is uncalled for.

[survivaltricks]

[waggles his fingers and responds, his tone still perfectly even. so even it's difficult to tell if he's being serious or not]

I think you'll find our rates to be the industry standard, if you were to shop around for pardons. We may actually be a little cheaper.

[endurism]

[Hrrhrhgghgh!!]

I no longer want your pardons. [Oh.]

Do not pardon me any longer.

[She's still on your countertop btw]

[survivaltricks]

Pardon officially retracted.

[he drops his arm to his side, eyes flickering towards the counter, then back up at her again]

You're still on the counter, though.

[endurism]

.......Ah.

[AH.

She flusters a little, but clears her throat firmly.]

My little sister dropped her belonging between the two machines there.

[POINTS!!

That's what she was trying to grab.

ps, it's literally an empty snail shell.

wtf]

[survivaltricks]

[hey, Akira isn't about to judge. he knows better than anyone else how something that looks like junk can actually be someone else's most important possession. with an understanding hum, he pushes himself up onto his tip toes to retrieve the snail shell from between the coffee makers]

Hm? Is that all?

[and once he has the trinket in hand, he holds it out for the strange girl to take]

Shell retrieval services are only 100 yen.

[j/k they're free]

c

[nastylittleshit]

[ Oh, this is confusing. Maybe it's some sort of illusion? It's quite large, though, and doesn't feel quite right.

In either case, here's Nobimaru deftly running here and there to dodge the attacks coming from those strange creatures(?). He's somehow managed to avoid being injured so far, but when some stranger comes barging into the situation, he's just startled enough that a spear nicks his arm. ]

... aah, thank goodness! I thought I was going to die!

[ He promptly dons his best Innocent Face and goes skittering to hide behind her. She wouldn't refuse to help out a cute little kid, right???? Especially when he has a hand clasped to his injured arm, because it hurts sooooooo much. ]

Please help me, miss! What's going on here?

[endurism]

[In truth, his ploy works pretty well, because she is infinitesimally weaker to children compared to anyone else. Slightly. A little.

It means she doesn't immediately ditch him.

Instead, she frowns deeply.]

... That is none of your concern. [UGHH.] I suppose I'll escort you to safety.

[nastylittleshit]

Thank you so much, miss!

[ At least he's keeping just enough distance from her that he's not getting in the way of her fighting. The fact that it gives him a great vantage point to watch her fighting is just a happy coincidence! ]

But ... I do feel like it's my concern? I ended up here, after all. I'm not responsible for this awful place, am I?

[ Giving a tiny little gasp of dismay at the very thought. ]

[endurism]

[He has a very good vantage point, so he'll be able to tell that her spear is a) razor sharp despite being shaped like butterflies and b) her skills are probably magically induced.

It's fine.

She neatly dispatches yet another familiar with a twirl of her spear.]

I've already answered. [NOT!! YOUR CONCERN!]

You were merely in the wrong place at the wrong time.

[The last familiar is down, and so--]

... Now come with me.

[nastylittleshit]

[ ... fascinating. She doesn't feel like a kemono, and yet the way she fights simply isn't possible for a normal human being. Nobimaru isn't totally faking it when he watches her intently, eyes a little wide.

He is faking it when he claps his hands in wonder, voice pitching up in excitement. ]

-- amazing! Miss, you're so cool! I've never seen anything like that before!

[ He tip-taps forward to fall into step beside her, still wearing that innocent, bright-eyed smile. ]

I've seen people fighting before, but you're really something different. It was like magic! Is that what it was?

[endurism]

[She just frowns in response, expression stiff as she turns away.]

Come. We have to go. Lingering is dangerous.

[Nosyass kid.

Konoha trusts nobody, but especially not nosy people.

Her heels click on the labyrinth ground as she walks.]

C

[redmeansgo]

[Being used to fighting monsters by now, Aisaku had summoned his own ridiculous armor and felt like he has been running circles in this labyrinth forever! He couldn't even contact anymore from the outside world which made this more distressing... He wasn't the brightest bulb, so he figured that he'd just eventually punch the walls down until he came outside!

Whenever he saw this girl, Aisaku was relieved at first that he wasn't alone in here. But it's her tone more than anything that ends up setting him off.]

Hey! That's my question! What the hell are you doin' here?!

[endurism]

[Heyo!!

The last thing she's expecting is... this. Whatever this is. Why is he here? Who is he? We just don't know!!]

That is none of your business. [Phew!!]

You should leave. It isn't safe here. No matter who you think you are... that is the case.

[redmeansgo]

It's my business if you're in my business.

[Because he was here first clearly!!]

Listen, princess. I would'va ditched this place ages ago if it wasn't a freakin' maze! If you got a key to the exit, then you can hand it over.

[endurism]

[Rude!!!]

It is hardly any fault of mine that you are lost. [She huffs, a delicate sound, and turns on her heel.]

Just stay out of my way, then, if you are so incompetent as to be unable to leave on your own.

[redmeansgo]

I'm not incompetent... Maybe just a bit clumsy!

[She wouldn't be able to see it under the mask, but Aisaku was pouting just a bit as he follows her. Despite the attitude, it was easier to fight together with someone. Plus he felt that he wouldn't go insane with some human interaction.]

Anyway... The heck were those things eariler? They didn't look like Schatten.

[endurism]

[He's a good boy... a good boy who deserves better than to be berated by Konoha all the time AND YET.

HERE WE ARE.

He follows, and she frowns to herself, bladed staff at the ready.]

Is it not enough to know that they are enemies? If you do not already know what they're called, you don't belong in here.

[Which is, of course, a great cue for more of them to show up; Konoha huffs an irritated noise under her breath, flicking her staff into a battle-ready pose.]

b

[labbrat]

Just kick their butt, ya baby.

I've got a blaster if you need it. [ look she has a robot cat stepsister... it's fine... and it's not animal cruelty if you're anthro??? ]

[endurism]

[Okay look.

She doesn't know a lot about cats, but she does know you can't just like. Blast them!!

(Also what the fuck are you?)

Konoha stares. And stares. And--]

... Excuse me. I think I may have stood out in the cold for too long. [SHE'S GOTTA GO]

[labbrat]

[ excuse you!! sometimes you're just an innate furry.

her hair fluffs and sticks up like a li'l angry ghibli girl. ]

Well, whose fault is that?! You can't just be weak and let this kitten tell you what to do! Show 'em what for!

[endurism]

[Oh my god.]

I simply... don't know what to do with her...

[Why is she explaining herself!! She just doesn't know!!]

[labbrat]

[ it's so unlike her to be this patient. she's gone from "why aren't you kicking this baby cat's ass" to "i'm gonna kick your ass i swear to cob" ]

How do you live like this?! Here lies Whats-your-face, starved to death while staring a kitten in the eyes!

Okay, because of my own great mercy, [ no she's just bored. ] I'm gonna throw her. [ F IN CHAT ]

[endurism]

[... holy shit.]

Wait--

[Sorry, she's just.

She's so baffled.]

Throw her? [?????]