you can't spell "alone" without "leon" (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
discard) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
realpolitik2015-10-16 11:13 am
discard) wrote in realpolitik2015-10-16 11:13 am
Leon Magnus | Stahn Aileron | 071
[this is a catch-all for boyfriends
here's a list
- ice cream ✓
- seasickness
- stahn sacrifice ✓
- reunion: judas ✓
- taming stahn's hair ✓
- piggyback rides ✓
- just imagine
- family dinner
- why is there pow hammer
- possessive leon
- apologies
- post-barbatos afterlife meeting
- AND MORE]
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he still couldn't be prepared for it.
the moments had all been one of heated passion, where his hot-blooded nature and natural fires had managed to pull leon in.
but then here leon is, cupping his cheek so gently, seeming so thoughtful and warm and kind as a finger grazes his cheek that it leaves stahn utterly speechless. there weren't many words to begin with, but rather than heated passion, his heart almost feels like it could burst from his chest with how much love seems to go into the gesture. his words, and the kiss that follows... they take a slightly different tone that resonates deeply with stahn.
it's exciting. he wants more.
it seems to fit them well enough, maybe a little better than sloppily trying to get through things. and maybe that's why stahn is content to let this kiss linger a bit longer before he murmurs against leon's lips.]
I just wanted to make sure... Before we went any further. [his words are strangely considerate despite the aroused haze that surrounds stahn, though maybe that in itself is telling of just how deeply he considers leon's needs.] I'm not holding back. I won't, if you don't want me to.
[but stahn will follow that up with another kiss, warm and deep, and a lot less frantic than the other kisses. it doesn't mean he's stopping, or that they won't try to pursue this as far as they can...
but it means there's just a little more of stahn at the helm rather than just stahn's raging hormones desperately seeking out leon's body.
....even though wanting every last inch of it can't be stopped at this point.]
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Now, the movements Leon makes are completely deliberate.
He shifts his hand from Stahn's cheek down to cup the side of his neck, and with his other hand in Stahn's hair, he's able to hold his head in place gently as he returns the kiss and then starts another, all with the same tone as before.
The shift in atmosphere is so pronounced, but... it almost settles Leon even more. Even as his brain catches up with him, even as he properly realizes what it is they're trying to do, he realizes that he doesn't care. This is what he wants, and the way that Stahn so lovingly looks out for him and his needs only confirms it.
What else could he possibly need?
So he doesn't hesitate, and he doesn't shrink back, and he doesn't freeze up; instead, Leon slides his hand down Stahn's neck, fingers sliding beneath his
turtleneckcollar and along his collarbone, as much as he can with the shirt in his way, even as he pulls away from the kisses just long enough to breathe a respond. ]This is what I want you to do.
[Exactly what Stahn's doing--that's what he wants. That's what he wants for sure, and now he knows it 100%]
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[it serves as a quiet confirmation, an acknowledgment of what they're moving forward towards doing. every kiss, every touch now feels so deliberate and so warm; there's not just desire held in their touches, but also love...
though neither of them moves to say it. somewhere on his tongue, that word does linger somewhere, but never dares to be spoken. it's a bit tough to hold it back when leon is so gentle, when he touches stahn's skin softly enough to send shivers straight up and down his spine, and when he doesn't have even the slightest bit of hesitation.
stahn wants to embrace that, because it's taken them so long to get to the point where they can be this comfortable with one another. so as he shifts to raise his head a bit and give leon another deep, warm kiss, his hands edge away from the beltline and back under leon's shirt and up his back. it's only a temporary motion, one to aid in shifting the mood—and maybe to buy himself another couple of moments of time to figure out what and how to approach this.
maybe now stahn is being a little more cautious, a little more gentle—not out of real hesitation or concern for pushing his limits, but because he wants it to be a good experience.
even though their pauses have given him enough time to realize he doesn't really know what he's doing. he pushes his leg up slightly between leon's legs, grazing against him lightly and making and attempt to shift them into a position where they won't be stuck in just awkward touching beneath clothes—and that's why as he does so, he tugs upwards a little at leon's shirt.
—undressing, that should come first right? at least partially so, he thinks.]
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He knows that they're at the point of "love"--that they have been for a long time, but that it's such a daunting concept that Leon can't bring himself to approach it even in his head. He knows, too, that Stahn is probably holding back on his behalf--but it's still too much.
Even knowing that they both feel that...even as he's on top of Stahn and Stahn pulls at his shirt to rid him of the article of clothing, and even as Leon allows him to do it, he still can't say that he loves Stahn. Not out loud.
Not that it matters, because it may very well be implied in the way that he grits out a startled--]
What are you--
[Stahn's fingers are tugging at Leon's shirt but Stahn's leg is wedged between his thighs, and the added friction there is a surprise--but not one that Leon can hide is good, because he trails off pretty quickly into a sharp intake of breath, hips automatically pressing against Stahn's leg slightly even though he really has no idea what he's going for here.
But he'll at least get what Stahn's going for here, and he shifts to at least let Stahn sit up a little, because if Stahn's going to strip him of his shirt, he thinks he should be able to do the exact same, and he'll do so very demandingly at that, because he's Leon Magnus and even at times like this he's a demanding baby.]
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somehow, even as they both try their best to be smooth about these things, even as they press forward with bouts of fumbling in-between these kisses that seem to be a mix of passionate and sloppy along with warm and full of love and desire... it seems right.
stahn himself likes it this way, where leon sucks in sharp breaths of surprise, but doesn't retreat, how he tries to work with the movements of stahn's body to continue to enjoy what's happening, and how he finds a way to still be commanding in the situation. the power between them seems balanced and thoroughly so—somehow, it just seems to suit them and for stahn, that's perfect. so he'll comply with leon, though maybe not in the way leon initially intended.
he'll force their lips together as he wraps his arms around leon, finding some kind of anchor to pull himself completely upright; he's careful as he does so though, trying to seek the easiest way to guide leon to take a position they already have in the past—leon in his lap, straddling him close. the friction that will come with it will definitely make stahn himself shiver, but it's fine. this way, they can be close, leon can keep some sense of control and even the playing field, and they can try to figure out each part of what comes next together.]
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But the expression on his face is more thoughtful than anything, because the last time they were in a position like this, Stahn had been a bit too eager and had injured himself and they hadn't been able to go further, and it had disappointed him. It had disappointed both of them, of course, but... Leon's more interested in the fact that Stahn had been disappointed by it.
Because now he has the chance to make up for it.
So even as his own breathing shudders and catches from Stahn's movements and actions, Leon focuses on what he did before--he shifts forward just enough to press his lips to Stahn's lips again, and then moves along his jaw and to his neck, trailing kisses down the crook of his neck and down to his shoulder, just as he'd done before.
He doesn't intend to stop this time, though--that much is clear by how his fingers grasp at Stahn's shirt and pull it up, aiming to get it off of him so that he can properly pursue what he'd had to deny Stahn before.
Sometimes, he really can be a bit of a sap.]
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his hands start to slide down towards leon's waist, but the way leon's lips travel, the way they trail his jaw, his neck and his shoulder just makes stahn's excitement that much more noticeable; with how close their bodies are, it can't be missed at this point. it's, if nothing else, a signal to leon that he's making the right moves, though maybe that would have been obvious from the way he tilts his head to give leon room to move as he pleases with those kisses.
stahn's fingers dig a bit into the flesh of leon's waist out of instinct, and before he can go any further, he feels leon grasping at the fabric of his shirt.
ah.
yes, of course....
so he'll allow it, dropping his arms and ducking slightly to make it easier for leon to pull the shirt up over his head.
he wants this. they both want this, and after their past mishaps, stahn feel so determined to make things go the right way. he's careful in his motions for that reason, because he doesn't want to end up with another split lip, or bumping leon's head, or doing anything that will lead them to a situation as disappointing as their last attempt. they'd both been disappointed, hadn't they? even if stahn himself had been the one to act childish over it. he doesn't want that to happen again.]
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But then Stahn works with him on pulling off the shirt, and Leon honestly gets a little overeager--he shifts to pull that shirt over Stahn's head and doesn't really account for his mane, and...after a moment, he realizes that it's a little...caught. He doesn't want to pull too hard, either, or that will just hurt Stahn and really ruin the mood, so for a moment all he can do is just hesitate.
And frown a little.
This isn't what he wanted at all??? And he's still very much aroused and flushed, so stopping also doesn't really strike him as that great of an idea, but what else can be do?
It was Leon's turn to fuck up anyway, clearly.
Awkwardly, he tugs lightly on the shirt, and awkwardly, he clears his throat.
Uh.]
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but this time around, stahn doesn't feel deterred—he's definitely not going to let this stop them, even if slows them down a little. there's something really charming, endearing about the way leon is trying here.
—still, it's comical, isn't it? with his head dipped this way, it's kind of funny to him, and for a moment, his shoulders quake.
...and out follows a warm, audible laugh. stahn can't help himself—it's legitimately a bit funny to end up tangled in his hair and his shirt when they're trying to undress each other. they're fumbling even when they try so hard, and maybe stahn has an easy enough time seeing it as what it is—something they need. they've gone from intensely passionate to much warmer and more intimate, but there's little denying that they've been so focused on doing things right rather than doing what comes natural. he may still be just as aroused as leon (and that's why he has no intention of backing out), but he can afford a laugh. it suits stahn more, and it seems to help him feel more at ease with how they're treading into unfamiliar territory.
but he won't leave things this way—this is awkward, after all. stahn fumbles a bit himself because of the position, but seeks out leon's hands before guiding them towards the back of his shirt, as if to show him exactly where to pull so that stahn can slide himself wholly out of his shirt. and when he does? stahn is all smiles—warm and amused, with his eyes gleaming from behind his aroused gaze. his cheeks and ears are bright pink, and his hair is completely disheveled....
it's fine though, stahn's sure of it.]
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Leon's already flushed and warm from the situation, but he flushes just a bit further at the laughter; while he knows Stahn isn't judging him, it's still embarrassing to mess up that way. But he's still gentle about how he pulls the shirt off properly once Stahn shows him how, though then he looks away, huffing out a short, embarrassed breath.
He's not really angry or frustrated, of course, but he is a little embarrassed--and of course it's this that would embarrass him first out of everything in this situation, of course it's just not being as capable as he wants to pretend he is in front of Stahn that gets him to shift a little uncomfortably.
On the other hand, shifting his position reminds him that he's in Stahn's lap and it actually feels pretty good, so that doesn't get very far before he's automatically shifting again, pressing his hips forward against Stahn's almost experimentally, and yep, that works just fine, he's perfectly fine with how that feels, a pleased noise escaping him as he does.
It's enough to distract him for a moment from being embarrassed, before he meets Stahn's gaze and remembers that...right..... but mostly his eyes are caught by how Stahn looks like this, disheveled and smiling, shirtless, which he's seen before, but never like this--so really, he's not going to be looking away again, because his attention has been caught, and instead he reaches out to run his fingers through Stahn's hair with almost a surprising amount of concentration, tidying it a little.
Which he'll give a muttered, hoarse explanation for:]
... Your hair may get in the way again, so I will just fix it now. [Whatever, Leon, you just want to touch his hair.]
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[he says it with a warm sort of tone, gentle and appreciative and yet all the same. someone when it's like this, leon is simultaneously extremely attractive and really cute, stahn thinks.
of course he's attractive—stahn loves every part of leon. the delicate yet somehow hardened features of his face, the serious expression in his eyes, the way his hair seems to fall in just a way to keep a little mystery to what he's thinking. he appreciates how even though leon is smaller, he's so svelte and agile, and it shows in the curvatures of his body. even with hands callused from swordplay, they still feel soft against his skin somehow.
naturally it extends beyond the physical; he loves the way leon's cheeks flush when he's embarrassed. he loves when he can pull small and warm smiles out of him behind closed doors, and how leon always tries his best to make sure stahn is happy, even when he's not sure what to do. he doesn't mind when leon calls him in a idiot or pouts like a child, and even when they bicker, he admires the way leon tries to maintain his dignity while a fire burns.
to him, everything about leon is perfect. but those moments like this, when he can see that leon is embarrassed, when he's trying so hard to hide the things he wants by using silly excuses... it's cute. it's uniquely leon, and it makes him happy.
so he leans forward (subsequently forcing their his to press in the process), and kisses leon softly. it's like a small reprieve in the heat of the moment, but one that never seems to lose what they're really aiming for in all of this.]
It's nice anyway... when you touch my hair like that. [which is a truth, though maybe one he's never expressed. but he loves the feeling of leon's fingers in his hair, embracing even the most inconsequential of his features without ever acting like it's burdensome that he has so much hair.
it's important.
he's still all smiles too, even if they're a little goofy looking, as his hands rest at the small of leon's back before slowly tracing towards the front side.]
no subject
The softness of their kisses and affection and words, Stahn's gentle smiles and Leon's gentle motions, and the contrast between that and the way that their bodies are so hypersensitive to every movement or shift they make, that Stahn's touch causes Leon to shiver and that he can feel his body react to everything Stahn does, because he just wants more--
But that contrast...is how they function, and it suits them.
Just as the love and care they have for each other is important, it's important too that they are able to properly embrace everything about each other. They've been waiting for this too long to mess it up, either by hesitating or by rushing forward without proper care.
No, they're doing this deliberately and warmly, and it's how it should be done, so even if it makes Leon blush a little despite himself when Stahn says something like that, a phrase that's almost obscene in its innocence and simplicity, and yet still so capable of meaning more-- and he clears his throat awkwardly and...nods.]
Then... I have no issues with this.
[None at all... he doesn't have any issues with anything, honestly, this is all a-okay by him. Instead, with the same level of concentration as before, he slides both hands through Stahn's hair, gathering the strands slowly and deliberately, fingers dragging lightly along Stahn's scalp, bringing his hands together to form a ponytail.]
Like this, perhaps.
[Both that he likes the picture Stahn makes like this (and it's a pretty picture indeed, with Stahn's face flushed and his lips red, with his eyes watching Leon like this...
And, well, that he likes being able to touch Stahn like this as well.]
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though maybe it's not just the conversation. maybe it's it's the groans that come alongside the friction and the way that vibration seems to carry directly into stahn's mouth that makes hos own breath hitch a little. the feeling is only further amplified by way leon touching his hair, the way his fingers drag across his scalp, but how he remains careful enough to not tangle the hair or tug on it in a way that would cause him any sort of real pain.
instead what he has is leon shaping his hair into a fashion he hardly ever uses for himself, and an expression on leon's face that indicates that he'd like it like that.]
It's fine that way... if you like it. [he staggers the words between kisses. if leon wants his hair in a ponytail right now... he'd comply. if that would make him happy, if that would somehow make him more attractive—stahn can't complain. seeing leon take things into his own hands in a literal way is always exciting; he likes it when leon goes for the things he wants.
especially when the thing leon wants is stahn.
this is fine.
stahn himself is willing to show how okay he is with this by once again shifting his hands around the back—it's all deliberate and intentional, touching and teasing to play at leon's skin before even doing a thing, only this time, stahn's fingers tease below the beltline once more, tugging the fabric gently a bit downwards.
he's not really sure if this is the right way to do this, but he has to try.]
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It's not the first time Leon's thought that Stahn is cute, but he supposes there's no better time than when they're both half-naked and he's straddling Stahn's lap, hips pressed to Stahn's without any intention of pulling away, because...well, why would he?
Unfortunately, Leon doesn't carry hair ties around, and the last thing he wants to do is move away from Stahn for something so pointless, so in the end he has to let go of Stahn's hair and watch it fall back into its typical mane, even if a little tidier now, though he still likes how Stahn looks like this as well (because, well... obviously... and with Stahn's fingers sliding lower and lower, he doesn't really have the room to worry about inconsequential things like what style Stahn's hair is in.
He clears his throat weakly as Stahn's fingers slide beneath his pants and tug, breathing out a slow, shuddering breath, eyes half-lidded. He doesn't know what they're doing either, or how they're going to proceed or even what the right way to do this is, but this has been good, and enjoyable, and so why stop? They must be doing something right.
So while Stahn gets adventurous at the back, Leon will shift instead to run his fingers from Stahn's hair to his shoulders and then his collarbone and down to his chest--because even if Stahn's the sort to occasionally walk around shirtless, Leon's never really been able to touch (though Stahn probably wouldn't have argued that), and honestly? He's not going to miss his chance now, not when he can finally explore and touch and experience for himself. He'll move on as well, when he has an idea of how he wants to do that, but he's gotten distracted by this.]
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not when he feels leon's fingers exploring his chest. not when every touch still manages to give him goosebumps. and certainly not when his hands are in a precarious position. they're about to take a huge step right now, and there is a certain amount of weight to the fact that they're committing to this. what they're going to do... it's everything. to someone like stahn, who is the furthest from anything resembling promiscuous, a person who has an understanding of things but still such firm beliefs in his own morals and dreams... this isn't a step to be taken lightly.
they've fumbled time and time again, and while those times were disappointing—be it from fumbling or from certain admittances—he knows know that neither he nor leon had been ready to take this step. they wanted it, but there's so much more than comes with it in stahn's mind.
it's the purest form and expression of love to him; words don't mean as much as actions after all... something he'd always been taught, but that he never completely understood until he was with leon. leon, who was terrible at putting his feelings into words, but could channel them all into his actions, be them gentle, curious touches or hard, aggressive kisses. and maybe all of that is exactly why even though stahn doesn't hesitate, he takes a moment before he continues.
he needs to suck in a quiet breath and handle this right. passionate, but gentle enough, with no hesitation. he's trying his best to exude a bit of confidence, but his nerves definitely leave his mouth a little dry. even still though... he keeps going, tugging at leon's pants, gently pulling them down a bit of the way; it definitely leaves leon a bit exposed, but he only stops when he gets as far as he can go while he's still being straddled.
and with that, he gives leon a curious look, to make sure he's still okay... but it's also one that is undoubtedly nervous and sheepish, because he knows that if he shifts his gaze, he'll be able to see all of leon.
and that's a pretty huge step for them both.]
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Leon's not like Stahn, after all.
He's an intensely private person, he's the sort of person who doesn't show himself off, he's the sort of person who wears layers and long-sleeves and doesn't show skin. He doesn't want people knowing more about him. He's afraid of being exposed to other people, of letting other people in and letting them see him, but outside and in.
And he knows Stahn knows all of that.
Because Stahn pauses, looking at him with an expression like that, trying so hard to make sure that Leon's okay, and it's in that moment that Leon knows that even though he has no idea what they're doing here, not really, despite what they want--even if he's not sure what to do in this instant at all--he knows as well that this is what he wants.
He's fine with this.
And he wants Stahn to know that he is, even if his heart is in his throat enough that he can't really speak. His voice and breath both catch in his throat--and then he knows what he can do to make sure Stahn knows he's entirely committed now. He shifts for a moment out of Stahn's lap (perhaps a bit alarmingly, though he doesn't mean to), but only long enough to properly strip himself of the remainder of his pants. And then... he'll return to where he was, gingerly straddling Stahn.
The position's incredibly intimate. It already had felt that way, but like this, it feels even more so. Leon feels... a little vulnerable, especially with Stahn still half-clothed, but he trusts Stahn with that, so even if he has to swallow tightly as he settles himself carefully back in Stahn's lap, he otherwise doesn't tense up.
It's a huge step--but it's one he's willing to take with Stahn.]
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and it's honestly something that's captivating to him. he knows how much he loves leon, how attracted he is to him—so being able to see him at his most vulnerable is something that's honestly kind of breathtaking. leon... leon really trusts him completely, he has to in order to be willing to do this. it's a bit touching and almost overwhelming in a sense, because the pure amount of trust that leon has in him tugs at his heart a bit. but that's not all that's on his mind, not when he can fully see leon—and it just makes him want leon more.
so when leon regains his position nestled against's stahn's body, the first thing stahn does isn't make an effort to explore these new parts. it's to cup leon's cheeks in his hands and share a warm, deep kiss with him. stahn's overwhelmed right now in the sense that this is all so new, in that he wants leon so much; even if they're both feeling their way through this and trying to figure out all the right beats along the way, there's no question in his mind that this is right.]
I... [he breaths an utterance against leon's lips when he pulls back, and in some sort of haze he realizes he's about to finish that sentence with words that don't need saying right now. "i love you," really does sit as the edge of his tongue, so stahn decides to silence the words with actions, kissing leon again. and this time, his hands wander, touching leon's skin gently, trailing down his neck to his chest and back to his hips.
things can't stay this way though; stahn is still half-clothed, and it's unfair. so he moves his hand to pull it back towards himself to unbuckle his belt...
but in doing so, his hand accidentally raises the stakes on intimacy as it grazes leon along the way.
—and stahn is immediately unsure of whether to acknowledge that or to press forward with what he was doing, so he tenses, just slightly.]
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Leon melts into the kiss, because it's safe and familiar and 100% Stahn being Stahn, and that's something he can handle. He knows he wants the rest as well, he does, but it's also all new to him, and it's hard not to be nervous and a little uncertain of exactly where they're going from here, or exactly what they're going to do.
Leon trusts Stan--he trusts him with everything, as his current vulnerable position makes very clear--but he still wants this to go well, and it's hard not to be a little nervous about the fact that he's completely new to this. Even knowing Stahn is as well... Leon doesn't like being oblivious or incompetent.
But Stahn just kisses him, and then again, and Leon kisses back, thoroughly and entirely pliantly, focused completely on that, so when Stahn's hand grazes against him, he's really not prepared for it at all. There's a choked off noise that he makes into the kiss, before he breaks away from it to breathe out a shuddering breath, even as a shiver goes down his spine. It wasn't even that much, honestly--just a touch, just a slight graze--but it's a promise of something else, and something completely new, and between the two of those things, it's pretty overwhelming.
But it hasn't missed his own notice that his hips shifted forward too, despite himself, searching for more than just a light graze, and Leon breathes out another shuddering breath before he has to accept that for all of his uncertainties (and Stahn's as well), their bodies know what they want--and he's not going to hold back, not after he made such a demonstration of telling Stahn not to do so.
So instead, he lifts his head again to press his lips to Stahn's, lingering and thorough, even as he reaches with his hands to slide his fingers lightly around Stahn's back and down to slip somewhat beneath his belt and pants as well. He doesn't want to get in the way of Stahn fumbling with his pants, but he does want to make it clear that he's ready to go forward with this--at least, as far forward as they know what they're doing.]
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[he mumbles against leon's lips. though the apology isn't really so much for the touch at all—that really isn't going to be the last of these actions tonight, right? so he knows he doesn't need to say sorry for it. the word comes for startling him that way, since it wasn't really intended to happen just yet.
but that's all it's for, and stahn is thoroughly unapologetic for the rest. it's why his kisses are still relentless, even when he has to pause to breathe against leon's mouth from the overload of sensations all over his body. the excitement coils in the pit of his stomach, like nervous butterflies, but in the best possible way. it's amplified once more by the deliberate way that leon presses against him, though he's also mentally cursing the fact that he's still partially clothed and unable to wholly feel leon's skin against his own.
because that's what he wants. he wants all of leon now, even if it's a little awkward, even if he's not exactly sure what they'll do once they get beyond this point. somehow, it doesn't seem to matter because he just knows he needs to listen to what his body tells him to do. that's why he shifts to completely unbuckle his belt, with minor fumbling from the way his hands just barely tremble from the intensity of it all. where leon's hands have shifted excites him all the more, his body almost jerkily reacting to it with a small thrusting of his hips.
he doesn't want to wait much more, not with this much still separating them, so stahn isn't wasting much time to start tugging a little at his own pants...
though it's admittedly hard for him to focus on when he's also shifting his kisses to trace leon's jawline at the very same time.
there's so much that stahn wants, so much he wants to feel and experience, so much that he wants to do with leon, so much that he wants to do in order to prove that leon's trust has been put in the right place. and because it's so much, he's not really able to focus on doing more than one thing at a time here—nobody's ever looked at stahn to be a master of multitasking, after all, and with his mind in this haze of desire, he's probably just a little worse than usual.]
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Stahn presses his hips forward in short, small movements and Leon isn't prepared for the friction that provides, even if the movements are still pretty gentle as of now. The sensations are intense and new and overwhelming and Leon can't even control the way that his short shuddering breaths become gasps which become groans, each motion sending so many sensations through his body.
And Stahn is still clothed.
Too much, anyway, because his shirt is off, yes, but Leon has seen Stahn shirtless before. He wants to see Stahn in the same position he's in, he wants to feel Stahn's skin against his, he wants to see what this will feel like without that added barrier of clothing between them.
But Stahn fumbles, and Leon grumbles into the kisses, and it's far too far into this for him to fret about things now.
No...now he doesn't care so much anymore, not with the sensations coursing through his body, so he takes charge, shifting Stahn's hands away so he can firmly move his way into removing that belt properly and moving his fingers to tug gently at his pants.
He could pull them down now...but he waits just a moment, pulling away from the kisses just long enough to meet Stahn's eyes, flushed and disheveled and undoubtedly excited, but still solemn.
He won't keep going until Stahn is ready, that's what that face says, even if he doesn't have the breath for words.]
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suddenly, it's leon taking charge of the situation—something that seems to be both expected and yet unexpected all at once. leon's always been good at commanding situations; it's something stahn admires about him wholly... and maybe he expected that at some point, leon would take the initiative.
but at the same token, stahn had been the one leading them this way, pushing and pushing until leon was ready, and doing his best to try not to fumble through something so new. but now leon's hands are on his belt, so dangerously close to grazing him through what little cloth remains, and then he's tugging. leon is eager, as eager as he is... and somehow, that's even more of a turn-on than stahn could have ever prepared himself for. but then comes that moment where he's pulling back, looking to stahn for some kind of consent to move forward and he can't help but to feel warmed by it. every action between them so so careful and cautious but in the best way. just as stahn had wanted to make sure that leon's been ready every step of the way, leon is doing just the same for him.
he looks a little overwhelmed, with pink cheeks and raw, red lips, and hair that looks decidedly disheveled compared to how he normally carries himself. it's cute, it's attracive... it's everything. and stahn wants every last bit of that for himself.
so with his hands now freed up, he rests one right at leon's groin carefully, while the other traces up his body until his hand cups leon's cheek. it only remains that way for a brief moment before stahn is pushing some of that hair away from his face, lazily offering a smile... and then pressing a slightly wet kiss where leon's jaw meets his ear before finally speaking—a husk that's barely above a whisper directly into leon's ear, like a secret meant only for him.]
I'm okay... you can keep going.
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Stahn being like this... Stahn so easily offering that lazy smile, Stahn kissing him like that, whispering like that--there's nothing innocent at all about that sort of response, and it almost leaves Leon's entire brain blank (probably because honestly? That blood is rushing elsewhere else real fast). He swallows tightly in response, breathing out a shuddering breath and managing nothing more than a shaky nod.
He can keep going.
Which is good, because he definitely didn't want to stop now, not with how Stahn looks like this, not with how very thoroughly aroused Leon feels, and he knows Stahn feels the same--
And so he doesn't hesitate to make those intentions very clear. Leon's more dramatic than Stahn, though; even not knowing exactly what he's doing here, he has enough of a flair for the dramatic to do this in a way that seems proper to him. And so he slides one hand up into Stan's hair, holding his head in place as he presses their lips together and lingers, thoroughly tasting everything Stahn has to offer, and trying his best to keep him occupied.
It's a little trickier to remove Stahn's pants with one hand, but if nothing else, Leon's always been pretty precise; he tugs at Stahn's pants rather nimbly with his free hand, sliding them down from one side and then the other with clear intent. And Stahn is under him, too, which makes it even trickier--but he's willing to lift his hips just long enough to tug those pants down further.]
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it's hard for stahn to focus at all when leon kisses him in such a tantalizing way. it's so easy to get engrossed in the feeling of leon's lips, of the way is own tingle from how long they've been doing this, and the sweet, familiar taste that he can't get enough of. he's a little light-headed from all the excitement—there's little doubt that so much blood has been rushing elsewhere that it's dizzying.
but all the same, leon is being... well, impressively leon. maneuvering one-handed so skillfully; it's almost difficult to tell that he's never done this before. he's certainly a bit smoother than stahn, and his motions feel confident and so distinctly leon that stahn can't help but feel more aroused by every last bit of his actions.
when leon lifts his hips, he feels the pressure and the friction ease and stahn can't help but to exhale a breath; it's probably the only reprieve his overloaded brain has had in a few minutes (not that he's complaining), though it's probably not a bad thing. stahn is a quick enough learner to know what to do next, pressing a bit of weight from his hand against leon's thigh and drawing the other away from his face to press into the matress. he can use that support to shift, lifting himself in a way that's inviting enough for leon to be able to further tug his pants down.
please. stahn is begging silently as he seeks leon's lips again. he wants this. he wants this a lot, to be able to feel every last inch of leon against his skin, and for leon to feel him in just the same way. maybe it's not even want, it's need, and he desperately feels like he's never needed anything in his life more than every bit of leon.]
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But the rest of his mind is very much occupied with the need to pull Stahn's pants down the rest of the way--which is something he's able to accomplish when Stahn lifts himself, pulling the pants down as far as he possibly can. He can't strip Stahn completely from this position, but he was more than able to pull those pants down far enough to expose Stahn completely, just like Leon, and he's not going to worry about the rest.
He can't worry about the rest, because then he's settling himself back into Stahn's lap, and in the process, their hips press together just like this, no barriers between them, and the noise Leon makes when he pulls away from the kiss is choked and pleased, because this is what they were undeniably working towards.
And it's still so much more than he could have ever anticipated. Leon's hands slide from Stahn's hair to just wrap around his back, at a loss for what else to do with them; there's a lot still they have to figure out from here, but what Leon knows for sure is that he wants Stahn to stay this close, even if he knows nothing else.
But now, both naked and pressed together like this, they're certainly teetering right on the edge of something bigger, and Leon is ready, but he also wants to make sure that it's something they do and decide upon together--which is why he licks his lips and swallows, and meets Stahn's eyes firmly.
It's clear, really, even as his breathing is ragged and his face is flushed--
What now?
Because Leon would probably be willing to do just about anything--and he'd be willing to take charge as well, he thinks, but it's something he wants to confirm with Stahn first.]
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he's enjoying every kiss and every touch as they fumble their way through this, and stahn can tell from the way leon moves that he's enjoying it too. even if they're both unsure of what comes next, of what they're doing it and just trying to feel it all out as they progress... it's truly the first time he's sure they both feel completely ready to take this next step together.
one of the things stahn knows though is that he doesn't want anything between them; even if his pants are pulled down enough to expose him fully and allow for direct contact, he's not completely stripped yet. the other thing he knows is that he doesn't, for any reason, want to break this contact with leon at all. the way they're pressed together, the invigorating, exciting feeling of friction and touch that makes his heart race—he doesn't want that to stop for even a single moment.
so even as leon looks at him, questioning further consent, seeking out something.. he's trying to work out the best course of action himself. his own breathing his ragged, his cheeks are flushed, and though it can't be seen, beads of sweat are already forming at his hairline—but there's a glint of excitement in his eyes even as he also looks... not entirely sure of what to do.
time to wing it.
a hand finds its way to leon's waist, the other to the middle of his back, and stahn is lowering himself to lay flat on the bed. in this way, he can feel the entirety of leon's weight against him—which between two kisses causes him to breathe in very sharply. but the position of his hands doesn't last—he seeks out one of leon's and tries to guide it towards his pants. this way, they could strip the remainder of his clothes with only minor weight shifting, and leon can still be directly on top of him. it gives them both a little bit of control as they try to figure out what comes next.
...which, well—that's the part stahn is most unsure of, honestly. he's never done this, not with anyone, and while he knows what the end result should be, all the pleasurable steps in getting there are the parts he doesn't know how to approach. he wants to see leon, feel him, touch him, taste him—in just about every way, but there still is that sense of apprehension for how to actually do that.]
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